Is there an age when things get easier, or not really?

[Anonymous]

DD is 2.5. We are really struggling right now. She’s having wild tantrums and is very hard to put to bed at night and is generally defiant. Just a month ago, though, things were pretty easy, so I know this is just a stage. But even beyond the stuff with her age, DH and I have some health stuff and some financial stuff and job uncertainties that just make things stressful. I keep thinking “if we can get past these tantrums, things will get easier” but then folks say 3 is even harder than 2. All of this is DEFINITELY easier than the first 6 months were for us (reflux, colic, no sleep), so we seem to be on the right trajectory. Is there an age when things get noticeably easier? 4? Kindergarten? Or never really?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 2.5. We are really struggling right now. She’s having wild tantrums and is very hard to put to bed at night and is generally defiant. Just a month ago, though, things were pretty easy, so I know this is just a stage. But even beyond the stuff with her age, DH and I have some health stuff and some financial stuff and job uncertainties that just make things stressful. I keep thinking “if we can get past these tantrums, things will get easier” but then folks say 3 is even harder than 2. All of this is DEFINITELY easier than the first 6 months were for us (reflux, colic, no sleep), so we seem to be on the right trajectory. Is there an age when things get noticeably easier? 4? Kindergarten? Or never really?

Mom of a 19 year old here. Other than this past year when DS was away at college, I would say that 4 was the easiest year by far. No diapers, no nap, predictable feeding time and could eat whatever was available. Plenty of words to express himself, and understand my point of view which meant fewer tantrums. Plus he was still in full day daycare so no finding summer camps, no homework, no juggling before care/after care, no exhaustion from a full day of school, no after school activities. 4 really was heaven.

[Anonymous]

7-8 seemed to get easier.

[Anonymous]

Thanks, PP. But then 5 got hard again? I guess the subtext of my question is that if there are other things that I should deal with but don’t have the emotional reserves to tackle at the moment (like — should we be staying in DC long term? I need to start a job search in other cities and see what’s out there. And if I get a new job, we’d need to move and then i’d need to prove myself at a new job. None of that is stuff I can do right now. I’m thinking I need to wait until DD is a bit easier!) Are you telling me I have one glory year of ease when she’s 4 to get all that done and then the $&@“ is going to hit the fan again?

[Anonymous]

I have 4 kids and the oldest is 12. The easiest age so far has been 7-8, but most of the time from 6-10 is pretty good/easy. And 11/12 hasn’t been too bad, just occasionally emotionally draining, though our 12 yo is a DS - it may be different with a DD.

[Anonymous]

5-9 seem pretty easy so far.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks, PP. But then 5 got hard again? I guess the subtext of my question is that if there are other things that I should deal with but don’t have the emotional reserves to tackle at the moment (like — should we be staying in DC long term? I need to start a job search in other cities and see what’s out there. And if I get a new job, we’d need to move and then i’d need to prove myself at a new job. None of that is stuff I can do right now. I’m thinking I need to wait until DD is a bit easier!) Are you telling me I have one glory year of ease when she’s 4 to get all that done and then the $&@“ is going to hit the fan again?

The kid didn’t get harder, 5 was an easygoing age. But I found daycare easier to deal with than school. He came home from daycare ready for a fun family evening, whereas after aftercare he was tired and there was homework and a rush to get to bed. And you have to send them even if you have the day off, but also find care when they were off and I wasn’t. Not as hard as 2, but not as easy as 4.

[Anonymous]

At 7 years here and i feel like every year is an improvement and yes the first 6 months were so bad I involuntarily wince when I see babies. Each year is just better and better (or the first was so bad everything mediocre seems like rainbows and butterflies)

[Anonymous]

Each age comes with its own set of difficulties. It doesn’t really get easier.


I noticed at 4 vacations were enjoyable again. But it really depends on the kids.

I’ve found the older they get the more emotional and complex the problems. It’s different and more devastating then what your dealing with in diapers, and it gets to the point where these are things they really remember from their childhood so you have to make sure you choose your word wisely. It’s a lot of pressure!

[Anonymous]

Op- how are you dealing with the meltdowns? Have you read up on how to deal with them? Janet Landsbury is really good.

[Anonymous]

I have three kids in elementary school (grades 2, 3 and 5) and so far, it's been a breeze compared to those early years!

[Anonymous]

I also found 4 to be when things got easier. Potty trained..less need for naps. Elementary schools stayed for the must part easy. Teens years get trickier. My teens are not bad at all but their need for independence and less interest in family activities changes things a lot. You have a lot less control and the issues are bigger and scarier,

[Anonymous]

It will get different, but never really easier. The rewards are awesome though!

[Anonymous]

Mom of three and I've found that age 4 was a turnaround for us. More independence, better swimmer, traveling became fun again, can begin to do more family activities like board games or bike riding.

[Anonymous]

I am not a baby or little kid person, although I was surprised at how much I enjoyed baby/toddlerhood relative to what I expected. That said, I COULD NOT WAIT for 4, because I'd heard that was when everything got easier. Well, sort of.

3.5 was when my DC could at least occasionally be reasoned with, and started saying things like, "nah, never mind, that's okay, I guess I don't really need X." Occasionally, LOL. But I did notice a little light at the end of the tunnel there.

Maybe 4.75 is when nearly all real tantrums stopped (they had already become less frequent), attention span lengthened considerably, etc.

Starting around 5.5 or so (Kindergarten) has been cake in comparison to all previous years. She's ~6.25 and while there are always challenges, it's SO easy, in comparison, for me. And I don't just mean less "work," but more enjoyable, more comfortable.