Redshirting question

[Anonymous]

August birthday twin boys. We are considering putting them in private, play-based K the year they turn 5, then decide the next fall whether to put them in public K or public 1st. (Basically a way to kick the can down the road another year). Has anyone done this? What should I be considering?

[Anonymous]

My son's birthday is in August. He'd turned 5 a few minutes before kindergarten started. Although he was very shy, he did just fine and wound up skipping first grade.

[Anonymous]

August isn't too bad. If it was mid to late September I would say MAYBE hold back. I'm a late September kid, 28th to be exact and I remember it being a little hard when I was in kinder and 1st grade but by 4th/5th grade everything felt pretty even. I feel like kids eventually all catch up to each other.

But go with what feels right for you and your family.

[Anonymous]

I have an August birthday boy and that’s what I’m doing. He’ll do the Kindergarten transition class at his preschool (half days 5 days a week) and then go to public K a week after he turns 6. My friend did this with her June birthday boy at a different preschool (also half days 5 days a week) and he just finished public K and did quite well. There are some full day private K programs, but at that point I’d probably just send my kid to public and hope for the best. Some kids are ready for full day K as soon as they turn 5, and some aren’t.

[Anonymous]

I know several people who have done that with late birthdays. Some then moved on to first, others repeated K in public school, but all were happy they’d given themselves the option.

[Anonymous]

For us, one twin does well in school setting but still really needs a nap most days and he is very small for his age (10th percentile), so he would be the smallest of the small if he were also the youngest in his class. The other twin is bigger but with him we worry about an ADHD diagnosis since he is VERY active and has occasionally struggled with the level of structure in his play-based, half-day preschool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For us, one twin does well in school setting but still really needs a nap most days and he is very small for his age (10th percentile), so he would be the smallest of the small if he were also the youngest in his class. The other twin is bigger but with him we worry about an ADHD diagnosis since he is VERY active and has occasionally struggled with the level of structure in his play-based, half-day preschool.

To clarify, this is OP and I just thought this info might help others give advice or ideas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:August isn't too bad. If it was mid to late September I would say MAYBE hold back. I'm a late September kid, 28th to be exact and I remember it being a little hard when I was in kinder and 1st grade but by 4th/5th grade everything felt pretty even. I feel like kids eventually all catch up to each other.

But go with what feels right for you and your family.

Unless you’re under ten, your kindergarten was nothing like today’s K.

If you are even wondering, hold them back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:August isn't too bad. If it was mid to late September I would say MAYBE hold back. I'm a late September kid, 28th to be exact and I remember it being a little hard when I was in kinder and 1st grade but by 4th/5th grade everything felt pretty even. I feel like kids eventually all catch up to each other.

But go with what feels right for you and your family.

Unless you’re under ten, your kindergarten was nothing like today’s K.

If you are even wondering, hold them back.

Agree.
But, your idea of reevaluating next year after a year is a good one. From what you said about your twins, it sounds like a good idea. However, they ARE still 4 and they should not be expected to be settled in at this point. A lot can change in a year.

I taught K and 1. If I were you, I'd err on the side of taking it slow. There are exceptions to every rule, but if it's not clear, hold them back. They will only be a month older than the others next year. And, twins adds a whole different dynamic.
Were they premature? If so, you can look at it that way.

[Anonymous]

I would send them to 1st. I regret holding my child back and we had to skip a grade to make up for it.

[Anonymous]

What I always tell parents is to set up an appt. at your local middle school and talk to the counselor(s) there. How are those younger kids doing as puberty hits?

August is on the line. But, with twins, unless genetics say and show that the kids are both going to be big, and advanced scholastically, there is zero reason to push ahead.

From your updates -- it would seem to be a no brainer to say: hold back. Again, what happens between first and second grade academically is of little importance. What happens in middle school and high school -- much bigger deal.

Now -- one proviso -- we held our daughter back for 2 years of kindergarten. That decision set off a little trend of kids from the group to also hold back (obviously they were already considering it -- we just like to say we must have started it. Still it is easier if more than one.) Anyway, one of the group went ahead to 1st grade and then repeated that with our group. One other girl coming from a neighboring district decided to repeat 2nd grade. In discussion things in retrospect -- we all think that it would have been better to just say, in advance, we are going to repeat 1st grade rather than kindergarten. Repeating first grade would have focused a bit more on reading in particular than kindergarten which was largely socialization.

Of that group of 6 heldback girls -- 3 played college soccer for 4 years, 1 is an RN now, 2 are in med school, 1 in law school, mine is in grad school now, and 1 just got her CPA. So far so good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I always tell parents is to set up an appt. at your local middle school and talk to the counselor(s) there. How are those younger kids doing as puberty hits?

August is on the line. But, with twins, unless genetics say and show that the kids are both going to be big, and advanced scholastically, there is zero reason to push ahead.

From your updates -- it would seem to be a no brainer to say: hold back. Again, what happens between first and second grade academically is of little importance. What happens in middle school and high school -- much bigger deal.

Now -- one proviso -- we held our daughter back for 2 years of kindergarten. That decision set off a little trend of kids from the group to also hold back (obviously they were already considering it -- we just like to say we must have started it. Still it is easier if more than one.) Anyway, one of the group went ahead to 1st grade and then repeated that with our group. One other girl coming from a neighboring district decided to repeat 2nd grade. In discussion things in retrospect -- we all think that it would have been better to just say, in advance, we are going to repeat 1st grade rather than kindergarten. Repeating first grade would have focused a bit more on reading in particular than kindergarten which was largely socialization.

Of that group of 6 heldback girls -- 3 played college soccer for 4 years, 1 is an RN now, 2 are in med school, 1 in law school, mine is in grad school now, and 1 just got her CPA. So far so good.

How is that useful? Most teachers push parents to hold kids back and its not about the individual child. Its impossible to guess where a child may be 5-10 years from now. We held our kid back and it was a huge huge mistake. He acted much younger being with younger kids and the academics were painfully slow and he wasn't challenged or happy because it was so so. He skipped a grade and is doing well. Socially it may not be better holding back. Kid are who they are and its a false assumption to think a year back will be better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I always tell parents is to set up an appt. at your local middle school and talk to the counselor(s) there. How are those younger kids doing as puberty hits?

August is on the line. But, with twins, unless genetics say and show that the kids are both going to be big, and advanced scholastically, there is zero reason to push ahead.

From your updates -- it would seem to be a no brainer to say: hold back. Again, what happens between first and second grade academically is of little importance. What happens in middle school and high school -- much bigger deal.

Now -- one proviso -- we held our daughter back for 2 years of kindergarten. That decision set off a little trend of kids from the group to also hold back (obviously they were already considering it -- we just like to say we must have started it. Still it is easier if more than one.) Anyway, one of the group went ahead to 1st grade and then repeated that with our group. One other girl coming from a neighboring district decided to repeat 2nd grade. In discussion things in retrospect -- we all think that it would have been better to just say, in advance, we are going to repeat 1st grade rather than kindergarten. Repeating first grade would have focused a bit more on reading in particular than kindergarten which was largely socialization.

Of that group of 6 heldback girls -- 3 played college soccer for 4 years, 1 is an RN now, 2 are in med school, 1 in law school, mine is in grad school now, and 1 just got her CPA. So far so good.

n


According on Pp’s logic, these kids are from an era so long ago that their experience doesn’t not apply to today’s kindergarten or first grade experience.

[Anonymous]

I'm a third grade teacher. I put my own late-birthday son in on time and he ended up repeating a grade. I was a firm believer in entering when they qualified (age-wise) but have since changed my mind. Most of the time I can identify the youngest students in my class. Every child is different but I don't see a downside to waiting to enter K. A little extra maturity usually allows kids to handle both academics and socialization better. The year will pass before you know it and in my opinion, you'll be glad that you waited.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds like you have a good original plan, that includes kicking the can down the road.