"learning skills" on report card

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering if anyone has advice about how to have a constructive conversation with our child's school about actions related to "learning skills" on the report card.

Every year, we see our now 4th grader's morale lag as the year progresses and he sees his teacher's assessment of his various "learning skills" shift from DEM to PRG. He has a 504 for ADHD but receives no accommodations other than his teacher's awareness of the need for a hand on the shoulder to redirect/focus. He struggles with social cues and can be impulsive but also struggles to know how to stand up for himself when blamed by other children for actions in which they were involved too. He's had things like a behavior chart, etc. in the past but he doesn't typically even really need one until the third quarter when the stress of feeling like he sees himself as a "bad" kid starts to bubble over based on things like the report card, etc.

For families with children whose learning skills are labelled as "progressing" or "not yet evident" have you been able to work with your child's school to encourage things like "classroom meetings" or other such whole classroom approaches to ensuring all children feel welcomed and included? Any other advice for us? Our child is clearly feeling excluded and sad and the school does not seem interested in helping.

Any/all advice welcomed.

[Anonymous]

Definitely let the teacher know how this is affecting your child.

In the meantime, is there anyway you can de-emphasize the report card? My son has never wanted to look at his report card. We don't make him look at it either. He is fourth grade too.

[Anonymous]

To be fair, isn't he progressing in those areas? I know my son has a pattern of demonstrating in the first quarter for follows oral and written directions, then it changes to progressing later in the year when he becomes more comfortable. We just use it as a talking point as to what he's doing well and what he should pay more attention to.

I guess I'm not sure what you're asking--if he's truly feeling sad and excluded then I would suggest working with a therapist. CBT may help him reframe his thinking.

[Anonymous]

Second suggestion for CBT. It sounds like he's really hard on himself.
My straight A kid also sometimes gets PRG on those learning skills but doesn't think about it at all. I find them kind of arbitrary. I would only look in to a not yet evident grade.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks, everyone! Please do keep the thoughts coming.

Quick responses - we don't make a big deal about the report card. In fact, he only sees it because it comes home in paper form from school. And, we've recently identified a therapist for him. So, these suggestions are much appreciated and in line with what we're doing. We also hold family meetings weekly, talk about being thoughtful members of our communities - including the school, and we model restorative practices at home.

I guess I'm really trying to get at the fact that the "learning skills" on the report card is a small thing but it feels like one where there is no real action on the part of the school in response to the challenges identified for a child with clear ADHD who is feeling excluded from his classroom/school community and is responding in that way. His teacher is lovely but clear that "her hands are tied" when it comes to the free-for-all happening at lunch and recess - which seems to be where many of the challenges are starting that then carry over to how our child acts in the classroom. None of his behavior has been super serious but all of it clearly indicates how he feels ostracized (and we see much bigger flare-ups of frustration at home).

I'm not looking for the school to address this for us or without us, but they haven't seemed interested in the fact that deterioration in "performance" on learning skills is an indicator that there are some things happening in the school environment resulting in a kid - that for two quarters was demonstrating effort/motivation/persistence (etc) - no longer doing so.

[Anonymous]

He's also at the age when kids are becoming ever more aware of social groups. Besides the therapist, sounds like a good time for a meeting with the teacher and the 504 coordinator (counselor??). Clarify the extent of his progress in these areas compared to what is expected in terms of mastery. There might be a combo of factors, but certainly something can and should be done about the lunchroom "free for all"--they have monitors there, right? What about a social skills group?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks, everyone! Please do keep the thoughts coming.

Quick responses - we don't make a big deal about the report card. In fact, he only sees it because it comes home in paper form from school. And, we've recently identified a therapist for him. So, these suggestions are much appreciated and in line with what we're doing. We also hold family meetings weekly, talk about being thoughtful members of our communities - including the school, and we model restorative practices at home.

I guess I'm really trying to get at the fact that the "learning skills" on the report card is a small thing but it feels like one where there is no real action on the part of the school in response to the challenges identified for a child with clear ADHD who is feeling excluded from his classroom/school community and is responding in that way. His teacher is lovely but clear that "her hands are tied" when it comes to the free-for-all happening at lunch and recess - which seems to be where many of the challenges are starting that then carry over to how our child acts in the classroom. None of his behavior has been super serious but all of it clearly indicates how he feels ostracized (and we see much bigger flare-ups of frustration at home).

I'm not looking for the school to address this for us or without us, but they haven't seemed interested in the fact that deterioration in "performance" on learning skills is an indicator that there are some things happening in the school environment resulting in a kid - that for two quarters was demonstrating effort/motivation/persistence (etc) - no longer doing so.

Have you tried to involve the school counselor? Being consistently ostracized by peers could be reported on the bullying form. If the school is really resistant to addressing it with you, submitting a bullying form might force them to deal with it/take it seriously. The teacher can not be at recess to supervise, but he/she CAN deal with the way it bleeds into the classroom in a variety of ways. Same with the school counselor. This seems like a situation that might call for one or more lunch bunches to help your kid make stronger connections with some classmates. I would definitely try to get the school counselor involved.

Our DD had an issue with how a classmate was treating her at recess and the (truly great) 3rd grade teacher addressed it and solved it very quickly.

[Anonymous]

Is your child on medication?

[Anonymous]

Have you tried a social skills class? Have you asked whether there's an informal lunch bunch or other group that your child can participate in?

[Anonymous]

I question how a teacher arrives at these labels with any objectivity. It's mostly teacher whimsy. I wouldn't put too much stock in it.

[Anonymous]

Please don't medicate your kid just because teachers are markin learning skills with Prog. Find out the entire picture, academically and socially. Meds don't come without many side effects, and the verdict is still out on the long term effects on the young brain with the stimulants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I question how a teacher arrives at these labels with any objectivity. It's mostly teacher whimsy. I wouldn't put too much stock in it.

This. My child's grades went from DEM to PRG to DEM and from PRG to DEM TO PRG.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I question how a teacher arrives at these labels with any objectivity. It's mostly teacher whimsy. I wouldn't put too much stock in it.

This. My child's grades went from DEM to PRG to DEM and from PRG to DEM TO PRG.

Absolutely true. I work for MCPS and there are no criteria in writing for grading and reporting specific learning skills. A document was to be released a year or two ago after being vetted by the Equity office but it never came out. So unless the specific school has established criteria then I wouldn't lose sleep over it. I will say, if my kid came home with DEM or PRG I'd be just fine with it. If your child is truly struggling socially then I would hope the teacher has reached out via phone or email with specific concerns.

[Anonymous]

OP, my son is exactly like yours - he's got a 504 too, although he's in 5th grade.

Picking up on social cues has always been his greatest obstacle associated with his ADHD... its almost like he can't get out of his own way because he so wants to be accepted... it just breaks my heart because he has a true heart of gold.

I have some tips for you that we've started that have become very successful (especially with standing up for himself).
I'd prefer not to list them here, as they would make my child easily identifiable.

Please feel free to email me though (if you're comfortable with it, of course) at [e-mail].
I would be more than happy to share with you what has worked for us.

It definitely takes a village... especially for those of us with SN/LD kids. ?

[Anonymous]

Sorry, not sure why that question make showed up, lol.