Switching teams without burning bridges

[Anonymous]

I’m switching my child to a new team. We decided to leave for various reasons, but mostly because the coach had poor communication, called in substitute coaches often and the team in general has management issues. Regardless of these issues, my child had a great year and was successful. I don’t think that current team will even care that we are leaving, but I would love to give my feedback in a productive way. I truly don’t even think anyone in management was really aware how often the coach was late or called in for a sub. I’m nervous about giving too much feedback because I don’t want to burn any bridges just in case the new team is too intense for my child and we’d need to go back. Although I’m hoping it won’t come up that. How would you handle productive end of year feedback without going overboard? Thx.

[Anonymous]

What sport? I think that matters.

[Anonymous]

A fish rots from the head down. If it is a good team, the management will contact you to get feedback why you are leaving.
If nobody contacts you, it means they are perfectly aware what’s going on, or that coach already made his case against you.
You can refer to your work schedule, or conflicts with school schedule. This leaves the door half open for future come back to
next level at the same team, if you want to avoid your athlete working with the current coach.

[Anonymous]

When DS switched teams due to crappy coaching, I didn't say anything to the old team other than "my son had a wonderful time with your team but has decided to move on". Nothing changed on that old team, as far as I know, even though a bunch of other kids left it, and that leads me to conclude that upper management doesn't care.

[Anonymous]

We switched several times. Once it was a relatively successful “come back” into the old team. It takes couple years at least
for any new coach to get results. If you decided to switch, better not to consider it as something temporary, if you want progress

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn’t you just switch and be done with it? What possible reason do you have to “give feedback”? You just want to b-tch about the coach. I hope you give lots and lots of feedback OP and then you get the reputation you deserve.

[Anonymous]

If you want to switch without burning bridges, indeed, then giving a “constructive feedback” is just the opposite you want to do. Instead, you need to thank the coaches for the great job and tell that your child had a great year. Tell them that your work schedule doesn’t allow to continue for another year, but your son really liked the team and would be interested in coming back, when your schedule allows. Maybe talk with the coach about performance expectations in 1-2 years from now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you want to switch without burning bridges, indeed, then giving a “constructive feedback” is just the opposite you want to do. Instead, you need to thank the coaches for the great job and tell that your child had a great year. Tell them that your work schedule doesn’t allow to continue for another year, but your son really liked the team and would be interested in coming back, when your schedule allows. Maybe talk with the coach about performance expectations in 1-2 years from now.

+1

More people switch than you know.

All the clubs around town have transplants (soccer is my frame of reference). A wise coach will just wish you well. The parents truly don't matter. If they are your friends, the friendships will last. If not, it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

All you have to say is that "my son is looking for a more intense experience and the new team does more tournaments" or whatever you want to say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to switch without burning bridges, indeed, then giving a “constructive feedback” is just the opposite you want to do. Instead, you need to thank the coaches for the great job and tell that your child had a great year. Tell them that your work schedule doesn’t allow to continue for another year, but your son really liked the team and would be interested in coming back, when your schedule allows. Maybe talk with the coach about performance expectations in 1-2 years from now.

+1

More people switch than you know.

All the clubs around town have transplants (soccer is my frame of reference). A wise coach will just wish you well. The parents truly don't matter. If they are your friends, the friendships will last. If not, it doesn't matter.

What is “transplants”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you want to switch without burning bridges, indeed, then giving a “constructive feedback” is just the opposite you want to do. Instead, you need to thank the coaches for the great job and tell that your child had a great year. Tell them that your work schedule doesn’t allow to continue for another year, but your son really liked the team and would be interested in coming back, when your schedule allows. Maybe talk with the coach about performance expectations in 1-2 years from now.

+1

More people switch than you know.

All the clubs around town have transplants (soccer is my frame of reference). A wise coach will just wish you well. The parents truly don't matter. If they are your friends, the friendships will last. If not, it doesn't matter.

What is “transplants”?

I just mean kids who are playing in clubs that are not their original one from their home town -- for example, Arlington kids on Alexandria or CFC. DC kids on Arlington...

[Anonymous]

No one cares, OP.

[Anonymous]

We’ve been in your situation and I’d agree with PPs that you should just let bygones be bygones, and move on. Even if you give feedback it’s unlikely anything will change.

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately I agree with PPs that nothing will change with feedback.

It's a shame that parents are afraid to speak directly with clubs about coach performance -- if they did, then teams would be much less likely to fold, and coaches could get the mentoring that they need to succeed, But, because kids don't want to risk losing playing time (that's why we never spoke to clubs about chronically late, high, absent or abrasive coaches), they don't say anything until the decision is already made to change teams.

In my experience (my frame of reference is AAU basketball), many good players are being recruited throughout the season (i.e. "hey, why don't you come do a workout with us?", "if this doesn't work out, then come see us") so leaving for greener pastures is really common. This means that poorly coached teams tend to fold, often mid-season.