Narcissistic dh

[Anonymous]

Venting... I had a conversation with my DH Yesterday about my DS. soccer practice. He asked if I watched and I said no, I dropped him off and went to gym. He then told me he loves to watch. I said I find it strange that a parent stays for practice and his words were @ they love me, I was a special forces guy in the military and all men love that! Really? Fast forward to this evening, we were at a fish fry. My 3 kids were very hungry. I notice all the fish was ready so we got in line. My husband was on taco #3. The cooked fish was running out (more cooking) . DH in front of us making his 3rd taco with last of cook fish. I asked if our kids could have that fish so they could eat. Nope. They can wait for next batch! I am very over this selfish SOB

[Anonymous]

You find it strange a parent stays for practice?

I don't know if your husband is narcissistic or not. It sounds like he doesn't have a child is center of universe /life must cater to child mentality but that doesn't mean he is a narcissist.

He sounds selfish but who knows what really happened.

[Anonymous]

Why didn’t you get them fish from the first batch? Why didn’t you and the kids get in line with him when he went for round one?

I don’t know if he’s narcissistic but he seems full of himself. A lot of parents stay for practice though, and he’s probably good at entertaining with his special forces stories, so he might use it as time to socialize. Nothing wrong with having Dad friends from your kids’ soccer team. Also nothing wrong with doing drop off at practice so you can go to the gym. That simple fact doesn’t make him any more narcissistic than it makes you neglectful.

My takeaway is that DH is full of himself, and OP is judgmental. We all have flaws.

[Anonymous]

IVe never been to a fish fry. Is this a common thing?

[Anonymous]

Is it possible he doesn’t read social cues well? How do people usually respond to him — colleagues, neighbors, etc.?

[Anonymous]

Sounds more plain old selfish and inconsiderate than narcissistic. Narcissism is a personality disorder with self-image issues and manipulation of others. Bad behaviors are usually more drastic than making the kids wait on a meal.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm "they love me", in his mind. All the world is his stage, am I right OP? Practice is less about his kid and more about the stage.

One of my best guy friends is like this (not the fish part, he is a selfless dad).

[Anonymous]

He's not narcissistic. He's just a typical selfish person whose priorities didn't change with kids. My mom and dad would give me the last piece of whatever on their plate if I asked for it. I would too for my little kid. It probably wouldn't occur to your dh to look out for his kid and spouse before himself. He was just never taught.

[Anonymous]

In traditional households, the children are last in line for food. There are legitimate survival reasons for that behavior.

[Anonymous]

My DH used to never ever notice the kids might want lunch at the same time he did. I mean, he'd make himself a sandwich and not ask if anybody else wanted anything. Ever. I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose, just clueless. Annoying AF, though.

The staying for soccer practice, now, that is way out of line. I mean, how DARE he be interested in watching his kid play, and interact with other kids, learn to take directions gracefully, interact with other adults? It's almost obscene that your DH wants to watch them play!

[Anonymous]

Self centered at best

[Anonymous]

There is a name for your husband, Richard Skull...

Dick Head!

[Anonymous]

OP's husband could be a narcissist. The comment about practice was "What you do is the wrong thing. I do the right thing." My abusive narcissistic XJ does this all the time. Is trying to tell my 6 year old DD all the things I do and want to do are wrong.

[Anonymous]

I some families the kids arent the center of attention. Sounds like your husband just put himself first. I honestly wish I would do that more. I doubt your kids were starving or would die from starvation while waiting for fish.

[Anonymous]

You both sound selfish. Depending on the ages of your kids, yes you stay for practice. Coaches are not babysitters.