Husband not on the same page

[Anonymous]

What is the biggest parenting related issue that you and your husband/wife/partner are not on the same page?
My husband shares too much about our financial struggles with our kids (7 and 5), and I go about in a different way. I don't want my kids to worry about money or have any anxiety related to that. Husband doesn't think it's a big deal.

We just agree to disagree. (But I'm right, he's wrong)

[Anonymous]

My husband spoils our daughter too much. We both grew up without a lot of money and we make a good living. I grew up in a loving family, and he grew up with an alcoholic dad, divorce, and then a single mom with significant anxiety. I want her to grow up somewhat grounded and appreciative. He wants her to always know she is loved and he shows that in many non-material ways but also many, many material ways.

[Anonymous]

I can call this right now. The wives want to restrict screen time, have a good routine, feed kids whole and healthy foods, limit spoiling kids with toys, and do family-centric outings like visiting a farm. The husbands liberally roughhouse and rile up the kids at bed time, liberally use screens, do lots of ice cream outings, chicken nugget dinners, and other treats, buy lots of toys for the kids even if it’s not their birthday or Christmas, and have little interest in farm-type outing and prefer everyone should hang around at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can call this right now. The wives want to restrict screen time, have a good routine, feed kids whole and healthy foods, limit spoiling kids with toys, and do family-centric outings like visiting a farm. The husbands liberally roughhouse and rile up the kids at bed time, liberally use screens, do lots of ice cream outings, chicken nugget dinners, and other treats, buy lots of toys for the kids even if it’s not their birthday or Christmas, and have little interest in farm-type outing and prefer everyone should hang around at home.

We shall see but I think that's just your house.

Our family (two moms):
Wife has no patience for kids. Constantly gets angry in the morning which sets off tantrums from 3 year old.
Feels like kids are not respecting her authority. Really they are just hearing her go "Wah-wah-wah" from another room.
Different approaches. It drives me crazy.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it's because we were together/married so long before we had kids so we had time to work a lot of things out, but... there's almost nothing about which we are not on the same page (and we were raised very differently-- different races/ethnicities, too). Now, that is to say... we do end up having different challenges when it comes to "implementation," but we at least agree on the theory and aim towards the same goals 99.9% of the time. It's definitely partly because my husband is so amiable. Like he definitely does care and have his own ideas, and he does push back some in the planning stage (I'm research-driven, a planner), but I find he's generally open to my ideas, too, because we share the same basic values at this point.

The only stark exception I can think of is such a silly little thing-- I would let my early ES kid drink coffee once in a while (I'm talking a shot glass size that's half milk, morning only) and he just has this hangup about it, saying she shouldn't have it until she's 12. I think it's totally arbitrary but it's just about the one thing I go along with even though I disagree-- because it's not like she NEEDS coffee. Of course our kid picks up on this because it's the one thing she knows we disagree on and she pushes, but ultimately accepts it. It's kind of a running joke.

There's very little else, honestly. Some things where he *would* do something differently if he were a single parent, or I would, but we've reached an agreement and don't intentionally divide our "united front" almost ever.

[Anonymous]

Clutter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can call this right now. The wives want to restrict screen time, have a good routine, feed kids whole and healthy foods, limit spoiling kids with toys, and do family-centric outings like visiting a farm. The husbands liberally roughhouse and rile up the kids at bed time, liberally use screens, do lots of ice cream outings, chicken nugget dinners, and other treats, buy lots of toys for the kids even if it’s not their birthday or Christmas, and have little interest in farm-type outing and prefer everyone should hang around at home.

Men are bad, women are good. What-effing-ever.

[Anonymous]

I like to research and read everything I can, like sleep science, milestones etc. DH thinks we should just wing it. Neither of us are right and we try to meet in the middle.

[Anonymous]

I like to research and read everything I can, like sleep science, milestones etc. DH thinks we should just wing it. Neither of us are right and we try to meet in the middle.

[Anonymous]

My husband let’s the kids climb into our bed in the middle of the night to sleep with us. It drives me bananas because I can’t sleep with a preschooler kicking me in the back. I’ll carry them back to their beds but they just keep coming back.

He says that at some point they will stop wanting to snuggle and he wants to get all that he can. I get that but I prefer my snuggles when I’m not trying to sleep.

[Anonymous]

DH cannot say no to our DC. Ever. I have to always be the bad guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband let’s the kids climb into our bed in the middle of the night to sleep with us. It drives me bananas because I can’t sleep with a preschooler kicking me in the back. I’ll carry them back to their beds but they just keep coming back.

He says that at some point they will stop wanting to snuggle and he wants to get all that he can. I get that but I prefer my snuggles when I’m not trying to sleep.

Oh man I just had a huge fight with DH about this exact issue earlier this week. I am 38 weeks pregnant and COULD NOT share the bed with our 2.5 yo at 3am and with work the next day. I refused, carried DD back to her crib myself (where she promptly feel asleep) but then was up for an hour fighting with DH. it was horrible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can call this right now. The wives want to restrict screen time, have a good routine, feed kids whole and healthy foods, limit spoiling kids with toys, and do family-centric outings like visiting a farm. The husbands liberally roughhouse and rile up the kids at bed time, liberally use screens, do lots of ice cream outings, chicken nugget dinners, and other treats, buy lots of toys for the kids even if it’s not their birthday or Christmas, and have little interest in farm-type outing and prefer everyone should hang around at home.

Except in our house its the wife who eats out a lot, tons of ice cream outings, basic dinners, buys stuff all year round... Dad has to go earn the money to pay for it (and kindly brings Mom home carryout if they go out without her).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband let’s the kids climb into our bed in the middle of the night to sleep with us. It drives me bananas because I can’t sleep with a preschooler kicking me in the back. I’ll carry them back to their beds but they just keep coming back.

He says that at some point they will stop wanting to snuggle and he wants to get all that he can. I get that but I prefer my snuggles when I’m not trying to sleep.

My husband agreed to that a few times. THEY ALL GOT KICKED out of bed. Husband can sleep with kid in kid's bed.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like to argue in front of the kids and he has no problems doing it.