How do I stop having nightmares about school shootings?

[Anonymous]

I have a 2.5 year old. She’s in a preschool with excellent security. However, I have nightmares about school shootings 2-3 times a week. I know they’re statistically rare and there’s little I can do to prevent them (beyond supporting pro gun control candidates, which I do) but I still can’t stop being terrified.

How can I stop living like this?

[Anonymous]

Let me know when you figure it out. My work has opportunities overseas and I’m trying to be competitive during prime school years so I can get my kids out of the country.

[Anonymous]

Realize your child has a better chance of dying on a at accident or by lightening than in a school shooting. Hell, the school bus is a far less safe place than the school building.

Also realize that security in schools may be exacerbating your fears. The best prevention is a strong school climate and strong interpersonal relationships

[Anonymous]

*in a car accident

[Anonymous]

I would bet that you worry excessively about other statistically rare things too. If it’s long-standing, hard to control, and interferes in your quality of life, I would look into treatment for anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Get help for your anxiety. The odds of this happening are so low.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would bet that you worry excessively about other statistically rare things too. If it’s long-standing, hard to control, and interferes in your quality of life, I would look into treatment for anxiety.

I don’t actually. This is the only one.

[Anonymous]

I hesitate to post this as I don’t want to exacerbate OP’s fears, and it’s hard to know full stats because things are counted differently in different states, but death by gunshot is actually the second leading cause of death for young people in America. It is not all school shootings, but *some* level of concern here is not inconsistent with the facts.

https://www.cnn.com/2018/12/20/health/child-gun-deaths-rising/index.html

OP, if it is to the point where it is disturbing your sleep I suggest therapy. The usual advice others have shared may not be enough. It’s hard not to worry in general but the media coverage and lack of action on this one make it extra hard. Perhaps volunteering on the issue will give you some comfort, a sense of control and action?

[Anonymous]

Move to another country. We are lost here in the US.

[Anonymous]

Send your kid to private!

[Anonymous]

My kids are in public but yes I agree send them to private if you don’t want to worry. My eldest is graduating and what a relief.

[Anonymous]

The way I’m handling it is by working extra hard to make myself competitive so we can move to Canada. (We’re open to a few other countries too, but Canada is most likely.) DH and I are going to job hunt before kids start school and try to make the move in the next three years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are in public but yes I agree send them to private if you don’t want to worry. My eldest is graduating and what a relief.

Why is private safe?

[Anonymous]

In all seriousness, stop watching the news. 24 hour news is focused on ratings and attracting viewers. They love to focus on horrible things and sensationalize them. I stopped watching the news almost 3 years ago and my anxiety levels decreased substantially, particularly my fear of horrible things happening to my kids. Now I read the news online but I don’t click on things I don’t want to read about. I generally know what happened but don’t know every detail. This approach has changed my life. I highly recommend it.

[Anonymous]

You should educate yourself about risk. But then you might have panic attacks about getting in a car or falling down your own stairs... so perhaps get into mindfulness instead