And what sports are you in?

[Anonymous]

I have twin boys and one isn't into sports at all. It's just not his talent or interest. But "what sports are you in?" seems to always be the first question an adult asks. I get it, people are trying to make conversation but it makes him feel awkward.

He'll say something like he plays piano but it's still a conversation stopper. Any good answers we're not thinking of? I feel like it's the child equivalent of "So what do you do?" that adults are always asked in DC (but at least they usually have an answer!). Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys and one isn't into sports at all. It's just not his talent or interest. But "what sports are you in?" seems to always be the first question an adult asks. I get it, people are trying to make conversation but it makes him feel awkward.

He'll say something like he plays piano but it's still a conversation stopper. Any good answers we're not thinking of? I feel like it's the child equivalent of "So what do you do?" that adults are always asked in DC (but at least they usually have an answer!). Thanks

I think answering with his interests is fine. If it's a conversation stopper, that speaks to the lack of conversational skill of the adult. My son doesn't play sports either, and I don't generally hear him asked this question, btw.

[Anonymous]

I have never heard this question asked by adults to DS11 outside of applying to private schools. Maybe it’s your social circle. That is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have never heard this question asked by adults to DS11 outside of applying to private schools. Maybe it’s your social circle. That is weird.

And DS does play sports and does well in them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys and one isn't into sports at all. It's just not his talent or interest. But "what sports are you in?" seems to always be the first question an adult asks. I get it, people are trying to make conversation but it makes him feel awkward.

He'll say something like he plays piano but it's still a conversation stopper. Any good answers we're not thinking of? I feel like it's the child equivalent of "So what do you do?" that adults are always asked in DC (but at least they usually have an answer!). Thanks

I think answering with his interests is fine. If it's a conversation stopper, that speaks to the lack of conversational skill of the adult. My son doesn't play sports either, and I don't generally hear him asked this question, btw.

I've heard this question asked and I may be guilty of asking. But +1 for it being the adult's issue, not your son's. If a child told me he was into piano I would have a lot of questions! Cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys and one isn't into sports at all. It's just not his talent or interest. But "what sports are you in?" seems to always be the first question an adult asks. I get it, people are trying to make conversation but it makes him feel awkward.

He'll say something like he plays piano but it's still a conversation stopper. Any good answers we're not thinking of? I feel like it's the child equivalent of "So what do you do?" that adults are always asked in DC (but at least they usually have an answer!). Thanks

Why not playing both piano and a sport? Piano teaches the left and right brain to work in harmony. Sport teaches mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitude. Piano will help your boys pick up sophisticate women when they get older while sport will help your sons improve their dating in high school. It is a win-win combination.

[Anonymous]

They take one look at my son and don't even ask the sports question

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys and one isn't into sports at all. It's just not his talent or interest. But "what sports are you in?" seems to always be the first question an adult asks. I get it, people are trying to make conversation but it makes him feel awkward.

He'll say something like he plays piano but it's still a conversation stopper. Any good answers we're not thinking of? I feel like it's the child equivalent of "So what do you do?" that adults are always asked in DC (but at least they usually have an answer!). Thanks

Why not playing both piano and a sport? Piano teaches the left and right brain to work in harmony. Sport teaches mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitude. Piano will help your boys pick up sophisticate women when they get older while sport will help your sons improve their dating in high school. It is a win-win combination.

Why does a person have to play sports? Surely there are many ways to acquire perserverence and other positive qualities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys and one isn't into sports at all. It's just not his talent or interest. But "what sports are you in?" seems to always be the first question an adult asks. I get it, people are trying to make conversation but it makes him feel awkward.

He'll say something like he plays piano but it's still a conversation stopper. Any good answers we're not thinking of? I feel like it's the child equivalent of "So what do you do?" that adults are always asked in DC (but at least they usually have an answer!). Thanks

Why not playing both piano and a sport? Piano teaches the left and right brain to work in harmony. Sport teaches mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitude. Piano will help your boys pick up sophisticate women when they get older while sport will help your sons improve their dating in high school. It is a win-win combination.

Please stop with the ridiculous cliche sports benefits. Mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitudes can be learned in any milieu.
My high schooler has learned to be more tough than any of his peers because he has significant learning disabilities and he has to work 10 times as hard to get straight As. He's had straight As since 6th grade.
My daughter learned perseverance with her violin playing. She plays at a high level, and it's a work of detail and perfectionism.
The USA is obsessed with sports, yet has the highest rates of obesity in the developed world. Maybe instead of blindly revering anything sports-related, people should develop critical thinking skills.

[Anonymous]

He should elaborate on his love of piano. Equip him with 2-3 sentences that would carry on a conversation - about his practices, upcoming recitals, favorite pieces he has mastered - and then critically a "did you play an instrument as a teen?" so that the conversation moves back to the adult.

This isn't about sports, it's about being able to converse confidently and appropriately in a grown up environment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys and one isn't into sports at all. It's just not his talent or interest. But "what sports are you in?" seems to always be the first question an adult asks. I get it, people are trying to make conversation but it makes him feel awkward.

He'll say something like he plays piano but it's still a conversation stopper. Any good answers we're not thinking of? I feel like it's the child equivalent of "So what do you do?" that adults are always asked in DC (but at least they usually have an answer!). Thanks

Why not playing both piano and a sport? Piano teaches the left and right brain to work in harmony. Sport teaches mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitude. Piano will help your boys pick up sophisticate women when they get older while sport will help your sons improve their dating in high school. It is a win-win combination.

Please stop with the ridiculous cliche sports benefits. Mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitudes can be learned in any milieu.
My high schooler has learned to be more tough than any of his peers because he has significant learning disabilities and he has to work 10 times as hard to get straight As. He's had straight As since 6th grade.
My daughter learned perseverance with her violin playing. She plays at a high level, and it's a work of detail and perfectionism.
The USA is obsessed with sports, yet has the highest rates of obesity in the developed world. Maybe instead of blindly revering anything sports-related, people should develop critical thinking skills.

Look, no one said that your kids should not play piano or violin. If they can play both, that is even better than just play violin by itself.

If they can play a sport on top of playing piano or violin, that is even better. Sports, jut like piano and violin, require hard work and a lot dedication if one wants to be good at it. Sports are different than violin and piano in the sense that you can get humiliated by your opponents because they run up the score, got bagel because you had a bad day. You just have to swallow your pride, don't have time to feel sorry for yourself because you will have to get ready to play again, knowing full well that it will happen again. Over time, you develop that mental toughness no matter the circumstances might be.

High level of work details and perfectionism are all good but what if you fail, what are you going to do? In sports, kids know that you're setup to fail but that does not mean you should not try.

In baseball, if you only succeed 3 of of 10 times at bat, you're a great hitter. It means that you fail 70% of the times at bat. That's what sports teach you.

music + sport > than just music in itself. The sum is always greater than the parts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not playing both piano and a sport? Piano teaches the left and right brain to work in harmony. Sport teaches mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitude. Piano will help your boys pick up sophisticate women when they get older while sport will help your sons improve their dating in high school. It is a win-win combination.

OP here -- I would love him to get into a sport. We've tried many and he just doesn't have the coordination for some reason. Even on rec teams with friends, it becomes quickly obvious that people won't pass to him b/c he can't catch, etc. He's not awkward in general but add in a ball and it's not good. And it becomes self-fufilling b/c the more he thinks he's bad at it, the more he won't try. He has super sporty friends so it's tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not playing both piano and a sport? Piano teaches the left and right brain to work in harmony. Sport teaches mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitude. Piano will help your boys pick up sophisticate women when they get older while sport will help your sons improve their dating in high school. It is a win-win combination.

OP here -- I would love him to get into a sport. We've tried many and he just doesn't have the coordination for some reason. Even on rec teams with friends, it becomes quickly obvious that people won't pass to him b/c he can't catch, etc. He's not awkward in general but add in a ball and it's not good. And it becomes self-fufilling b/c the more he thinks he's bad at it, the more he won't try. He has super sporty friends so it's tough.

The fact that your kid plays piano shows that he has talents. For kids like yours, I don't think it is a good idea to put them in rec teams with friends. His personality fits more with individual sports like tennis or golf. Kids like that like to work alone by themselves. Tennis and golf are life time sports. Just because he can't catch the ball does not mean he is not a good athlete. The fact that he plays piano show that he is much smarter than most of the kids on the rec team.

I have three teenagers. Oldest son took up piano and tennis when he was six years old. Daugher took up violin and golf when she was 7 years old. Younger son took up piano and fencing when he was 7 years old. I don't think any of them can catch a pass even if their lives depend on it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twin boys and one isn't into sports at all. It's just not his talent or interest. But "what sports are you in?" seems to always be the first question an adult asks. I get it, people are trying to make conversation but it makes him feel awkward.

He'll say something like he plays piano but it's still a conversation stopper. Any good answers we're not thinking of? I feel like it's the child equivalent of "So what do you do?" that adults are always asked in DC (but at least they usually have an answer!). Thanks

Why not playing both piano and a sport? Piano teaches the left and right brain to work in harmony. Sport teaches mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitude. Piano will help your boys pick up sophisticate women when they get older while sport will help your sons improve their dating in high school. It is a win-win combination.

Please stop with the ridiculous cliche sports benefits. Mental toughness, perseverance and never quit attitudes can be learned in any milieu.
My high schooler has learned to be more tough than any of his peers because he has significant learning disabilities and he has to work 10 times as hard to get straight As. He's had straight As since 6th grade.
My daughter learned perseverance with her violin playing. She plays at a high level, and it's a work of detail and perfectionism.
The USA is obsessed with sports, yet has the highest rates of obesity in the developed world. Maybe instead of blindly revering anything sports-related, people should develop critical thinking skills.

Look, no one said that your kids should not play piano or violin. If they can play both, that is even better than just play violin by itself.

If they can play a sport on top of playing piano or violin, that is even better. Sports, jut like piano and violin, require hard work and a lot dedication if one wants to be good at it. Sports are different than violin and piano in the sense that you can get humiliated by your opponents because they run up the score, got bagel because you had a bad day. You just have to swallow your pride, don't have time to feel sorry for yourself because you will have to get ready to play again, knowing full well that it will happen again. Over time, you develop that mental toughness no matter the circumstances might be.

High level of work details and perfectionism are all good but what if you fail, what are you going to do? In sports, kids know that you're setup to fail but that does not mean you should not try.

In baseball, if you only succeed 3 of of 10 times at bat, you're a great hitter. It means that you fail 70% of the times at bat. That's what sports teach you.

music + sport > than just music in itself. The sum is always greater than the parts.

Why are you so obsessed with sports? People who engage in other activities also experience failure (at competitions or recitals, for example) and have to learn resilience.

Also, if you're really good at an instrument and want to perform at the highest levels, playing a sport that might result in injury to any part of your body required to play that instrument would be stupid.

[Anonymous]

Many kids do not play a particular sport competitively.

Personally though, everyone should do some forms of physical activity to stay in good condition.

I have a kid in college who switched from high school and club soccer to power lifting in college and he enjoys competing (club level stuff) now. My daughter, currently in grad school played college soccer for 4 years, but now runs and lifts. Swimming, running, lifting, tennis, and many others are all good. I would add golf, but I am proof that it alone is not great for keeping you in good shape.