Rude teen girls

[Anonymous]

So my 13 yo daughter came home with a neighbor in tow - this was dinner time and her brother was coming to cook dinner - the friend was in the kitchen with me and DD was chatting with her father. I casually asked the friend "What's she trying to con her Dad into doing" - thinking Chick Fil A, Frozen yougurt etc. I get the cold stare "Ask Her". I almost lost it - I just said "Excuse Me" while she stared me down. They wanted to be taken to a local sports bar obviously this involved boys being there too. It's a nice place, you would take a family. Anyway, I'm having trouble with how to deal with the insanely rude friend. This is a well raised child I guess, I'm hating teen agers.

[Anonymous]

This sounds standoffish, more so than rude.

Your reaction seems over the top. Not every teen is going to want to chat with you and make small talk.

[Anonymous]

The rude teenage daughters are just like their rude mothers. Welcome to Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

I do not tolerate rudeness. I can honestly say my teens are incredibly polite and socially aware. Their grades may be average but they do well with social graces. Bethesda mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not tolerate rudeness. I can honestly say my teens are incredibly polite and socially aware. Their grades may be average but they do well with social graces. Bethesda mom.

But what’s your idea of average, Bethesda mom?

[Anonymous]

You were trying to get a girl to rat on her friend, and you're surprised she didn't welcome you into the fold? Get real.

Also, no sports bars are "a nice place."

[Anonymous]

Wonder if those excusing the rude behavior would feel the same way if we were discussing a boy. I suspect not.

Anyhoo, I would call out my own dc for the attitude and also any child speaking to me like that in my home. Come back when your parents teach you some manners.

[Anonymous]

What? I read it twice. Still don’t quite understand, but it seems very minor.

[Anonymous]

What you describe doesn’t sound very rude? Teenagers are awkward, perhaps that’s what was going on.

[Anonymous]

I think the young girl replied 'Ask her' because she was unsure. Can't see much more than that based on the post.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this was anxiety? You might not be on the same wavelength and she did not know what to say.

[Anonymous]

Doesn't seem that rude to me. No teenager is going to rat on their friend trying to "con" (your words) their dad. Like the other pp, this seems minor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What? I read it twice. Still don’t quite understand, but it seems very minor.

I didn't get it either. Is OP saying that the neighbor was rude because she responded to but didn't answer OP's question?

[Anonymous]

I think tone here is the difference between awkward/anxious (she's just 13!) and rude. It's hard to say if this is a perception issue (was she really "staring the OP down?") or that this kid-- anxious or not-- was really being defiant and rude. I will say I could see it either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the young girl replied 'Ask her' because she was unsure. Can't see much more than that based on the post.

This is what I was thinking. Also, when OP described the DD as 'conning' her dad, we as adults know it was a bit tongue in cheek but that might have gone over a teen's head. The teenager friend may have really thought that OP was insulting her DD by talking about her this way and wasn't sure how to handle. Weird interaction, but I wouldn't read too much into it if it were an isolated event.