Older moms - anyone worried that you will have special needs child?

[Anonymous]

I am so terrified that if I pursue child #2, it will be a special needs child. Even with an amnio and good prenatal care, I still worry. I have been belssed with a wonderful and healthy baby already and I fear tempting fate, esp. since I am 43. I will most likely need fertility treatment this time around and was wondering if this helps in anyway to identify healthy eggs. Besides downs syndorme, are there other age related issues that I need to be aware of? Google searches only bring up downs and an amnio screens for this.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I am very scared. I m 41 pursuing fertility treatments right now. I got pregnant in May 2008, without assistance, and it turned out that the baby had anencephaly and we had to terminate. I haven't been able to get pregnant since. I've thought a lot about all the potential perils and I'm still pursuing it. When you look at the statistics overall, you still have a really high chance, like 97% of having a perfectly healthy child. Yes, the chances are higher for older moms, but they aren't as awful as what we are made to believe in the greater scheme of things. We have a skewed view, IMO, because we only hear of the bad stuff.

I know all of this and yet I know that when I get pregnant I will have a difficult time until I can get the CVS and even after that.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I worry about it all the time, and that is the primary reason why we probably won't pursue a third child. I am 42 and had no trouble conceiving our other children (at 34 and 37), and I would like a third child, but I am not a risk-taker. It's things like autism (known to correlate with a higher paternal age) that terrify me--the sorts of things that can't be detected in CVS or amnio.

[Anonymous]

I ws but had two healthy kids at age 39 and 42 - had CVS with both. After that_ i felt good and we were blessed with healthy kids..

[Anonymous]

OP: yes, I know exactly how you feel. But one of the previous posters is right; lots of women in their 40s have healthy babies. If you search, you can find other threads where moms in their 40s talk about their positive experiences. I try to read those and have hope.

[Anonymous]

I'm terrified as well. I actually never wanted to have kids after 35, but didn't meet DH until I was 34, so that didn't work out for me. : )
I had DC #1 at 38, and I'm about to turn 40. We've decided to go for it and have been TTC #2 for 4 months. I think this time around (if we're able to get pg) I will go for either a CVS or Amnio, which I didn't the first time around.

[Anonymous]

ditto. DH and I would not be trying if both of us were not willing to do a CVS/amnio and terminate if necessary.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't worry because of my age - I will do a CVS, and I am far healthier and more careful during pregnancy than the average American woman so it is unlikely I would develop any serious conditions. But there is a small part of me that worries about CP or other birth injuries, and that we are tempting fate by pursuing a second child when we have one healthy child, although those things can happen to anyone.