Girl and boy, 4 years apart

[Anonymous]

If this is your family structure, I'd love to hear about your experience!

[Anonymous]

I had a boy then a girl five years later. It was fine. They got along fairly well, sometimes even played together, and the older one was able to amuse himself and even help out with the baby during the infancy stage.

Since they became adults the age difference is a non-issue, they are close.

[Anonymous]

This is our situation and it’s been great. Older sister, younger brother. They’re now middle school and upper elementary school, and very close.

[Anonymous]

My older DS and younger DD are 5 years apart, and have a close bond. They never fought, and DS was always fine with DD coming into his room and playing with his toys when they were little. Actually for a while they shared a room, now I remember.

[Anonymous]

I have this with big sister, little brother. At first, I really hoped for a closer age gap, but that didn’t work out for me. Turns out though that the gap is great. They adore each other.

[Anonymous]

Girl then boy. They afore each other and love playing together. There’s definitely an increasing element of DS tormenting DD, little brother style, but most of the time they are great.
Someone mentioned to me that a larger age gapmeans they atent competing with each other whic removes an element of friction. That has mostly been our experience

[Anonymous]

I was the older sibling in that family structure. We got along okay, I guess, but were never close and are even less close as adults.

[Anonymous]

I have that. Older girl, younger boy, now in upper and lower elementary.

Honestly it has been just fine. Much better than my own sibling situation, which was same sex siblings with an 18 month gap.

The larger age gap and the boy/girl thing makes for significantly less competition, and I feel like each can be themselves without worrying about who is the "pretty one" or the "sporty one" or the "smart one."

[Anonymous]

I have a just shy of 5 year gap between my older girl and younger boy. It’s fine. The little one ends up getting dragged to a lot of the older one’s practices and such as I do all after school activities and he’s not really old enough to be doing any. That all changed this fall when he’s old enough for sports and such. Haven’t quite puzzled that one out yet. They mostly each do their own thing, though oddly the older one will often try to take away whatever the younger one is doing even when it’s his. So I spend a surprising amount of time refereeing those arguments.

Plus side, I never had two in daycare at the same time nor will I ever have two in college at the same time. With the little one starting pk4 this fall I will enjoy one pickup (and drop off for my husband) for 3 years!

[Anonymous]

My DS is almost 4 years older than DD. They're 7 and 3 now and have the usual squabbles but overall get along very well. DS has always doted on DD and loves to introduce her to people, never acts like she's a pesky little sister. I hope their relationship continues to be close.

My DH is 4 years older than his sister and they've never been close and aren't close as adults, despite each having close relationships with their parents and what I would consider a loving, close family. They don't have much conflict, they're very nice to each other, but just not confidantes or friends. So who knows!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was the older sibling in that family structure. We got along okay, I guess, but were never close and are even less close as adults.

This. I was the big sister with a brother 4 years younger. We were never into the same things, could never be each other’s buddy on vacations or at amusement parks (couldn’t ride same rides) and have just never been close. We each brought a friend or cousin with us on any outing bigger than a family dinner. I suppose we would have fought more if we were closer in age or same gender but we’ve never been friends either—even now in our 30s. I was adamant that I did not want a 4 year age gap for my kids and now our dd will have a little brother soon at age 2.5. I’m not expecting them to be best friends either but hoping for a little bit more companionship than I had with my brother. But to me 4 years is a tough age gap—I think less than 3 or 6+ years is optimal.

[Anonymous]

OP, don't fret about this

[Anonymous]

My step kids are like this, now 14 and 18. They have almost zero in common when it comes to interests. Girl is into museums, politics, boys, social media, volleyball, Game of Thrones. Boy is into none of these things. He likes his sport (swim), watching and playing basketball, and all manner of video games. They both love movies and come together for Star Wars, Avengers, and related. And they are both foodies.

That said, they are very close and they adore each other.

[Anonymous]

This is my brother and me. I'm four years older. Seems perfectly normal to me ...