should I give up on teaching my 6 year old to swim?

[Anonymous]

My 6 year old is still terrified of swimming - won't even take showers or pour water on his head. I've tried lessons and he never makes much progress. He's literally only gone under water completely once in his life, and that was when he slipped in the pool when he was wading about waste deep. Now he's old enough that he'll refuse to do camps or lessons he doesn't want to do, so I don't think group lessons will work. I think he'd make progress 1:1 with a teacher who was really engaging and good with anxious kids, but it seems basically impossible to find 1:1 lessons in DC proper at any rate of reliability and frequency to make a difference ... So what, do I just give up until he gets old enough to decide for himself he wants to swim? I myself am a capable swimmer and have been trying to get him into the pool since he was a baby, and he'd just cling to me terrified.

[Anonymous]

If it were me I would consult a professional. Maybe your pediatrician can recommend one. Swimming is a life-saving skill. I know several adults who are fearful of the water, and it severely impacts their enjoyment of life. It might not be too late for your son if you intervene now.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure the not wanting to be in water isn’t a sensory thing? The fact that it expands to showers or water pouring on his head makes it seem more than that. I agree with consulting others if you think that might be possible, maybe an OT?

[Anonymous]

You need to be the 1:1 teacher. This is not about teaching your kid to actually swim. He needs to get over his fear of the water first.

Take him to an indoor pool with a play area. The first day there you both put on swimsuits and put your feet in the water. That's it, just your feet, tushy's stay on the coping. Stay for 15-20 min.

2 days later you go back. Maybe today you sit on the first step....maybe you still just put your feet in the water.

2 days later, back you go. Let your son dictate how far he is willing to go each time and how long he is willing to tolerate it.

Buy a season pass to the indoor pool. You should plan to be there frequently.

Hopefully, he will eventually get used to the water and see the other kids having fun on the slides and such and want to join in. That might not be for a long time though. Don't rush him.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have tried this but do goggles help? My son used to be like that but with goggles he's gotten much better about water. He just hates water in his eyes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 6 year old is still terrified of swimming - won't even take showers or pour water on his head. I've tried lessons and he never makes much progress. He's literally only gone under water completely once in his life, and that was when he slipped in the pool when he was wading about waste deep. Now he's old enough that he'll refuse to do camps or lessons he doesn't want to do, so I don't think group lessons will work. I think he'd make progress 1:1 with a teacher who was really engaging and good with anxious kids, but it seems basically impossible to find 1:1 lessons in DC proper at any rate of reliability and frequency to make a difference ... So what, do I just give up until he gets old enough to decide for himself he wants to swim? I myself am a capable swimmer and have been trying to get him into the pool since he was a baby, and he'd just cling to me terrified.

Lowell in DC has private lessons. Also, my kid has taken private lessons at Kids First in the White Flint area--I've noticed several nervous kids in the water getting private lessons. Also, they keep the water really warm there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the not wanting to be in water isn’t a sensory thing? The fact that it expands to showers or water pouring on his head makes it seem more than that. I agree with consulting others if you think that might be possible, maybe an OT?

Yes it's definitely sensory in a way - although it's more related to anxiety and proprioception (he's surprised by the water hitting his face). He doesn't have any sensory issues in other context (food, clothes, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the not wanting to be in water isn’t a sensory thing? The fact that it expands to showers or water pouring on his head makes it seem more than that. I agree with consulting others if you think that might be possible, maybe an OT?

Yes it's definitely sensory in a way - although it's more related to anxiety and proprioception (he's surprised by the water hitting his face). He doesn't have any sensory issues in other context (food, clothes, etc).

Also I would LOVE to find an OT who gives swimming lessons at a pool I can get to regularly in DC, but I've looked high and low ...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to be the 1:1 teacher. This is not about teaching your kid to actually swim. He needs to get over his fear of the water first.

Take him to an indoor pool with a play area. The first day there you both put on swimsuits and put your feet in the water. That's it, just your feet, tushy's stay on the coping. Stay for 15-20 min.

2 days later you go back. Maybe today you sit on the first step....maybe you still just put your feet in the water.

2 days later, back you go. Let your son dictate how far he is willing to go each time and how long he is willing to tolerate it.

Buy a season pass to the indoor pool. You should plan to be there frequently.

Hopefully, he will eventually get used to the water and see the other kids having fun on the slides and such and want to join in. That might not be for a long time though. Don't rush him.

So, we've actually done this to a degree, and he can have fun in the water up to his waist/shoulders or so. But if he's around other kids who might splash his face, game over. I'm also not sure how to make the jump from immersing the body to putting his face in, and actually floating.

[Anonymous]

I live in NE DC and the success stories I know of have been with Old City Swim School, Coach Jerry at Trinity, and people who can are able to hangout at the PG Pool a ton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to be the 1:1 teacher. This is not about teaching your kid to actually swim. He needs to get over his fear of the water first.

Take him to an indoor pool with a play area. The first day there you both put on swimsuits and put your feet in the water. That's it, just your feet, tushy's stay on the coping. Stay for 15-20 min.

2 days later you go back. Maybe today you sit on the first step....maybe you still just put your feet in the water.

2 days later, back you go. Let your son dictate how far he is willing to go each time and how long he is willing to tolerate it.

Buy a season pass to the indoor pool. You should plan to be there frequently.

Hopefully, he will eventually get used to the water and see the other kids having fun on the slides and such and want to join in. That might not be for a long time though. Don't rush him.

So, we've actually done this to a degree, and he can have fun in the water up to his waist/shoulders or so. But if he's around other kids who might splash his face, game over. I'm also not sure how to make the jump from immersing the body to putting his face in, and actually floating.

Start with a damp washcloth. Let him bring it to his chin, his cheek, his lips, etc. Over time, let the wash cloth get wetter and drippier.

[Anonymous]

https://www.amazon.com/Aqua-Sphere-Seal-Swim-Goggle/dp/B00I0UKKD4/ref=sr_1_10?crid=1SFGQTWIKXM5F&keywords=kids+swimming+goggles&qid=1555509917&s=gateway&sprefix=Kids+swim%2Caps%2C376&sr=8-10

These goggles were a god send. They are wide enough to offer more protection and are less pressure around the eye socket because of their size. We got these for DS when he was 4 and struggling with putting his head under and they made a huge difference.

[Anonymous]

Oh I can so relate. I'm an adult with an odd fear of putting my head under water. It's all completely anxiety related. I can do showers and splashes but if I put her dunder water when swimming I get super anxious, take a long full of water and it's not good.
I can still swim breaststroke though and float well.
In MoCo there are good 1:1 teachers. I'd look for something on the weekends where you can take him. Talk to the teacher ahead of time, and maybe start with swimming that doesn't include head under water to get him comfortable. Separately work on the anxiety. Since if he has issues with kids splashing etc he'll never have that much fun in a pool or ocean anyway.

[Anonymous]

As a former swim teacher, I recommend working on more water acclimation at home - does he mind showers? Does he like baths? Work on getting him use to the water.

If you have a pool pass, take him when you can. Having a teacher that is understanding or a smaller class (I would say four or less kids per teacher tbh) will help immensely. I've had kids like this and usually it was a matter of time and consistency over a couple of months of twice a week lessons. I taught at a YMCA, I know that's less common in this area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a former swim teacher, I recommend working on more water acclimation at home - does he mind showers? Does he like baths? Work on getting him use to the water.

If you have a pool pass, take him when you can. Having a teacher that is understanding or a smaller class (I would say four or less kids per teacher tbh) will help immensely. I've had kids like this and usually it was a matter of time and consistency over a couple of months of twice a week lessons. I taught at a YMCA, I know that's less common in this area.

OP here. He won't take showers! I can try to start playing games in the bath. The problem is that we don't have a great dynamic for me teaching him -- I have a hard time not pushing him too much. I'm fine just playing with him, but it's hard for me to cope with the screaming and dramatics he reserves for mommy ... He does much better with a nice, new adult that he is trying to impress.

One of my concerns with a group class is that he will be very far behind other 6-7 year olds. Do you think that's an issue?

And yeah, 2x/week seems like it would be necessary to get anywhere ...