In a groove w 3 yo, how hard will second baby be?
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Anonymous
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I’ve hesitated having a baby because I didn’t love the baby phase and we are in a perfect groove right now as a family. I worked full time, was alone a lot when my DH traveled, and never slept. Anyway, she is almost 3 now and is amazing. I love her so much and we have so much fun as a family, we Have been thinking about having a second.
However, when people say “I don’t know how you do it!”, I really mean it! I’m not sure I could handle newborn, daughter and job plus a life. How hard is the first year?? Does it all get easier in the toddler years? There is no way I could quit my job, we make good income and need to keep it. Thanks 
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Anonymous
| Stick with one and done. |
Anonymous
| It is a huge transition and harder than you imagine. Of course it is worth it as I love my second baby but it truly rocks the whole family’s world. |
Anonymous
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Exponentially harder.
Though, I never felt my family was truly complete until my 2nd one was born. I now have one of each and it just felt right and perfect. Happy that the siblings will have each other even when DH and I are no longer alive. Love both the kids with all my heart. |
Anonymous
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I think the second was easier than the first, for somewhat similar reasons. It took SO long for us to get into a groove with our first, and also we were first time (not too bright) parents. Things came easier to us with our second, and it is amazing to watch our children grow as siblings.
One consideration- by the time you get pregnant and have a potential second baby, your first born might already be in preschool as a 4 year old. That might free up more time to focus on the 2nd baby. |
Anonymous
| OP, cherish your daughter and be one and done. |
Anonymous
| I found the transition really hard too. But it was worth it to me. If your dd is happy as an only... |
Anonymous
Don’t listen to someone on the internet telling you to limit your family size |
Anonymous
Agree ... But chiming in to add, if you really think you want a second kid then do it now. We were one and done, but wavered around age three for the same reasons as you. Decided to wait, and age four was rough. Wavered again at the end of age five (DD just turned six last week) but I feel so much older and the age gap is so big. It's daunting. If we were going to have a second we should have just done it. |
Anonymous
PP here. I said that as somehow who has an incredible, sweet, easy, amazing second child. But OP sounds unsure, and in that case I’d say be one and done. |
Anonymous
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Having two isn't 2X harder than having one, it's 3X.
That being said, I love having two and it's been an amazing adventure. Only have two if your marriage is rock solid. |
Anonymous
| Hi OP- Two is definitely harder bc its double the monotonous tasks on the day to day, but the stuff that was hard with the first is easier with the second. Like by time the second comes along, you as a parent are so much more seasoned etc. The lack of sleep with number 2 and moving from a condo to a house for more space after number 2 was born were the hardest parts. I now have a 6 and 3 yr old... and the hardest part is just them fighting over toys. I love having two and want to have a third but am too nervous since that would mean a third c section and Im getting old at this point (38). |
Anonymous
PP from below- good point about the marriage! |
Anonymous
| ^^ Also I think your spacing would be great bc by the time you have number 2, your first will be more independent and mature. I had my second when my first was 2.5 and it was tough. My friend had her second when her first was 4 and it was a significantly easier time for them. |
Anonymous
| You really cannot predict because you never know what life will throw at you. |