Not doing a real vacation this summer

[Anonymous]

Last summer my kids made vacation absolutely miserable. We spent maybe 4 hours total on the beach the whole week because they whined to leave and preferred to swim in the pool back at the condo. One day they didn’t want to do anything at all and asked to watch tv in their room. By Wednesday of a week booked to Saturday I was ready to say f*ck it and go home. It was so much time and effort and money for nobody to appreciate or enjoy any of it.

This year I think I’ve decided not to do a big vacation. We will still do little day trips and excursions but I’m not feeling up for putting down thousands of dollars and traveling for hours so my kids can tell me they want to swim in the pool which we can do at home. A little worried my husband and I might feel burnt out from not taking the week like we normally do but then again I didn’t feel relaxed at all on last years trip. Anyone bail on a summer vacation and regret it?

[Anonymous]

They were having a good time, just not doing what you wanted to do. Why couldn’t you go to the beach by yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They were having a good time, just not doing what you wanted to do. Why couldn’t you go to the beach by yourself?

Because they were 8 and 4 and couldn’t be left alone...?

[Anonymous]

To be clear, I don’t care if they want to swim in a pool and watch tv. I’m just not paying to take them somewhere else to do it. My question was if anyone has forgone the family vacation, did they regret it?

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids?

I’ve never skipped completely but I do plan around their needs and interests and sometimes that means not doing what I would want and letting them do stuff that I think is dumb.Your kids may not be beach people, but I also don’t get why you can’t just let them swim in the pool. I’ve been to random playgrounds in every place we’ve ever vacationed, because they just want to play sometimes. One of my kids is a brat about hiking-so I don’t plan outdoorsy vacations where that’s all we do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids?

I’ve never skipped completely but I do plan around their needs and interests and sometimes that means not doing what I would want and letting them do stuff that I think is dumb.Your kids may not be beach people, but I also don’t get why you can’t just let them swim in the pool. I’ve been to random playgrounds in every place we’ve ever vacationed, because they just want to play sometimes. One of my kids is a brat about hiking-so I don’t plan outdoorsy vacations where that’s all we do.

People. We went to the beach. It was frustrating to go to a beach and have the kids complain nonstop about being at the beach. Hence, I am considering NOT PLANNING A TRIP TO THE BEACH, which is exactly what you are saying. The only question posed was if you skipped the vacation to stay home and do what your kids wanted on the last vacation , which was just the pool and whatnot, *did you regret not taking the vacation *

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you've made up your mind for a summer staycation. Good job. Plan less, relax more.

Ask yourself why family vacations make you angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were having a good time, just not doing what you wanted to do. Why couldn’t you go to the beach by yourself?

Because they were 8 and 4 and couldn’t be left alone...?

They could have stayed with your dh. You sound angry. I’ve been there. It’s anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Going on vacation every year is a luxury, so you certainly won’t be alone in skipping it. That said, vacations make wonderful memories, so we do something every year.

[Anonymous]

How about you each take part of your vacation budget and go away for a couple of days to get your relaxation in?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you and DH didn't trade off. It's the kids' vacation too. Why not compromise so everyone gets to be reasonably happy?

[Anonymous]

You can still get a break and not deal with the hassle by taking a week off and having a staycation. But, for me, even if the kids are just swimming in the pool and watching TV, the virtue of getting away is that it turns off my to-do list at home so I can relax.

It sounds like you think vacation = beach. I've actually never taken my kids on a vacation that is a week at the beach. DH hates the beach and is only willing to do a day as part of another trip. And, when they were preschoolers we really only took trips to visit family. But, my parents live in a lake/golf community in the mountains that is a good get-away for us and are really helpful with the kids.

If you want to get away, try asking everyone in the family what they most want to do on vacation and think about how you can do a little of everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why you and DH didn't trade off. It's the kids' vacation too. Why not compromise so everyone gets to be reasonably happy?

Agree 100%. I couldn’t spend all day at the beach either. You sound very rigid and controlling.

[Anonymous]

I usually take about 4 full weeks off a year and usually go on a real vacation 2-3 of those weeks. In the past few years I’ve usually done a staycation one of those weeks and yes, I’ve somewhat “regretted” not traveling that week but we did have other vacations that year so it was not huge regret - just more like, uhh this feels like usual every day - I wish I was at the beach. One year I messed up and made a lot of appointments for people that week and it felt like no vacation. Last year i wisened up enough not to make appointments but my youngest got sick with a fever for a few days and I had to cancel our day trip plans for the last few days. I guess it would have been worse if she got sick on vacation tho.

I have a post in this forum about winter break and what I should do. I’m still considering a staycation but people here are also giving me good ideas so we will see what we do!

Everything is not puppies and rainbows with my kids every time we vacation. I do have screen time rules and they’re not allowed much.
If I wanted to be at the beach I might just tell the kids they had to suck it up for a certain amount of time. If they were upset for some reason like being bit by sand flies or it’s way too hot, I might reconsider. If they wanted to go to the pool I would make sure they did get pool time in - it’s their vacation too. But I think being in a family means taking turns to do what you all want and if I want to go to beach each day we have to fit that in too! .

My middle guy likes to ski now (I think, haha - he’s 7, but claims skiing was his fave part of spring break this year so I think he may have turned a corner) but he is real complainer in general, and he used to complain about our ski wknds. We used to just be able to go places like Camelback and Massanutten where I would tell him we could go to the waterpark after skiing to motivate him. Anyway I took them all skiing because I wanted to ski!

Anyway a staycation can be fun. If you live in the DC area there’s so much to do here. I would plan an activity for each day and it might still feel like a vacation. Last summer, before my DD got sick for a few days we did a day trip to Luray and we all really liked it.

I read this article right before one of our beach vacations in 2014. My kids do like the beach but did they always? I can’t even remember. I think after I read this article if anyone complained at the beach - I just said find something to do, dig clams, etc. I bring lots of snacks. And we do go back for lunch, etc.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2014/07/11/opinion/timothy-egan-let-em-eat-dirt.amp.html

[Anonymous]

Sounds good maybe your kids aren’t beach people. 4 is a tough age, but if they don’t like it, they don’t like it. Go to Hershey Park, Baltimore, etc. we never had a week long vacation when I was a kid.