Almost 5 year old crying at sports

[Anonymous]

Our almost 5 year old has the competitive spirit of a teenager and due to lacking fundamental emotional skills that a teenager has, he is having a meltdown at different sports activities over silly things. For example, yesterday at tball one of the parent coaches stopped the ball for the first baseman causing him to be “out.” A week or two before that at soccer there weren’t enough kids to play a scrimmage so the coach helped out one team which caused my son to start crying and saying that wasn’t fair. It’s pretty much a given that every time he will have some type of meltdown. I’m at a loss for what to do. Do I just take him home the moment he cries?

[Anonymous]

He's not ready. Simply opt out for now and reconsider in a year.

[Anonymous]

Your 4-year-old is not yet ready for competitive sports. Try again in a year if he's still interested.

[Anonymous]

My middle guy is now 7 and he has loved sports for a long time. When he was 5-6 he did have some sportsmanship issues but we keep focusing on good sportsmanship and I definitely think he’s gotten a lot better now at 7.

At minimum I would probably say he has to sit out until he’s done crying. If he throws a tantrum leave.
I think? That’s off the top of my head. Talk up good sportsmanship before the game.

[Anonymous]

I hate to make him quit all together because it’s a good outlet for energy and he is really into it and loves it — the issue definitely isn’t that he isn’t interested. I think I’m going to start instituting a rule that if he cries we will have to go home. Maybe after doing that once he will get that this is a big deal. These are activities designed for 4-5 year olds so he isn’t the only one crying — just the only one crying because he isn’t winging etc.

[Anonymous]

Try sports that are not team based, like karate, swimming, ice skating.

[Anonymous]

He clearly isn't ready, OP. You're pushing him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate to make him quit all together because it’s a good outlet for energy and he is really into it and loves it — the issue definitely isn’t that he isn’t interested. I think I’m going to start instituting a rule that if he cries we will have to go home. Maybe after doing that once he will get that this is a big deal. These are activities designed for 4-5 year olds so he isn’t the only one crying — just the only one crying because he isn’t winging etc.

Before you decide what to do, email the coach and ask how they would like you to handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to make him quit all together because it’s a good outlet for energy and he is really into it and loves it — the issue definitely isn’t that he isn’t interested. I think I’m going to start instituting a rule that if he cries we will have to go home. Maybe after doing that once he will get that this is a big deal. These are activities designed for 4-5 year olds so he isn’t the only one crying — just the only one crying because he isn’t winging etc.

Before you decide what to do, email the coach and ask how they would like you to handle it.

But don't you think coaches generally want more kids enrolled? It's a money thing.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t just quit, but I would use each time as a learning experience. First, I would point out things that don’t go your way and show him how you can get over it. Or tell him stories about when you were frustrated at his age and how you moved past it. Then practice taking deep breaths when he’s calm, not just upset. Make it a family thing, same time each day, like bedtime. Then when you’re heading to the game, talk about what could happen if something doesn’t go his way. Tell him if he cries and screams, he will have to sit on the side with you until he calms down. Then if it happens, pull him immediately and make him sit with you. Set a timer on your phone and tell him if he calms down he can go back, but if he’s not calm in 4 minutes you’re going home. Don’t get mad at him, don’t lecture him, just do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He clearly isn't ready, OP. You're pushing him.

This.

[Anonymous]

I generally don't recommend formal sports for kindergarten children. Way too young. What's the rush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate to make him quit all together because it’s a good outlet for energy and he is really into it and loves it — the issue definitely isn’t that he isn’t interested. I think I’m going to start instituting a rule that if he cries we will have to go home. Maybe after doing that once he will get that this is a big deal. These are activities designed for 4-5 year olds so he isn’t the only one crying — just the only one crying because he isn’t winging etc.

Before you decide what to do, email the coach and ask how they would like you to handle it.

But don't you think coaches generally want more kids enrolled? It's a money thing.

The coaches don't want people (the crying kid or those around him) having a bad experience all season because then they don't come back. The coach will be able to tell you whether they think they can handle the crying child (some kids really do respond better to a non-parent than to a parent in those situations), if they'd prefer to settle him off the field, etc.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't depend on some coach that I don't already know and trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't depend on some coach that I don't already know and trust.

You sound paranoid. If you can't trust the coach to try helping a kid settle down, learn sportsmanship, etc., you shouldn't have your kid in the sport at all.