4yr old does not play with other kids

[Anonymous]

When my son was 2 he always seemed to be in his own world and everyone told me he’d grow out of it but now he is 4 and he likes kids but as no idea how to play with them despite going preschool full time. We tried tball and he just sat underneath a tree and talked to himself. His preschool teacher report that he plays by himself a lot but is not upset by it at all. They are encouraging him to join in play but he just isn’t sure what he is supposed to do even with direction. It’s kind of strange, he talks a lot but it’s never really to anyone. He will come to tell you something, say 2 words and then finish his story far away where you can’t even hear him. There isn’t really a back and forth type of conversation or eye contact when talking to us. He does tell us about kids that he likes at school. Academically he is doing well, but socially he just seems sooo immature. I’m worried he isn’t going to catch up socially by kindergarten.

[Anonymous]

Please get him evaluated for autism! My 4 year old was like this, and just got an HFA diagnosis at 7 years old. I do wish I had started direct social skills interventions earlier -- although 4 is still young to really be taught social skills, he could be taught how to join in and play, and that may really benefit him.

[Anonymous]

Not to scare you, but this exact behavior was the first sign that my child is autistic (she was diagnosed when she was 5). Lack of social reciprocity is a key sign. With intervention, including social skills groups and a thoughtful approach to school, she is doing OK now (in middle school). You may want to talk to a psychologist about getting evaluated. I recommend David Black at CAAT. He will talk to you on the phone for free to discuss if he thinks further evaluation is necessary. https://caatonline.com

[Anonymous]

Chiming in to agree with others. We were fixated on a language delay and assumed he was intimidated to play with others, but now we think he doesn’t know how. He has a level 2 ASD diagnosis. He’s four and we are excited to start some social skills classes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to scare you, but this exact behavior was the first sign that my child is autistic (she was diagnosed when she was 5). Lack of social reciprocity is a key sign. With intervention, including social skills groups and a thoughtful approach to school, she is doing OK now (in middle school). You may want to talk to a psychologist about getting evaluated. I recommend David Black at CAAT. He will talk to you on the phone for free to discuss if he thinks further evaluation is necessary. https://caatonline.com

If you post on the Special Needs board, people can give you more advice on the evaluation. I would opt for getting screened ASAP by the county/city for services while you are on waitlists at a place like KKI or Childrens. In my opinion, the ideal therapy would be someone who pushes in to the preschool class to facilitate play, but I've never been able to quite identify who would do that kind of work.

[Anonymous]

The school should have alerted you to the fact that your child needs to be tested. Make an immediate appointment for your pediatrician and get him into your district’s summer clinic evaluation schedule. Don’t wait.

[Anonymous]

I hate to pile on, but this does sounds like some huge red flags for higher functioning autism. DS17, who just graduated from HS (!), talked a ton at a very sophisticated level at that age. But he rarely seemed to even understand what he was supposed to do with his peers and either played alone, sat and talked about advanced topics with a teacher, or had a meltdown. The meltdowns got more frequent as he got older and the expectations were greater. There are so many things they can do for this -- social skills groups, behavior therapy (which can help him understand how to interact appropriately with others), speech therapy for pragmatic speech, OT if he has sensory issues, etc. etc. They work all that much better when the kiddo is diagnosed younger.

Now DC still has a lot of trouble relating to new people, but has some close friends and is making progress. He has a part-time job this summer and fingers crossed that he will be able to remember to be social when he needs to be!

Good luck -- therapy really works, I promise!

[Anonymous]

Please push for him to see a developmental pediatrician. My friend's ds was not dxed (although she was concerned and had mentioned autism to her ped before and her concerns were dismissed) until his kinder teacher told her she needed to get him evaluated for autism. There are a lot of therapies that will help your ds learn social skills if he does have autism, but it will be easier for him if you do it sooner rather than later.
GL

[Anonymous]

Following, please share where to look for & how to get social skill group & intervention for young kid?

I have a almost 4 year old sweet & friendly boy that loves to interact with kids, seem like a social butterfly, but has awkward social skills. He is dx of autism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Following, please share where to look for & how to get social skill group & intervention for young kid?

I have a almost 4 year old sweet & friendly boy that loves to interact with kids, seem like a social butterfly, but has awkward social skills. He is dx of autism.

I don't live in DC metro area. In my area, you find these things through networking with other parents of children with autism via a facebook parents' group or through a local nonprofit that has both a parents group and has people who help connect families of children with autism with the resources they need. GL