Kids constantly late
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Anonymous
| 17 year old child is late for school, late for internship, late for everything. He gets up early and still is late. I wait for him to get him out of the house, but think he is too old for that. Any suggestions that have worked? |
Anonymous
| Let him be late, and let him get the consequence. |
Anonymous
| Is this new behavior |
Anonymous
|
Well, whatever you do, DON'T do what my aunt did for my cousin. She called him every single morning even in college. AND MED SCHOOL. And then he got married, and it became Sharon's job to wake her husband up for work each morning.
I agree with letting him deal with the consequences. |
Anonymous
| My DD too!! So frustrating!! She had a C in art one quarter because she was so late every day to school she couldn't finish a project. She's an amazing artist and loves her teacher. I let her live with the consequences but it is extremely frustrating and I don't know how they're going to make it to adulthood with this pattern. Any and all help welcome. She does have ADHD for what that's worth. |
Anonymous
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What does he do when he gets up early?
Stare out the window? Yes, you should have stopped “helping” him in the morning a long time ago, so please stop now. |
Anonymous
OP Plays video games for one. Thinks that he can leave at the last minute and get to his destination on time. If I helped him, he would get there on time, but I don't so he is late. |
Anonymous
| ADHD? Everything’s not a dx, but some things are. |
Anonymous
yep, so typical for ADHD! |
Anonymous
Yeah, this is me (or would still be ALL the time without major intervention, for years). I have ADHD. |
Anonymous
To clarify, it's a combination of poor executive functioning/planning skills, a sort of "time blindness" ("Literally WHERE did the time go!?") and a tiny bit of being so terribly impatient that I'd rather cut it close than have to sit around and wait for someone else or something to start. |
Anonymous
|
My brother was late when he was a child, late when he was an adult, and the only one like this out of four kids, parents were not like this either.
Nothing anybody did or said ever made any difference. |
Anonymous
This won't be popular with the "do nothing for him" crowd here, but I'd find a way to block the games in the morning. Make the game controller disappear every night or whatever. He sounds like he lacks the maturity to resist gaming first thing in the morning and since he's still in HS I wouldn't hesitate to lock up whatever was the big distraction -- in this case, the gaming system or whatever he's using. The rest of getting up and out the door can be on him. Is it a summer internship? Those are sought after! I'd be crystal clear with him that if he loses something as good as an internship due to lateness he will be doing absolute grunt work around the house with his newly "free" time. Other students are hungry for internships. If he loses his due to repeated tardiness, he's denied another teen that slot this summer--someone who might have valued the internship enough to get there on time every day. That would be pretty much the speech he'd get from me. |
Anonymous
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Here are some resources for you:
https://www.amazon.com/Late-Lost-Unprepared-Executive-Functioning/dp/1890627844 https://www.amazon.com/Smart-but-Scattered-Teens-Executive/dp/1609182294 With a 17yo, you have limited time to help get your DS on a better trajectory, but you can still be a great parent and help him with this stuff. He needs tools. And he also needs to understand that his lateness is a sign of disrespect for others and shows extreme disregard for the value of other people's time. This will impact his family, friendships and work relationships as he gets older. |