Advice for parenting non-binary daughter

[Anonymous]

My 11 year old daughter has issues with anxiety. She recently told her Dad that she thinks she may be a boy, and that she is attracted to girls as well as boys. I have told her that she was made perfect, and that she can love anyone she wants. I also allowed a radical hair cut, and took her shopping for more masculine clothes. What else am I supposed to do? She is only 11.

[Anonymous]

Let her grow out of it. She will.

There is no such thing as non binary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her grow out of it. She will.

There is no such thing as non binary.

Very helpful @@ And completely unscientific.

I would say just keep doing what you are doing. Support her and let her find her identity. Treat her anxiety separately, but treat it.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds to me like you're doing all the right things. Let your child continue to define their gender and sexuality and choose what pronouns they want to use (and let this change as often as she/he/they want!) and it should be fine. I'm so glad you're supporting your kid in figuring out who they are. <3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds to me like you're doing all the right things. Let your child continue to define their gender and sexuality and choose what pronouns they want to use (and let this change as often as she/he/they want!) and it should be fine. I'm so glad you're supporting your kid in figuring out who they are. <3

+1

[Anonymous]

I would let her make any non-permanent changes that she wants to. Hair, clothing, pronouns, all fine. I would also tell her that adolescence and puberty is an inherently confusing time, and it’s okay if she feels awkward and confused. That’s a totally normal reaction to all the changes she’s experiencing. I would not let her take hormones or bind her chest, and I would monitor and minimize her time online.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs. Experimentation that is not permanent is fine and get s therapist to treat the anxiety. Let things play out as they will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let her grow out of it. She will.

There is no such thing as non binary.

Yeah, these are very likely ideas someone has put into her head in middle school. It will likely pass. You're doing the right thing. Maybe get the anxiety treated with medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the PPs. Experimentation that is not permanent is fine and get s therapist to treat the anxiety. Let things play out as they will.

I’d be cautious in selecting a therapist. Some will go straight to gender affirmation and steer her to hormones. Choose carefully and vet them thoroughly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let her make any non-permanent changes that she wants to. Hair, clothing, pronouns, all fine. I would also tell her that adolescence and puberty is an inherently confusing time, and it’s okay if she feels awkward and confused. That’s a totally normal reaction to all the changes she’s experiencing. I would not let her take hormones or bind her chest, and I would monitor and minimize her time online.

Binding is non-permanent and can be done safely, especially with the parents' support. That being said, I would leave these topics alone until the child brings them up and realistically discuss the potential side effects and stress binding safely is the child decides that's something they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let her grow out of it. She will.

There is no such thing as non binary.

Very helpful @@ And completely unscientific.

I would say just keep doing what you are doing. Support her and let her find her identity. Treat her anxiety separately, but treat it.

I'd like to see the science, please.

As I know a thing or two about biology.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to stop being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her to stop being ridiculous.

This. And stop allowing it.