Managing time and maturity

[Anonymous]

My kid needs constant reminders to do laundry (as an example), wake up in the morning so won't miss school or be tardy, search for summer work.
homework takes a lot of time to complete maybe due to distractions ( computer is needed for homework).
frequently skipping meals and being forgetful.

this is a high school senior and soon will go away to college.

Kind of worried about how the adjustment will be away from home.

Can you please share your experiences about how you helped your student succeed at college with better time management and organization skills.

[Anonymous]

He may have executive functioning issues...or just be spacey/immature.

Consider this workshop, if you can afford it:
http://thinkingorganized.com/next-stop-college/

Use technology (like phone alarms) for reminders.

You are going to have to bow out soon with reminders, since it will be their responsibility in college. Ask the student to devise some systems that he thinks would be effective (reminder post it's , paper planner, ap's, etc)

[Anonymous]

Gap year to work on life skills. You don’t want to be that parent texting with reminders to get up, finish assignments, etc.

He isn’t ready to go.

[Anonymous]

Your teen sounds completely normal, OP.

[Anonymous]

I thought I was on DCUM but no one has told you to stop coddling him, yet so I must have jumped to a different site.

I woke my DC every day of school their entire lives the same way.

It drove my DW crazy. She swore neither of them would be able to make it to class in college.

The thing is both DC had plenty of opportunities to learn how to wake themselves at summer camp and taking summer classes.

Similarly, I looked online at their grades and assignments every day all the way through school.

But I slowly stopped using the information to order them around.

[Anonymous]

My husband is 34 and still like this.

[Anonymous]

Gap year to work on life skills. You don’t want to be that parent texting with reminders to get up, finish assignments, etc.

He isn’t ready to go.

Don't listen to this, OP. You don't want to be that parent who doesn't let them go off on their own because some idiot on DCUM thinks gap years are the answer to everything.

[Anonymous]

My kid needs constant reminders to do laundry (as an example), wake up in the morning so won't miss school or be tardy, search for summer work.
homework takes a lot of time to complete maybe due to distractions ( computer is needed for homework).
frequently skipping meals and being forgetful.

this is a high school senior and soon will go away to college.

Kind of worried about how the adjustment will be away from home.

Can you please share your experiences about how you helped your student succeed at college with better time management and organization skills.

Starting now:
no wake-up reminders
no homework reminders
no laundry reminders

All students need a computer for homework, so this is not an issue.

Tell them that you are stopping these reminders because they have now gotten into college and you believe in them, but that they need to practice getting ready. Summer will be too late to do this, since they will no longer be in school.

You must stick to this, OP. Yes, their grades will slip, but better now than in freshman year. (NOTE: they will slip in freshman year anyway due to increased socializing).

[Anonymous]

Stop with the reminders.

He doesn’t wash clothes -> he wears dirty clothes.

He wakes up late for school —> he gets a tardy.

No summer job —> no spending money.

Even if your kid has a diagnosable EF disorder. You have to do this perhaps using some of the tools PP listed. It will take longer to get to self-sufficiency but you want these skills as built on by college as possible.

It is admittedly easier to do this stuff for him. Saves time and frustration to watch them fail. But that’s your job.

[Anonymous]

Once he left for college and we were no longer in the picture, he just did for himself. It wasn't perfect. There was a missed flight and probably things I didn't know about, but it all seems okay. Colleges are used to transitioning freshmen. I just stopped worrying about it. Although I can't resist dropping hints when I think it's about time to start planning next steps. I do that with friends too though.

[Anonymous]

Op - lots of reminders/support come from room mates in college and friends. Even new friends. Students tend to look out for each other. They are all somewhat vulnerable. Friendships are made pretty easy.

We recommend a lighter load first semester, 12 credits is still full time. We were willing to add a summer, if necessary.

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for your kind replies.

kid got into a very good program in a competitive college.
But because of the current high school grades slipping, and time management issues, asking kid to attend a less competitive school to avoid failing in college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you all for your kind replies.

kid got into a very good program in a competitive college.
But because of the current high school grades slipping, and time management issues, asking kid to attend a less competitive school to avoid failing in college.

Before you encourage him to go to a less competitive school, carefully consider: will he rise to the challenge of the competitive school or reduce his own expectations of himself if he goes to the less competitive one? Or will he benefit from a lower pressure environment and be more successful at the less competitive school?

[Anonymous]

It is much easier to transfer from a more competitive school to less. Be the believer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you all for your kind replies.

kid got into a very good program in a competitive college.
But because of the current high school grades slipping, and time management issues, asking kid to attend a less competitive school to avoid failing in college.

I said above that you need to stop doing all the reminders. Which I still think.

However, the issues you describe are going to plague your child at any university, highly competitive of not. And punishing your kid for the way you have raised him — you helped create this situation - is cruel and unwise.