What made you go from scared to having a child to 3+
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Anonymous
| I've noticed that some people are nervous to have children and wait quite a bit to have them (mid thirties) but once they have that first kid, it is like the flood gates open and they end with with 2, 3 or even 4 children in a short time span. I'm curious as someone who is nervous to have children, is it that it is easier than expected? More joyful? Help me understand the leap from initial hesitance to having multiple young children in a short time frame. |
Anonymous
| This was me. I know have 3 kids, all under at 6. I just never expected to enjoy being a mother as much as I do. It's like nothing you've ever experienced, and I love it. I also don't mind chaos, loud voices, a crazy schedule, and having few opportunities for a social life (for this period of my kids' lives, at least). So, it was pretty easy for me to keep going after that first one. But, had you told me when I was 30 and just married that we'd end up with 3, I would have thought you were crazy. |
Anonymous
| I had my first in my late thirties (didn't get married til 36), and we have three now. I love people, and don't mind noise and chaos. I actually was surprised that I really wanted more kids but looking back, both my parents are from big families so I should have realized it was something I might want. But until my mid-thirties I was super focused on career, and i thought kids meant no career. Once I had a baby I thought, wow, I wish I had known how much I would want this. I love the early non-verbal phase, I love every phase. Honestly I wish I had started ten years earlier, I would have gone for a fourth! |
Anonymous
| You've described my husband to a tee. He was terrified of having a child as his own childhood was not happy. As soon as we had our first, he had crazy baby fever and wanted #2 right away. Baby #2 is now 6 months and he wants another (I'm thinking no though) - while we were still in the hospital, he was saying how the thought of not having another baby made him sad. He says it's because he didn't understand how much love there would be, how much the love would grow with each kid, and how high the highs would be (even though the lows are also quite low). |
Anonymous
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Triplets.
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Anonymous
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I adamantly did not want children, and then changed my mind reluctantly at age 33. I wasn't excited about having one, but it felt like something I would regret not doing and my spouse wanted to do it. I agreed to have one but no more.
My daughter is now 6 and having her is the best decision I have ever made. It's not easier than I expected (at all) but it's joyful and worthwhile and just enriches my life and the world in ways I didn't expect. I wish I had started having kids younger and picked a different career that was more family-friendly (and maybe picked a different spouse who was more of a responsible adult) so that I could have 2 or 3 or even 4 kids. I am currently 39 and dithering over whether to TTC a second. The dithering is 100% logistics and worries about my health and my marriage, not a lack of desire for kids. I even daydream about twins although I know that's crazy to want for all kinds of reasons. |
Anonymous
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I had pretty much zero interest in having kids during my 20's. And I mean zero. I'd see women out with their screaming, tantruming toddlers and think "Oh, hell no". I actually felt kind of bad for them. I was free to work, go home, go out whenever I wanted - why on earth would I want to drag a kid with me every time I went to the grocery store?
By the time I was in my mid 30's, dh and I had bought a home, had a little money in the bank. We were going to work and coming home and hanging out, doing housework and yard work. It was like everything had been put into place and before you know it we had our first, then 2 1/2 years later our second was born. We were considering a 3rd but decided that our family of 4 felt complete. |
Anonymous
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this is me. i have 3 kids now and everyone who knew me when i was young is in shock. i had my first in my late thirties. some of my friends and relatives tried for years to persuade me to have a child, and now can't believe i have 3.
what happened? it's much easier and more fun than i thought and i can still do most of the things i wanted to do. i also grew sour in respect to some of my interests. |
Anonymous
| Definitely not easier than expected but once we changed our lifestyle to a more kid-centered one, might as well add a couple more. The transition to one child was difficult but subsequent transitions for 1-2 and 2-3 weren’t so bad. |
Anonymous
| You guys are lucky you didn't have infertility problems in your mid 30s. I didn't think I would either because I got pregnant on the first try with my daughter at age 35. Then started TTC #2 when she was 10 months old. Sadly by the time I started TTC I was completely infertile. It's now been 5 years of TTC and I never had a second pregnancy despite infertility treatments. I would have loved to have 2-3 kids. |
Anonymous
| Oops baby |
Anonymous
| I started in my 20s but put simply my expectations and reality didn’t sync up. It was way different than I expected. |
Anonymous
| I wanted zero children and agreed to one pregnancy conceived with no assistance. Our child is the light of our lives and I had absolutely no comprehension how much I would love being my child’s mother. That being said there is no way I am upsetting this apple cart. We are one and done and happy about it. |
Anonymous
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I had zero interest in kids but wasn't actively opposed to them.
I knew DH wanted at least one kid when I married him, so that's why I had one. Everyone made it seem so awful and hard. They never slept! You could never leave the house! Etc etc. But it really wasn't. It was way easier than I expected, and I loved the baby so freaking much. We were nervous about having a second because we were such a happy little family of 3, but then we took the plunge. It's way more chaotic now, but now that I know I can handle two, it's like... why not just keep going? They're so much fun! |
Anonymous
Had this too. Baby #2 divided itself and that was that. 3 total kids. |