Unfair treatment in the class

[Anonymous]

My 8 year old notices that his teacher favors one kid over others. He dislike her because of this. He has brought this subject up to the teacher but the teacher tells him no, she is still calling on random kids. But, my son insist she can end up calling one particular kid like 5 times in a day and the others are not being called on. My child also says another boy has complained out loud and now the teacher took his points(reward) away. Now, my son doesn't want his rewards taken away so can't even verbalize what he sees as unfair in the classroom so he comes home and tells me. And it was more of a complaint last week when it was teacher appreciation week and he said he didn't appreciate her ignoring him and other kids.

What to do? Any advice? So far, i just told him to hang in there, it's just another 4 weeks. But, what happens if the teacher is similar in the next grade.

[Anonymous]

It's May- I agree to just tell your son to deal with it. It is probably perceived regardless and certainly not worth bringing up at this point with no proof.

[Anonymous]

Good lord. Don't do anything about this at all. Just listen to your kid's whining, nod your head, and remind him to behave in class. You have no idea whether or not his perception is accurate, and even if it is he needs to deal with it (without your unnecessary intervention).

[Anonymous]

There is no rule that the teacher has to call on kids evenly. They have their reasons. Sometimes they call on kids who otherwise never volunteer to answer. Maybe your son constantly tries to answer.

Regardless, you can’t control this, not now and not next year. You are also relying on the perceptions of a child.

[Anonymous]

Teachers can not always be "corrected" by a student. He will have many teachers who will not take kindly to being corrected by your son. Whether he's right or wrong. Not so bad that he is learning this now.

As a parent, going forward, choose YOUR battles carefully on this.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I would ask for examples. Chances are very good that this is perception, not what is actually happening...but you never know.
When you get to the bottom of it ask him how he would like to handle it- remind him that it is May so letting it go should be an option.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your advice too.

The favoritism question is thorny and impossible to settle without significantly more information. The teacher's wait time skills may be weak (you can look up the phrase). Wait time was conceived to increase the thinking level of student discussions but one of its positive side effects is to address teacher bias.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the teacher calls on this kid because he raises his hand the most or the fastest. Maybe she calls on the kid because he needs to be drawn out. Maybe she calls on him because he's always prepared, or because he tends to get distracted if he's not being called on. Maybe she calls on all the kids and your son is wrong. Maybe she calls on this kid slightly more often but not egregiously so.

How is this even a problem? Is it hurting your son's grade? His ability to learn the material? Is the teacher refusing to answer his questions or other kids' questions?

This is really a minor problem. Your son is at an age to get fixated on "fair" and "unfair" and to get really upset about things that are perceived as "unfair," but this is not something I would feel the need to intervene about. He raised his concern, the teacher disagreed, it's not a big deal, he needs to let it go. Most teachers aren't interested in kids critiquing their teaching style, so this is a useful lesson to learn. If it's truly affecting his ability to learn, that's one thing, but a vague sense of unfairness doesn't cut it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe the kid has an IEP and needs prompts or the teacher is draw him out of his shell if he is quiet all the time.

[Anonymous]

The teacher might benefit from an equitable calling system like popsicle sticks or a random calling system (I use an app). However, it’s difficult to ignore an enthusiastic and correct student. I had to retrain myself.

[Anonymous]

I’ve learned the hard way:

Children of easy parents = easy targets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good lord. Don't do anything about this at all. Just listen to your kid's whining, nod your head, and remind him to behave in class. You have no idea whether or not his perception is accurate, and even if it is he needs to deal with it (without your unnecessary intervention).

+ 1 million.

OP, life is not fair, and you might want to start imparting this sacral knowledge on your precious snowflake, it will make life so much easier for him down the road. Meanwhile, if you're so concerned, why don't you, an adult, email the teacher, express your dismay about the slight and demand changes?

[Anonymous]

Remind your son he'll have a different teacher next year, and that there are only ____ weeks left in this school year.

[Anonymous]

This is happening to my kid too. It’s not fair, but there are only 22 days of school left.

[Anonymous]

Teachers are human, and can be biased. I wouldn't be surprised if your son is correct. He can't change his teacher but he can change his attitude.