Experience with 6+ year age gap?

[Anonymous]

Spouse and I thought we were one and done, but lately we have both been thinking it would be nice to have another. DD is about to turn 6. Can anybody here speak from experience about what it's like to have two kids so far apart? Do they just have nothing in common? Is it difficult to go to the older kid's events because of the younger's schedule?

[Anonymous]

We have a 6 year+ age gap! My girls are almost 9 and almost 2. It's been great! Yes, there is a fair amount of not being able to do the same activities, or not being able to just sit there and gab with the other parents because your two year old is off and running. You deal with it, because you don't have any choice, and it gets better with time. What they have in common will be their love of each other, their strong bond, the lovely feeling of being an important part of the same family. And as they grow, they will find other things that they can both find joy in. Keep sending the message that the siblings should always be close, and they probably will (barring any major personality issues). Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Mine are 6.5 years apart. They are adore each other and are tight. Our biggest challenge has been finding a movie we will all enjoy on family movie night! (although its getting easier now that the youngest is 8)

[Anonymous]

I think you will be fine. If anything it might be easier having the older child. My kids are 5 years apart and it is okay. When the youngest was a baby, the eldest was pretty helpful. They play together sometimes, but they still have their own activities and friends. T

[Anonymous]

We have two girls who are almost 7 years apart. I think it’s perfect. But I also think it’s hard. I feel like we have a great family unit. A big kid who can pull weight and cute little kid who just delights everyone. Temperament will change everything. Our first is easy going. Our second is intense. So we’ve dealt with feelings of lost time with our oldest because second is so demanding. But they absolutely adore each other and play well together.

[Anonymous]

My sister is 8 years younger and we have nothing in common. No relationship. Totally sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is 8 years younger and we have nothing in common. No relationship. Totally sucks.

Well, that’s probably on you.

[Anonymous]

I’ve got a brother 6 years older and another 8 years younger. We are all very close.

[Anonymous]

My mother is 7 years older than her sister as is my dad. Both pairs are great friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is 8 years younger and we have nothing in common. No relationship. Totally sucks.

My sister is 13 months younger. No relationship. Totally sucks.

It has nothing to do with the age gap, and everything to do with our personalities/interests. We just have nothing in common, and no age gap would have made it a magical relationship--just like no age gap will destroy that magical relationship. My cousins are 10 years apart and SO close--it's just who they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister is 8 years younger and we have nothing in common. No relationship. Totally sucks.

My sister is 13 months younger. No relationship. Totally sucks.

It has nothing to do with the age gap, and everything to do with our personalities/interests. We just have nothing in common, and no age gap would have made it a magical relationship--just like no age gap will destroy that magical relationship. My cousins are 10 years apart and SO close--it's just who they are.

I think so too. My brothers are 2 and 4 years younger than me and we barely talk (one will text me about politics and that's about it). My husband's sisters are all 5-10 years younger or older and they are all closer.

[Anonymous]

My sister and I are 6 years apart. When we were younger...yeah, it was tough. She was bored with me when I was a baby (I don’t remember this obviously), and we had nothing in common for a good long while due to the age gap. I remember her being particularly mean to me when I was in 1/2 grade and she was in 7/8 (I worshipped her and wanted to follow her around everywhere and as a typical middle schooler she wanted none of that).

Something flipped by the time she got to high school, and she actually wanted to start hanging out with me occasionally. By the time we were in 6th and 12th grade, we were very close. When she went off to college, she called to talk to me regularly. Now we text/talk every single day.

All this is to say that it may not be easy in the beginning, but it definitely can be awesome down the road! And there’s never a guarantee of sibling closeness no matter what the age gap is.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 6 years and 1 month apart - ages 7 and 1, both girls. The first year was hard because of how demanding and exhausting newborns are but ODD was so sweet, helpful and amazing with the baby. Yes babies are pretty boring so she wasn't engaged for very long, but it was so helpful to have a mostly self sufficient older child who was not needy and you can totally reason with (mommy need to feed the baby now but will come play with you in 10 mins). There wasn't really any jealousy, but I do feel bad that ODD got 100% of the attention and it probably dropped to like 30-40% once the baby was here for the first 6 months.

Now that the baby is 1 and more mobile plus on a schedule, it's a bit more challenging logistically. Baby does not nap well in the car or stroller and tends to melt down when over tired, so it can be hard to drag her along to activities if she is going to be a disaster. DH and I previously loved to do things as a family - so we would all do activities together. Now we have to divide and conquer very often and I miss being able to all be together. We also had a lot of freedom to stay out late with ODD when traveling, visiting family and friends, etc... and that is hard since again, the baby needs to sleep and just is not so go with the flow anymore.

Those are the main negatives, but there are so many more positives. It's truly amazing to see the love these sisters have for one another already and it's nice to be in two different ages/phases at one time. The baby is such a sweetheart and really completes our family in a way we never knew we wanted. We are so much more confident and relaxed as parents the second time around and I am so happy we had the chance to do it all over again. Given how independent our 6yo has become - she is in school most of the day, then at activities, going to friends' houses, etc... I was starting to get a little sad before we had #2 that this was it - DH and I often found ourselves alone after being devoted to a kid around the clock for 5+ years and we were not quite ready to be done with the baby/toddler phase, as crazy as that sounds.

[Anonymous]

My husband is close as an adult with his 10 and 7 year older brothers. Our families spend time together, we regularly go out to visit. Can't speak to the early years - but they have a strong bond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is 8 years younger and we have nothing in common. No relationship. Totally sucks.

My brother is 9 years younger and I love him to pieces.