Timing of major transitions (moves, babies, etc)
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Anonymous
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We're looking to buy a house and move in the next year, before DD starts K in 2020. As many of you know, inventory is low, and we've had a couple offers not work out, so it is taking some time. The latest wrinkle is that I'm having a baby this fall!
Obviously for selfish reasons, I'd prefer to move before the birth - both because moving with babies is hard and because we'd be moving for commute and space related reasons. But I'm starting to worry that moving DD from her home and the day care she's gone to for 3 years with the same primary teacher AND adding a sibling is just too much for her to adjust to in a short span of time. That's changing everything big at once. What is the latest you'd consider moving and changing childcare before the birth of a sibling? Is two months even enough? Trying to figure out what point we drop out of the market for this year. Has anyone else been through this and had it work out well or badly for their DC? |
Anonymous
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I would keep looking for a house until you find one. Move before kindergarten.
I find some people never find what they want because they can’t afford what they want. We have a friend who has been looking for the past 7 years. I don’t think they will ever move. They want a nice single family home in a good school district with short commute. They won’t settle for an old house or a townhouse and a long commute is out. |
Anonymous
I'm honestly a little afraid this is my DH, but that's another issue. We would love to move before kindergarten, but would you avoid doing that e.g. a month before the birth of #2? Up to 6 months after? Etc. What's the buffer we need for kid #1 to have time to deal with change? I never moved as a kid and didn't go to day care, so I have no frame of reference here. |
Anonymous
| DD1 changed daycare (home to center) in August, new baby in December, home renovation that included moving her room in February. Each of those transitions required a little extra care and some regressions along the way, but we recognized she was living through major changes in her world and adjusted for it. I would move when you find the right home and do what you can to support the transitions, but don't delay because of them. |
Anonymous
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We tried to time our transitions at least 6 months apart. So I weaned her off the pacifier and then around 6 months later we changed houses/preschools and then I waited till about six months after that to potty-train. But that's not a hard and fast rule, and we probably could have done things closer together.
Babies are small, so if you have to live in your current place with a baby for a few months or whatever until you find the new place, I wouldn't worry too much about that. |
Anonymous
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What is your current living situation and how long are you willing to stay in it?
We are casually looking at what's out there, but we can stay in our townhouse that we own in an excellent location indefinitely. We aren't going to move unless it's something we really want that is a clear step up. As for your question about transitions - it's going to be a little rough for your older child to have a lot of life changes all at once, but if that's how it works out she will be fine. The most important thing in her life - her parents! - will be the same. Also it's generally pretty easy to sell a 4 year old on new and exciting things. |
Anonymous
| I'd move when you find the house you love. Kids are very resilient. It's more important in my opinion to get the house that's right of you in the long term than to worry about the short term. You'll be in the house for years - snatch it if the right one comes up and deal with the logistics later. I moved with a six month old and adopted a brand new wild puppy in the same two week span. Chaos at the time, obviously not ideal - but we all managed and we love the house six years later. |