With no family nearby...

[Anonymous]

If you didn't raise your kids or are currently raising your kids without a close family network (by choice or other), what did you replace the time/people/energy of that with? Instead of visiting In-laws and going to Uncle's bar-b-que cook out every other weekend, what did you do instead?

[Anonymous]

We hang out with friends! When kids were little we would go to various kid-friendly activities - fall festivals, berry picking etc. Now there’s lots of youth sports and birthday parties, pot lucks with neighbors and friends.

[Anonymous]

Tons and tons of amazing friendships! My best friends love my kids like their own.

[Anonymous]

church, sports, friends, travel . . . sometimes I wish we'd been able to give our kids that extended family network, but then I realize we might have missed out on some of these other experiences and connections . . . there are always trade-offs in life

[Anonymous]

btw, there's a whole thread on the Family Relationships forum with people complaining about too many local family celebrations and obligations . . . most of us would probably like to have a just-right balance, but that isn't always possible

[Anonymous]

My parents came to this country without any family. They made friends.

[Anonymous]

We try to have friends over frequently, so that kids get a sense of community. This is not quite the same as (supportive/loving) family, but that's what we've got.

[Anonymous]

When they were younger we just did simple stuff that the kids enjoyed. My kids really like riding the metro, so we'd metro into DC (we live and work in the suburbs) and see something there, have lunch or whatever. Now they are preteens and weekends are filled with their activities and they have a lot of friends that they want to go see or have over. I miss having family, but filling up time is definitely not the issue.

[Anonymous]

We spend time with friends, we travel to visit friends and family, we go on outings to museums, festivals, etc., we organize playdates, etc. Like another PP, I miss my extended family, but it's not because have too much time on my hands.

[Anonymous]

We made friends into family.

[Anonymous]

Each weekend we go to the farmer's market, then brunch, then one parent does something fun with one kid while the other parent does errands with the other kid. Then a family activity with another family.

[Anonymous]

I actually would love this. Freedom to have the holidays you want, birthday parties with friends and time to spend your free time hosting bbqs, picnics and great friends. I struggle to live my own life because I'm just yet another family member in a big family network.

[Anonymous]

We are in this situation. No local family--family is all on the West Coast. I do wish we had things like Grandma's Sunday dinner or brunch with the cousins to do on the weekends and often it feels lonely that we don't. We also have an only child and my husband works a lot of weekends.

So what we do is we have enrolled our child in a lot of classes each weekend (two each morning such as swim class and soccer). After the classes we go out to brunch, preferably with friends. I have have worked hard to make a lot of friends and we get together with them often. Once or twice a month I entertain at home, hosting a family brunch or dinner with friends and their kids. We go to birthday parties on the weekends, playdates, events like festivals or fairs, day trips, and a few errands. All that fills up the weekend.

But there are many weekends where besides the classes, we have nothing planned. That's why we're doing the classes, so at least if we have no other plans, at least I know that we will get to socialize at the classes.

Holidays are also difficult because for various reasons (including distance) we don't celebrate holidays with family. We often travel for holidays, or invite friends for Friendsgiving, etc.

[Anonymous]

Friends.

[Anonymous]

No close family - closest family is a 2.5 hour flight and most family is on the East Coast (we are in Texas). Other than wishing we had grandparents around to lessen the burden sometimes, it never dawned on me that we were missing out on a cousin's birthday party. If anything, I am thrilled we don't have to go to such events.

Weekends are filled with various lessons, playdates with friends, going out for meals/to the park/to the pool as a family of 4, birthday parties, etc.