asking me questions about my nanny ad

[Anonymous]

I put up a testimonial for my family's much beloved nanny who has been with us a number of years on a few local listservs listing my nanny's cell and email and also my contact info in case people had further questions. people have been asking me a bunch of questions that have made me uncomfortable and I don't know how to respond appropriately, namely what is her age? how many sick days has she taken? how much do you pay her? Am I being too sensitive?

For the first two questions, she's not old, barely takes any sick days, but I feel they're inappropriate questions somehow, because people shouldn't make hiring decisions based on age and sick leave information they wouldn't have unless I told them. For the last one about salary, she was with us for a long time, and got regular salary increases, so I don't know if she'd charge a family that had 1 kid rather than 2 the same rate we paid her, or vice-versa, she may want to make more with another family. In any case, I believe these people should ask my nanny these things directly. Am I being too sensitive? How should I respond politely? I really want our nanny to find someone great, but I feel like some of these questions blur the lines on legality in terms of things you ask in a hiring process.

[Anonymous]

I would be happy to provide a recommendation on the care she give my children..but it would not be appropriate for me to give out personal demographic or salary information.

[Anonymous]

You posted yours and your nanny’s phone number publicly?!? No! You are not professional.

Nanny is a responsible adult who shows up for work on time, gives my children love and support as well as educational experiences. She does not misuse sick time. Her salary is within the $20-25/hr range, depending on a variety of factors.

[Anonymous]

Oof, I got some of these types of questions too, although not as many as you did. They were generally limited to whether the nanny had been reliable and how much our kids liked her.

The one time I had a mom grill me about whether our former nanny had kids, I did answer honestly (because she had older kids, and she literally never missed a day of work in 3 years). But I felt VERY uncomfortable about it, and told my nanny that she should go with a different option if she had it.

Good nannies have choices in who to work for, so don't for a second think that former mom bosses won't report back to their nannies about future employers! The interview goes both ways, remember ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You posted yours and your nanny’s phone number publicly?!? No! You are not professional.

Nanny is a responsible adult who shows up for work on time, gives my children love and support as well as educational experiences. She does not misuse sick time. Her salary is within the $20-25/hr range, depending on a variety of factors.

I wouldn't give out her salary. Not my business!

[Anonymous]

I definitely asked former employer about sick days taken as the reliability of the Nanny was a huge factor for me.

I also asked about salary because I wanted to make sure I offered something fair.

I responded to current employer ad and I basically did my reference type check prior to interviewing the nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You posted yours and your nanny’s phone number publicly?!? No! You are not professional.

Nanny is a responsible adult who shows up for work on time, gives my children love and support as well as educational experiences. She does not misuse sick time. Her salary is within the $20-25/hr range, depending on a variety of factors.

Chill, PP. Maybe the nanny requested that this info be included in an advertisement. I think the information you've given is fine, but if the OP said she was willing to answer questions people have, then it's reasonable that people would ask questions. You sound overly sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You posted yours and your nanny’s phone number publicly?!? No! You are not professional.

Nanny is a responsible adult who shows up for work on time, gives my children love and support as well as educational experiences. She does not misuse sick time. Her salary is within the $20-25/hr range, depending on a variety of factors.

Are you in the DC area? Most ads do have phone numbers on them.

[Anonymous]

You are hiring someone to watch your kids. You have every right to ask any question you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are hiring someone to watch your kids. You have every right to ask any question you want.

Sure, and OP has the right not to answer if they're inappropriate. Things like age, sick leave, I wouldn't answer those questions. And salary, maybe I would answer, but the nanny can negotiate whatever she wants. My nanny asked for salary x, and told me she had made salary x-1 before, but that she had more experience now. I said yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You posted yours and your nanny’s phone number publicly?!? No! You are not professional.

Nanny is a responsible adult who shows up for work on time, gives my children love and support as well as educational experiences. She does not misuse sick time. Her salary is within the $20-25/hr range, depending on a variety of factors.

Are you in the DC area? Most ads do have phone numbers on them.

+1 Most of the nannies I've seen prefer to communicate by text over email. I hate those ads where the employer only posts their own contact info, and says that any interested should contact the current employer. It's like they're trying to control the nanny so they don't jump ship early for a better offer.

[Anonymous]

I know op what you mean. I experienced similar when potential employers called me for reference for my nanny.

One even asked me if my nanny would be happy with a certain arrangement. I told her I am not my nanny’s spokesperson and cannot answer this on her behalf and she actually needs to talk to the nanny and decide for herself.

I was ready to answer questions about reliability, about how good she is with the kids, about her responsibilities and what was she great at and not so great, but got a bunch of questions that were totally irrelevant. It doesn’t matter how much I paid her, or how much sick leave, etc I gave her, or what arrangements we had for summer hours. My kids are grown, and my nanny’s options are not what I offered her, but what you (future employer) and other potential future employers are willing to offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know op what you mean. I experienced similar when potential employers called me for reference for my nanny.

One even asked me if my nanny would be happy with a certain arrangement. I told her I am not my nanny’s spokesperson and cannot answer this on her behalf and she actually needs to talk to the nanny and decide for herself.

I was ready to answer questions about reliability, about how good she is with the kids, about her responsibilities and what was she great at and not so great, but got a bunch of questions that were totally irrelevant. It doesn’t matter how much I paid her, or how much sick leave, etc I gave her, or what arrangements we had for summer hours. My kids are grown, and my nanny’s options are not what I offered her, but what you (future employer) and other potential future employers are willing to offer.

OP here. Thanks for all the helpful posts above. Yes, that's it exactly, and I have been getting a few questions of "do you think your nanny would be ok with x or y?" One person even asked me to list my contract provisions. My nanny is an adult and can choose to work under whatever conditions she chose. And judging by how many people have contacted both me and her, I think she'll get more than a few good offers.

[Anonymous]

I'm living abroad and had a new nanny who took more than 10 days of sick leave in the first six months. Each individual time seemed reasonable at first. It wasn't a single serious illness or event, which I would be more understanding about. The final straw was when she took a week for a super minor medical procedure (think teeth cleaning -- that level). I had a new job and no leave, so I was in a real bind.

So, yeah, I'm asking EVERYONE about a nanny's historic use of sick leave. And when I saw someone post recommending the same nanny, I made sure to respond that she had had a lot of absences and wouldn't recommend her.

She had an attitude problem by the end anyway and I was sure she was abusing sick time, not just having a string of bad luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm living abroad and had a new nanny who took more than 10 days of sick leave in the first six months. Each individual time seemed reasonable at first. It wasn't a single serious illness or event, which I would be more understanding about. The final straw was when she took a week for a super minor medical procedure (think teeth cleaning -- that level). I had a new job and no leave, so I was in a real bind.

So, yeah, I'm asking EVERYONE about a nanny's historic use of sick leave. And when I saw someone post recommending the same nanny, I made sure to respond that she had had a lot of absences and wouldn't recommend her.

She had an attitude problem by the end anyway and I was sure she was abusing sick time, not just having a string of bad luck.

Just don’t offer sick leave in your contract.