Gender of your children

[Anonymous]

If you have only girls or only boys or one of each...as their parent is there really a difference in love or experience? Are we really missing out without one of each gender? Solve this once and for all for me. I am really happy with 2 from the same gender and never have thought otherwise. Why do other people think otherwise and finally is there really something to be missed?

[Anonymous]

It's a social construct thing - the all-American "perfect family" with one of each. Most same sex siblings are closer and have a better family dynamic in my experience (here come those with one of each arguing...)

[Anonymous]

As someone with only one sibling who's opposite-gender from me, I'm somewhat jealous of those who have a same-sex sibling. My brother and I are close enough, and love each other, but we aren't quite "friends" the same way that some (but not all!) same-sex siblings frequently seem to be.

And I have one kid, will be trying for a second soon. I didn't care at all what the gender of the first was, but now am really rooting for the second to be the same gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone with only one sibling who's opposite-gender from me, I'm somewhat jealous of those who have a same-sex sibling. My brother and I are close enough, and love each other, but we aren't quite "friends" the same way that some (but not all!) same-sex siblings frequently seem to be.

And I have one kid, will be trying for a second soon. I didn't care at all what the gender of the first was, but now am really rooting for the second to be the same gender.

+1 to all of this

[Anonymous]

From my perspective, having one of each was appealing. I'm glad I have a DD and I'm glad my DH has a DS. I like having both to parent.

BUT when I look at it from my kid's perspectives, I am sometimes sad my DD won't have a sister like I do. Women hold families together in different ways than men do. Obviously I'm less sad my DS won't have a brother, since that's not a relationship I have.

But no matter what someone is missing something. It's best to enjoy what you've got and do your best without worrying about things that are outside of your control.

[Anonymous]

You get what you get. My son and daughter play together beautifully. I too my dd shopping this weekend which was so fun. My son would have been bored to tears. I love having one of each.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From my perspective, having one of each was appealing. I'm glad I have a DD and I'm glad my DH has a DS. I like having both to parent.

BUT when I look at it from my kid's perspectives, I am sometimes sad my DD won't have a sister like I do. Women hold families together in different ways than men do. Obviously I'm less sad my DS won't have a brother, since that's not a relationship I have.

But no matter what someone is missing something. It's best to enjoy what you've got and do your best without worrying about things that are outside of your control.

Yes my dd wishes she had a sister all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone with only one sibling who's opposite-gender from me, I'm somewhat jealous of those who have a same-sex sibling. My brother and I are close enough, and love each other, but we aren't quite "friends" the same way that some (but not all!) same-sex siblings frequently seem to be.

And I have one kid, will be trying for a second soon. I didn't care at all what the gender of the first was, but now am really rooting for the second to be the same gender.

I think opposite is better. Less completion. My parents made everything with my sister and I a competition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with only one sibling who's opposite-gender from me, I'm somewhat jealous of those who have a same-sex sibling. My brother and I are close enough, and love each other, but we aren't quite "friends" the same way that some (but not all!) same-sex siblings frequently seem to be.

And I have one kid, will be trying for a second soon. I didn't care at all what the gender of the first was, but now am really rooting for the second to be the same gender.

I think opposite is better. Less completion. My parents made everything with my sister and I a competition.

So far it sounds like when you have 2 of the same gender they are really close but there exist a competitive spirit that doesn't happen the same if opposite genders.

[Anonymous]

You cant have every experience. There are differences between girl-girl, boy-boy, and girl-boy and all of the variations in between, but the actual personalities of every family member makes more of a difference. Everyone in the family will have a different experience - even when they are all together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have only girls or only boys or one of each...as their parent is there really a difference in love or experience? Are we really missing out without one of each gender? Solve this once and for all for me. I am really happy with 2 from the same gender and never have thought otherwise. Why do other people think otherwise and finally is there really something to be missed?

The only people that can answer your question are people that have 2 of one gender for a while and then later have a third of another gender. Otherwise, how can you tell?

I am a mom to boys. I love my boys but I wish we could have had a daughter as well, mainly for how I idealistically imagine the mother-daughter relationship to be, especially after your child marries and has kids. My mom died when my oldest was a baby so I didn't get to experience it as a daughter. I worry that my boys' family will be much closer to his wife's family just because that is often how it is, though I'll do my best for that not to be the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with only one sibling who's opposite-gender from me, I'm somewhat jealous of those who have a same-sex sibling. My brother and I are close enough, and love each other, but we aren't quite "friends" the same way that some (but not all!) same-sex siblings frequently seem to be.

And I have one kid, will be trying for a second soon. I didn't care at all what the gender of the first was, but now am really rooting for the second to be the same gender.

I think opposite is better. Less completion. My parents made everything with my sister and I a competition.

So far it sounds like when you have 2 of the same gender they are really close but there exist a competitive spirit that doesn't happen the same if opposite genders.

There seems to be 2 relationships emerging here...
1. the difference in the relationship between the siblings
2. the difference between the experience of parenting or the parent/child relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have only girls or only boys or one of each...as their parent is there really a difference in love or experience? Are we really missing out without one of each gender? Solve this once and for all for me. I am really happy with 2 from the same gender and never have thought otherwise. Why do other people think otherwise and finally is there really something to be missed?

The only people that can answer your question are people that have 2 of one gender for a while and then later have a third of another gender. Otherwise, how can you tell?

I am a mom to boys. I love my boys but I wish we could have had a daughter as well, mainly for how I idealistically imagine the mother-daughter relationship to be, especially after your child marries and has kids. My mom died when my oldest was a baby so I didn't get to experience it as a daughter. I worry that my boys' family will be much closer to his wife's family just because that is often how it is, though I'll do my best for that not to be the case.

Anyone have 2 of the same gender and then have a 3rd opposite gender???? Please explain.

[Anonymous]

Love having one of each. They are best friends, and the experience of raising a boy and a girl is cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you have only girls or only boys or one of each...as their parent is there really a difference in love or experience? Are we really missing out without one of each gender? Solve this once and for all for me. I am really happy with 2 from the same gender and never have thought otherwise. Why do other people think otherwise and finally is there really something to be missed?

The only people that can answer your question are people that have 2 of one gender for a while and then later have a third of another gender. Otherwise, how can you tell?

I am a mom to boys. I love my boys but I wish we could have had a daughter as well, mainly for how I idealistically imagine the mother-daughter relationship to be, especially after your child marries and has kids. My mom died when my oldest was a baby so I didn't get to experience it as a daughter. I worry that my boys' family will be much closer to his wife's family just because that is often how it is, though I'll do my best for that not to be the case.

I'm kind of in this boat. I also have two boys and it's AMAZING. They're such wonderful people, so close to each other, so affectionate with me, and just generally awesome. That said, my mom died before they were born and she and I were very close. I do worry about 'losing' them to a wife's family but my MIL and I are very close and I hope to raise my boys so they'll pick women who would be open to a relationship with me (I mean I'm pretty awesome right?) I also think with gender roles changing there are more and more men who take a more involved role in their parents' lives - my FIL managed his elderly mother's care for years, etc.