Have you ever contacted an ex after many years pass by? Or on receiving end of email/FB/Linkedin?

[Anonymous]

If you initiated the contact, what made you do it? Who had broken it off, the person who initiated or the person who responded? How/why had it ended in the first place? Did you regret being in touch again and are you still in touch?

[Anonymous]

If it is from Facebook or LinkedIn it is probably an auto generated invite email if they allowed one of those platforms access to their contacts.

[Anonymous]

Sure. I’m friends with most of my ex-boyfriends on FB. Some I had lost contact with over time and reconnected there. In fact, my DH and I got to hang out with my HS BF last year when we were in his town for a few days. Hadn’t seen him in maybe 20 years.

Of the 4 I recall quickly, I was the dumper in 2 and the dumpee in the other 2 (one of those breakups was devastating at the time). No big deal, wish them all well.

[Anonymous]

Man here. I did once. I was unhappy about how the relationship ended and my role in that. I reached out and she was receptive. I apologized and she indicated that my concerns were unwarranted. We went our separate ways.

[Anonymous]

My exboyfriend from high school and college contacted me on Facebook. He had dumped me 15 years ago. We are married now. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it is from Facebook or LinkedIn it is probably an auto generated invite email if they allowed one of those platforms access to their contacts.

This is not true unless they just created a new account. The far more likely scenario is that the ex is reaching out. It happens to me all of the time.

[Anonymous]

An ex-boyfriend and I run in the same professional circle and very recently ran into each other at a professional event. He texted me a few days later and we ended up grabbing a coffee one day.

Our breakup was pretty messy (personally, not professionally - he ended up marrying the woman he was cheating on me with) and I think he wanted to make amends. Both of us are married, his wife just had their first child.

It was bittersweet to catch up. He was definitely the first person I loved and to be honest, I think a small part of me will always care for him. I’ve long said that he did something crappy, but that doesn’t mean he’s a crappy person, and our coffee solidified that feeling. He reached out again about a week later and I didn’t respond. I’m happily married and wouldn’t think my husband would be thrilled about us having a friendship and there will always be a lot of pain and hurt associated with the entire relationship and TBH, I don’t see anything good coming out of us continuing to talk. I wish I could be mature and have a friendship with someone who I spent half a decade with, but maybe the goal posts of maturity have changed for my personal situation and that’s knowing that I shouldn’t even attempt to have him in my life. Who knows?

[Anonymous]

I haven't but several have contacted me. My high school boyfriend. He broke up with me when we got to college, which was the right thing to do but hurtful at the time. We are in regular communication. A college boyfriend that I broke up with, terribly, that I apologized to and we check in from time to time. Two we broke up because they cheated and they went on about regrets and I was the one who got away blahblah. I ignored. One who broke up with me, but in our brief conversation (he reached out because a mutual friend had died suddenly) reminded me that he was a total asshole and our breaking up was the best thing that ever happened to me. One guy that I dated briefly (I'm talking two dates!) who reached out to me randomly because he was trying to hide his kid from his wife (neither of us were married when we dated to be clear) and wanted to know if he could bring her to my house. I ignored that and blocked him.

[Anonymous]

I'm a lesbian - my very first "girlfriend" recently messaged me through FB. She was batshit crazy. She catfished me before catfishing was even a thing (this was in the late 90's, so when folks met others through chat rooms, etc.). I could see her message, but didn't accept it and didn't respond. I do not care for that level of crazy in my life again.

[Anonymous]

Ex-husband did. I was happily re-married and knew how he rolled, so ignored. Another ex-boyfriend did too and I immediately knew he was probably getting divorced. He was. We instant messaged briefly and I told him I was sorry to hear about his wife leaving him, but I was happily married. We are still FB friends but don't communicate beyond that.

[Anonymous]

I've been on the receiving end likely bot driven so I haven't responded. If I had they might respond and think I was reaching out. I've moved on and I'm happy and I hope they are.

[Anonymous]

I was on the receiving end and my ex emailed through the general Contact Us form on my employer's website. Not cool at all. Don't ever do that! He couldn't find me on Facebook because my account is private, but he found me listed on the staff page and figured that was a viable option of contacting me. So awkward because I was not the one who fielded those emails. I yelled at him (via email) and told him not to contact me again. Didn't want to hear from him anyway, but was so damn annoyed to have been contacted that way.

[Anonymous]

I had responded that I was going to attend my 20th HS reunion and an old BF reached out to me to tell me he was going and looked forward to seeing me again. I responded politely but briefly. I was visiting my parents and my DH was home taking care of our kids so I went to the reunion alone. The old BF is divorced and still lives in town and he spent half the evening hitting on me. He was the HS jock who peaked in HS and has been drifting south ever since. A few days later I got another email from him and then blocked him. Yuck!

[Anonymous]

I did some time last year with my ex from college. We hadn't spoke in over 10 years. I don't know what made me do it. I always wondered what he was up to and we have a lot of mutual friends.

Things had ended up on a somewhat sour note and I always wished they hadn't since I am on good terms with pretty much every other guy I've had relationships with.

He was receptive to me reaching out and it felt good to catch up. Like a trip down memory lane. I haven't spoken to him in several months but we're on good terms.

[Anonymous]

Man on the receiving end from college girlfriend. She is married with two grown kids so I have no idea why she contacts me. It has been 30 years since we dated. She is the one who dumped me and am not interested in any conversation of any kind.

Personally, I think contact someone after many years can never lead to anything positive. The past is the past.