Has anyone given birth alone?

[Anonymous]

In the hospital w/o anyone there for you?

[Anonymous]

Oh that is so sad OP You are going to need someone. Can you join a church or something?

[Anonymous]

You dont have any friends in the area????

HUGE HUG!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the hospital w/o anyone there for you?

Seriously considered this with my second child. Situation was so bad with my now-ex that I was considering asking him to leave our home and having the baby alone in the hospital. Unfortunately, went into early labor, so that plan was blown. Frankly, my now-ex was worse than useless in the hospital and I spent most of the time worrying about him and worrying about the labor. Would have far preferred worrying just about the labor.

I considered asking my parents to help in the delivery room (seemed weird for my dad, love my mom but she is somewhat of a stress ball, so couldn't really imagine that.) Also too weird to ask my brothers, at least during the actual delivery. They would have been great walking me down the hall, etc., but can't imagine being spread-eagle giving birth in front of them. I think it would have worked if they would have been OK with leaving the room when I was in actual delivery mode. For me, this only lasted about 45 minutes, so it might have worked, but if I'd been pushing for hours, they would have been worried. Maybe you have a friend you can imagine helping you in this way, but would be OK with leaving during the actual delivery?

One problem about doing it alone, is that there is no one there to fight for you if there is an emergency. With my second birth, I sensed there was a moment when the doc was like "either you have this baby now or you get a ceasarean." A coherent partner (which my ex was not) could have helped me thru it better. Perhaps you might consider hiring a doula to help you thru the birth?

It sounds sad to have the baby alone, but from my perspective, it's even sadder to have the baby with someone who doesn't belong there or who created great sadness in your life. My ex was creating havoc in my life and having him there was worse than being alone, for me. Alone, I could have savored the excitement of meeting the baby and the power of giving birth (by myself). Alone I could have enjoyed calm moments when first nursing the baby and focusing only on him/her.

Alone may not be so bad, depending on your situation and how you view it.

[Anonymous]

I am not thinking of just the giving birth part. I am thinking of after.... those times alone in the room when you can't always have a nurse at your beck and call but it hurts to do anything. What if you end up with a c section? I couldn't even stand to change that first meconimum poop. Someone to help you in and out of bed when you want to pee (if you are not catheterized) or fetch you things from the snack closet between nurse's visits. Someone to hand you your boppy when it falls on the floor.
Having a baby can be so lonely and isolating and there's no predicting how you will feel or how your recovery will go. The nurses are nice but they have a lot of other patients and they are not there to hold your hand the whole time. Esp. if you are a first time mom you need SOMEONE.

Heck at Fairfax hospital, after the birth, they forgot me! In the delivery room. A cleaning person showed up to clean the room and was shocked that I was still there. You need an able bodied person to be with you so you can send them to fetch help, get attention, grab a cup of ice when you are laboring.... the nurses are not THAT helpful.

[Anonymous]

i had my son with a donor sperm. i obsessed quite a bit about who to have in the delivery room...ended up with a doula and a friend. but i have to tell you..when the time arrived i really could not have cared who was there with me, just wanted to get the baby delivered! the delivery nurse was as good as anyone. seriously, don't obsess too much. the doula was nice to have, especially when it seemed that the epidural was not working on one side. she encouraged me to ask for another one which i did. not sure i would have realized the first one didn't really work without someone there to tell me (this was my first time). what was nice was having a couple of friends around after i had my baby...they independently came up with a schedule so that someone stayed with me for the first two weeks. that was great.

[Anonymous]

I didn't give birth alone but I had two friends who did - both fathers were total A-holes. One friend reached out to family and friends and had lots of support during the birth and after. Another friend holed up and had to arrange a ride home from the hospital. I wish she'd told us she was in labor. I and about half a dozen other people would have been there every step of the way and after but she was just too withdrawn. I feel so sad about that. No woman should have to go through birth without someone who cares about her there. I agree with the PP who suggested a doula. I had one for all three of my kids and, frankly, there wouldn't have been anyone better. She was experienced, she was my advocate and she was energized by the whole process. I hope you'll reach out for someone for labor, delivery and afterwards. You'll probably be surprised by all who would be willing to lend a hand. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I didn't, but having had my 1st and expecting #2, I would be there in a heartbeat, night or day, for any of my friends that wanted me there.

And while I agree with a PP that you would be fine on your own, I do think it is wonderful to have that support there for you, and don't be afraid to ask. As another PP said - you probably have a number of family/friends who would love to be there for you if you let them.

[Anonymous]

I am single and hoping to have a baby via ADI.

I will most likely give birth alone but that is just me. I do not like having other people around when I am sick and I have always been the kind of "do it yourself" person. I have been in the hospital for extended stays before and have been fine.

I do agree with those who mentioned the emergency so I am considering a doula.

[Anonymous]

I thought I might have to give birth alone - at first, the dad was out of the picture, and then when he came back into the picture, there was a chance he'd be out of town during the birth! turned out he was there the whole time. I think I would have been kind of lonely and bored if he hadn't been there. I took books and crossword puzzles in there with me, but my labor was long and I would have gotten kind of stir-crazy with only the nurses to talk to. (and they have other patients.) Is there anyone - friend or family - who could at least come by and hang out with you for a couple hours? You could always kick them out during the birth if you didn't want them there, but I'd think it might be nice to have someone around to hold your hand.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend there for me, but she actually ended up falling asleep during most of it. Although I would ideally want someone there with me, it didn't bother me that much that I might go through it alone. It the end, it was more about the baby and mommy moment anyway.
On the other hand, it really upset me that I had no baby shower, no people coming over or any help after the baby was born.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend with me during labor/birth, but no one stayed with me in the hosp. after (visitors, of course.) Honestly, if I had to do it again I'd choose to go through labor/delivery on my own and have someone to stay after. As someone else said, my nurses during delivery were great, and totally with me. But after there is 0 support.
Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i had my son with a donor sperm. i obsessed quite a bit about who to have in the delivery room...ended up with a doula and a friend. but i have to tell you..when the time arrived i really could not have cared who was there with me, just wanted to get the baby delivered! the delivery nurse was as good as anyone. seriously, don't obsess too much. the doula was nice to have, especially when it seemed that the epidural was not working on one side. she encouraged me to ask for another one which i did. not sure i would have realized the first one didn't really work without someone there to tell me (this was my first time). what was nice was having a couple of friends around after i had my baby...they independently came up with a schedule so that someone stayed with me for the first two weeks. that was great.

Completely agree. My L&D nurse was really nice and supportive and she was really all I needed (so don't waste $$ on a doula).

However, it would've been nice to have someone there for those first tender moments when you finally hold your newborn. I just savored that time to myself. Nothing else really mattered once I finally got to meet my little one.

[Anonymous]

The midwives at the DC Birth Center have experience working with women who are alone for whatever reason. They are good at listening and respecting your needs and wants. They also have a free doula program so every woman will have someone watching over her according to the birth mother's wishes. http://www.yourfhbc.org/

Women who hire the DC Birth Center midwives can chose to birth at the birth center or at Washington Hosp Center.

I am a doula. I want to stress that good post partum care means some adult is checking in with you everyday, especially during the first 2 weeks after the birth. Post partum hemmorrage can happen at any time as well as other complications that can be nipped in the bud when spotted early.

[Anonymous]

OP, the grass is always greener. I was so annoyed with DH when I was going into labor with #5. I didn't bother telling him I had checked into the hospital until it was almost time to push. All I wanted was to be left alone in my room with DD. The nurses were pretty good about it and I managed to shuffle around and pick up DD and take a shower. No C-section, though. Best of luck.