Social skills groups - let's hope it doesn't get hijacked

[Anonymous]

I'm not the OP from the first social skills group thread but it was clear to me the hijacker of that thread just wouldn't stop. I thought if a new thread were started, we could at least stay on topic. So, I'm quoting an advice seeker from that thread.

Anonymous wrote:This started out as an interesting thread but turned convoluted and contentious - if anyone has any more on-point input I would really like to hear it because I'm considering a social skills group for my non-ASD almost 4 year old. I've talked to Parenting Playgroups about the one they have and am considering one other, but it is perplexing to figure out if it is right for my child. The especially tricky part is that you essentially have to sign up w/o knowing the issues the other children in the group will have.

My son is hesitant in social settings and doesn't seem to do well at really getting himself involved in the play - maybe anxiety, it's not entirely clear. He clearly wants to play with the other kids more than he does, but seems unclear about how to do it. We do playdates (and he goes to preschool), but my thought is that a small group - smaller than his preschool class, but bigger than a one on one playdate -- with some facilitation (unlike a group get together at the park or something with all the moms chatting on the side) might help him bridge the gap. But...I do wonder if I'm going to be doing more harm than good if there are kids in the group with behavioral issues, etc...(my son is not aggressive at all, well-behaved, shares, takes turns, etc...one of the things he needs to learn is how to deal with kids who are less well-behaved, aggressive and so forth, but I'm not sure this group is the right place for that).

Any thoughts??? I'm not sure what else other than a social skills group is the right kind of intervention. I've considered OT, which might be helpful in that I think he has some sensory defensiveness (doesn't like loud settings for example), but OT doesn't seem like it will directly address the situation.

I don't think a social skills group would hurt your DS but it may not get you what you're looking for. It doesn't sound as if you've had your DS evaluated by an OT and it might surprise you how much OT could help him. We do therapy at Children's Therapy Center in Springfield (DC#1) and at Kingstowne Pediatric Occupational Therapy (DC#2) (office are right across the parking lot from Parenting Playgroups). It's really made a big difference for our kids. At about age 4, our DS seemed to develop social anxiety. He clearly wanted to play with other kids but we just couldn't understand why he wouldn't. Our pediatrician suggested we meet with a psychologist and get an OT evaluation. We did and it turns out OT was the way to go because while DS had some anxiety, the root of the anxiety were sensory issues. OT is absolutely the best thing for that. If nothing else, an evaluation would help you get a better understanding of what issues may be lurking and how you could help. I would try that before doing a social skills group. You can take the lessons from OT and apply them at home and on the playground. If you need some more fine tuning, look into a play group. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

(bump) I see the other thread is still hijacked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not the OP from the first social skills group thread but it was clear to me the hijacker of that thread just wouldn't stop. I thought if a new thread were started, we could at least stay on topic. So, I'm quoting an advice seeker from that thread.

Anonymous wrote:This started out as an interesting thread but turned convoluted and contentious - if anyone has any more on-point input I would really like to hear it because I'm considering a social skills group for my non-ASD almost 4 year old. I've talked to Parenting Playgroups about the one they have and am considering one other, but it is perplexing to figure out if it is right for my child. The especially tricky part is that you essentially have to sign up w/o knowing the issues the other children in the group will have.

My son is hesitant in social settings and doesn't seem to do well at really getting himself involved in the play - maybe anxiety, it's not entirely clear. He clearly wants to play with the other kids more than he does, but seems unclear about how to do it. We do playdates (and he goes to preschool), but my thought is that a small group - smaller than his preschool class, but bigger than a one on one playdate -- with some facilitation (unlike a group get together at the park or something with all the moms chatting on the side) might help him bridge the gap. But...I do wonder if I'm going to be doing more harm than good if there are kids in the group with behavioral issues, etc...(my son is not aggressive at all, well-behaved, shares, takes turns, etc...one of the things he needs to learn is how to deal with kids who are less well-behaved, aggressive and so forth, but I'm not sure this group is the right place for that).

Any thoughts??? I'm not sure what else other than a social skills group is the right kind of intervention. I've considered OT, which might be helpful in that I think he has some sensory defensiveness (doesn't like loud settings for example), but OT doesn't seem like it will directly address the situation.

I don't think a social skills group would hurt your DS but it may not get you what you're looking for. It doesn't sound as if you've had your DS evaluated by an OT and it might surprise you how much OT could help him. We do therapy at Children's Therapy Center in Springfield (DC#1) and at Kingstowne Pediatric Occupational Therapy (DC#2) (office are right across the parking lot from Parenting Playgroups). It's really made a big difference for our kids. At about age 4, our DS seemed to develop social anxiety. He clearly wanted to play with other kids but we just couldn't understand why he wouldn't. Our pediatrician suggested we meet with a psychologist and get an OT evaluation. We did and it turns out OT was the way to go because while DS had some anxiety, the root of the anxiety were sensory issues. OT is absolutely the best thing for that. If nothing else, an evaluation would help you get a better understanding of what issues may be lurking and how you could help. I would try that before doing a social skills group. You can take the lessons from OT and apply them at home and on the playground. If you need some more fine tuning, look into a play group. Good luck!

How did you determine that your son's anxiety was sensory-related? What were his particular issues that prevented him from playing with other kids? My son is almost five and plays very well one-on-one and actually does great in his class where he's very comfortable, but has a very hard time in new situations, large family gatherings, b-day parties, etc...and I wondered if OT would help him although he doesn't have apparent sensory issues other than a bit of anxiety in really loud social settings. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

I’m the PP with the kid who had problems inserting himself into play. Starting at about age 4.5, our DS became increasingly reluctant to attend social functions if he didn’t know everyone. It got to the point that he wouldn’t go in a moonbounce at a birthday party if there was a kid in there he didn’t know. It completely baffled us because he’d never had a problem previously and it was getting worse. His distress was very genuine. After one particular, he completely shut down and just sat with his head in his hands. It was incredibly disturbing to me (DH wasn’t there). He was also unable to articulate what was going on with him, only that he didn’t want to do it. He would also “worry” about social events. Again, he was unable to explain why, he just got all worked up. That’s when I consulted the pediatrician who recommend we consult with a psychologist and get an OT evaluation.

A few months before our youngest was diagnosed with an underdeveloped proprioceptive system and gross motor delay. Both boys had scooted on their bottoms rather than crawl and as we learned more about motor planning problems (a sensory issue for them), we thought our oldest should also be checked out. We had no idea at the time the anxiety and the sensory processing were related. They were. I’m not saying in every case they’re related but they were very much related in our case.

The sensory processing problems our oldest has are very subtle and even now, unless you’re a professional, you’re unlikely to notice something is off. As he got older, he was beginning to recognize that motor activities were more difficult for him than other kids. He wasn’t as coordinated, he wasn’t as quick to catch on, he needed more practice, etc. He was noticing that he was different from kids his age and often not as good as his sister who was 18 months younger. He was becoming self-conscious and had lost confidence in himself. That’s why he didn’t want to be in situations where there would be kids he didn’t know and was comfortable with.

We were really lucky in that we saw results almost immediately from OT. There are a lot of reasons why it worked but in some respects it’s like the social skills group. He enjoys the sessions, has learned strategies, has a safe place to practice and someone to help him through the rough spots when needed. DH and I also learned how to help him at home and with interactions with others.

We also learned that DS can get revved up with vestibular and auditory input (another component of sensory processing) and that negatively impact his ability to control himself. He just got too excited and seemed not to hear auditory information and if he did hear it he didn’t seem to be able to process it. That’s why we suspected an auditory processing disorder. The very first session of OT, he was on a swing and was supposed to swing a few times and then fall onto a crash pad. He got so excited that he was unable to count to 10 while swinging. Literally. He couldn’t count and swing at the same time. Something similar happens in crowds. He doesn’t get revved up but he can’t filter all the noise to focus on what’s meaningful. Normal people don’t even think about it. When that happens, he can sometimes cling or want to leave. It’s a mixed bag and actually fascinating to observe when I can detach.

After about 6 months of OT, we began a therapeutic listening program (Vital Sounds). I understand the research is not definitive about it but we’ve seen some very interesting responses. Even my mother commented on it. You can google it to find out more but I believe between it and the OT, our son has been much better at regulating sensory information and himself. Oh – ADHD was diagnosed after the APD was ruled out. It can also be hard to tell if he’s behaving the way he is because of sensory issues, ADHD or just because he’s a 6 year old boy. Sometimes it starts out as one thing and turns into another. You just have to learn as you go. I can’t say enough good things about OT. Hope that helps.

[Anonymous]

I think you should be careful about all these diagnoses because they are OT diagnoses, not medical diagnoses. You may be missing a developmental issue by being sidetracked by OTs. If you can, have your child evaluated by a developmental pediatrician or a psychologist.

Also, for kids with coordination issues or anxiety about physical activity, check out Fitness for Health in Rockville. his is exactly what they work on.

[Anonymous]

to 11:13 - thanks so much - very helpful. I posted on the other thread way at the bottom and someone was kind enough to reply there also...

There is also a chance my child may have an auditory processing problem. How did you go about having the diagnosed? Was it done by the OT?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you should be careful about all these diagnoses because they are OT diagnoses, not medical diagnoses. You may be missing a developmental issue by being sidetracked by OTs. If you can, have your child evaluated by a developmental pediatrician or a psychologist.

Also, for kids with coordination issues or anxiety about physical activity, check out Fitness for Health in Rockville. his is exactly what they work on.

I'm 11:13. ADHD is a medical diagnosis. We receive services from OTs but they aren't able to diagnose auditory processing disorders or ADHD. We've seen the whole range of medical professionals including neurodevelopmental pediatricians, psychologists and ENTs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:to 11:13 - thanks so much - very helpful. I posted on the other thread way at the bottom and someone was kind enough to reply there also...

There is also a chance my child may have an auditory processing problem. How did you go about having the diagnosed? Was it done by the OT?

11:13 again. Our DS was evaluated by a speech pathologist/audiologist. He first tested his hearing to make sure that DS's hearing was within normal limits (it was). He than went through a series of tests, wearing headphones, where he had to raise his hand based on what he heard or did not hear. At first, the tests were very simple - like raise your had every time you heard the word 'dog'. Both ears were tested together, then individually and then with competing noise in the other head phone. It was pretty lengthy and enlightening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:13 again. Our DS was evaluated by a speech pathologist/audiologist. He first tested his hearing to make sure that DS's hearing was within normal limits (it was). He than went through a series of tests, wearing headphones, where he had to raise his hand based on what he heard or did not hear. At first, the tests were very simple - like raise your had every time you heard the word 'dog'. Both ears were tested together, then individually and then with competing noise in the other head phone. It was pretty lengthy and enlightening.

thanks, would you be able to provide his/her name (the speech pathologist/audiologist)? I have found several speech pathologists close by but not any audiologists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
thanks, would you be able to provide his/her name (the speech pathologist/audiologist)? I have found several speech pathologists close by but not any audiologists.

What area are you looking in?

[Anonymous]

i know that ADHD is a medical diagnosis. I was referring to other things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
thanks, would you be able to provide his/her name (the speech pathologist/audiologist)? I have found several speech pathologists close by but not any audiologists.

What area are you looking in?

Preferably somewhere in NOVA, NW, or Bethesda

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:thanks, would you be able to provide his/her name (the speech pathologist/audiologist)? I have found several speech pathologists close by but not any audiologists.

11:13 again. I actually wouldn't recommend the speech pathologist/audiologist we used. I think his evaluation very sound and thorough but his manner during the evaluation went from nice Dr. Jekyll to evil Mr. Hyde then back to nice Dr. Jekyll. He didn't warn me ahead of time what he would be doing and I stopped the evaluation at one point because DS was starting to flood and shut down. He briefly explained what he was doing and why and the evaluation continued but it was a very unpleasant experience for DS and, in hindsight, I wish I had stopped it then. It's been about a year and DS still remembers it negatively. That's like an eon for him. Again, I understand why he did the Mr. Hyde thing but there were also better ways to get there.

[Anonymous]

My DC has sensory processing dysfunction, ADHD, and a mixed receptive and expressive language disorder... which manifests alot as explained above. She does pragmatics sessions once a week at the lab school with one other child and a speech pathologist, as well as private OT for the SPD stuff (though the OT place does have a social skills group as well). I think it has been helpful, though I am all for early intervention!

[Anonymous]

I have an almost 3 year old daughter who has never been evaluated, but she does tend to "not particpate" in play around kids she doesn't know or children that are loud or boisterous. I have yet to find a playgroup for her so if anyone is interested in meeting up occassionally to get the kids together, please email me at [e-mail].