Co worker judges me for living with boyfriend and not having kids or being married

[Anonymous]

I’m 25 and live with my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 4 years. My co worker is 32 and lives with her husband and 2 kids. When we first started working she would refer to her partner as her “husband.” Later on, I found out they weren’t legally married or had a wedding either. She said that he just gave her a promise ring and that they don’t see the need to get legally married or have a wedding. She told me that when she was 23 she gave him an ultimatum of they move in together and settle down or she would break up with him because she wanted to start a family. She ended up getting pregnant shortly after and they moved out and started their family. Now her oldest child is 9.

Well, she judges me for living with my boyfriend unmarried and no children. I don’t know why it bothers her so much. Like I said she claims that THEY don’t want to get married. But it might seem to me that in reality she’s trying to cover up that HE might not want to. Anyway, she basically called me a concubine, whore, slut for giving my bf sex and he doesn’t put a ring on it. She thinks I should have a child because “ every woman should experience having a child.” I know for certain that I don’t want to have children now or ever, maybe I’ll change my mind). But I would like to get married. Again, she always throws out little comments that me me feel bad. She thinks her relationship is perfect I guess and I’m confused why they actually haven’t even had a ceremony or something since she doesn’t care about getting legally married.

Anyway, just venting I guess!

[Anonymous]

Ok. Anyways...

[Anonymous]

Don’t talk about your personal life to this coworker (or really any coworker you’re not a friend to outside of work). If she makes a comment about your living situation, don’t respond. Keep everything professional with her.
And live your best life.

[Anonymous]

Stay away from her! Anyone who calls you a whore or a slut for living with your BF is sick especially given her own situation.

[Anonymous]

I don’t talk to her about my personal life. I once mentioned I had no kids since we work with kids. Another time I mentioned something and said “bf” and she continued the conversation from there. Now anytime my personal life comes up, I change the subject

[Anonymous]

Don’t just change the topic - end the conversations with her altogether. Keep things professional and distant. If she tries to engage in a non-work related conversation, just say you need to get back to work and end it. It may make things awkward at first but no more awkward than being called a whore at work.

[Anonymous]

Tell her to mind her own beeswax.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care what her opinion is?

[Anonymous]

Judgement: you are BOTH no-account tramps living in sin.

[Anonymous]

She has real issues. Just bless her little heart...

[Anonymous]

With the co-worker she likely went on the offensive because she doesn’t want to be on the defensive. Someone happy with her own life would not need to be so involved in your life.

I think the separate issue is you making your own decisions regarding if marriage is right for you with the current BF and if you and your significant other agree with kids/no kids. Only two people are in that relationship and your co-worker isn’t one of them or gets a voice unless you have a polyamorous thing going on.

[Anonymous]

She deserves your pity, because she’s so stupid.

Stop sharing info with her please.

[Anonymous]

"Co workers" do not normally talk about things this personal. Op, it's not professional. Up-your-game and be more of a professional.

[Anonymous]

If she starts down that path, which hopefully you won't give her an opportunity to, just stare at her blankly and then change the subject.

[Anonymous]

If a coworker calls you a slut or whore, you need to speak with HR and your supervisor.