When can the kids swim without me watching them?

[Anonymous]

We have a pool. They know how to swim. They are 9 and 11. I still watch them, every time, though not as carefully as years ago. When could I let them go out without me?

[Anonymous]

Never. No one, even an adult, should swim alone.

[Anonymous]

NP. Ok then, change the question to “swim with each other” or “swim with a friend” without a parent directly watching. I am going to say 16 if a parent is home and the friends’ parents are ok with it. 18 if you’re not home and limited to a small number of friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. Ok then, change the question to “swim with each other” or “swim with a friend” without a parent directly watching. I am going to say 16 if a parent is home and the friends’ parents are ok with it. 18 if you’re not home and limited to a small number of friends.

Really? You'd actually sit there and watch two 15 year old's swimming?

[Anonymous]

I say now. By the time I was 10 my parents left me on my own to swim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a pool. They know how to swim. They are 9 and 11. I still watch them, every time, though not as carefully as years ago. When could I let them go out without me?

In a pool without a lifeguard? I would say when the older one gets his/her lifeguard certificate and they are together.

[Anonymous]

Poster you are replying too. Honestly it depends. If it were my teen daughter with a friend from swim team, I’d be close by and check every once in awhile. If my son, who tends to be less responsible and impulsive, with a friend, I would stay closer. Not saying I wouldn’t feel safe running inside briefly but would stay close to the pool. (Does not apply to all daughters and sons, just mine.)
So I just gave the most conservative answer since all we know about OP’s kids and they “know how to swim”.

[Anonymous]

Once one of them is lifeguard certified. At least then one kid will have learned about the various things that can go wrong when swimming and tap down some of the dangerous, but fun to kids, fooling around in the pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. Ok then, change the question to “swim with each other” or “swim with a friend” without a parent directly watching. I am going to say 16 if a parent is home and the friends’ parents are ok with it. 18 if you’re not home and limited to a small number of friends.

Really? You'd actually sit there and watch two 15 year old's swimming?

I'm not that poster, but we have a backyard pool and while I don't sit on the deck and watch my 15 yo DS and friends the entire time like a hawk, I do keep an eye out. I look out windows to make sure no one is doing anything dangerous. I will open the sliding door and yell out there and tell them to cut it out. I also count heads. Something I think I'll do until my kids are 35.

My DD is 12 and sometimes I'll hang outside closer to her (and her friends), other times I sit at the kitchen table where I can still have a direct sight line to the pool, but I'm not as intrusive on their fun.

To further mortify my kids, before they get in the pool with friends, I go over the rules with them. I take pool safety VERY seriously.

[Anonymous]

I was 21 and a lifeguard and still not allowed to watch my 19 and 17 year old siblings swim. At our lake, where we had all been able to swim as soon as we could walk.

Drowning is silent and happens in less than 60 seconds. I was probably qualified as a lifeguard at 21, but definitely not before 18 and with training.

What good does watching do if you won't do what to do when something goes wrong? A drowning person doesn't need an audience - they need a lifeguard. 911 will take too long.

[Anonymous]

God, no, OP, watch your kids!!!

Imagine if the 9 year old gets a leg cramp and can’t swim, and struggles and slips under. SECONDS go by. That’s all it takes.

Do you want the other child to bear the weight of his/her siblings life????

And if you have a friend over, you better be watching. ALL THE TIME.

Please, OP.

[Anonymous]

Our parents wouldn’t let us go in water without an adult watching until we were 16 - and we were all in swim team. We just had to sit there and wait until someone showed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, no, OP, watch your kids!!!

Imagine if the 9 year old gets a leg cramp and can’t swim, and struggles and slips under. SECONDS go by. That’s all it takes.

Do you want the other child to bear the weight of his/her siblings life????

And if you have a friend over, you better be watching. ALL THE TIME.

Please, OP.

Well, to be fair, you dont die by drowning as quick as in "the prestige". I mean, they can empty you out and get air in you. But once fresh oxygenated blood stops arriving at your brain.....bye.

The lazy parent asking this question no doubt accounts for why between 3 and 4 THOUSAND people die every year in drownings. More than many so-called rare childhood diseases that people love to go out and raise money for and put up ribbon magnets. Just dont let your kids drown and we can save thousands without one drop of "medical research". sigh.

[Anonymous]

No you cannot let them swim alone. Perhaps in seven years. I was on swim team and almost drowned at about 12 at our club pool with lifeguards standing by. I got my finger caught in a grate at the bottom of the deep end. I also helped save a kid about 9 from drowning just because he panicked after falling out of a canoe, not because he couldn't swim, he just got hysterical. Everything can change in 10 seconds in the water. Either drain the pool or watch the kids. If you haven't done lifeguard training think about that too.

[Anonymous]

My parents let us swim in pairs of good swimmers from 10 onwards. Honestly, that seems reasonable to me if you're talking about a home pool that the kids are familiar with. I would actually be very curious how many 10+ year olds w/ basic swimming ability die in swimming pools every year in the US. I bet it's very very few.