paternity/maternity testing

[Anonymous]

Ok, so I know this sounds awful, but we got pregnant through IVF (ICSI) using both my eggs and DHs sperm. After hearing about that one woman who gave birth to someone else's child through a mix-up, I can't get it out of my head. I'd just love to have that security of KNOWING (and no idea what I'd do if we got bad results). Has anyone else felt this way or gotten themselves and their DC tested? If so, how did you do it? Are this swab kits online worth it?

[Anonymous]

Well I can honestly say with all the things we had to worry about with IVF that was not one that even entered my mind until all the press about it.

[Anonymous]

Never crossed my mind though we used to joke that the IVF doc was the dad. Then my twins were born and they looked like BOTH of us, so we had no concerns.

[Anonymous]

Never crossed my mind though we used to joke that the IVF doc was the dad. Then my twins were born and they looked like BOTH of us, so we had no concerns.

[Anonymous]

My DD looked nothing like me (but just like her dad) when she was born, and I was irrationally convinced that the docs had used the wrong egg for about a week postpartum. The worry faded when I started having less hypothetical worries (illness, childcare, etc.). Now I everyone thinks she looks just like me. So I'd say give it some time, and if you still have that worry, do a test, but my guess is that the worry will fade.

[Anonymous]

We joked about it. (It was IUI, so I was only worried about it not being DHs...). And, I'll admit I was a little worried for real. Luckily DC's ears are exact replicas of DHs so I knew it was his from day 1. Plus if you saw the kids now, there is no way you'd doubt their paternity.

Once the child arrives you'll probably be reassured.

[Anonymous]

Mine was IUI and sometimes I do "dream" that when the baby is born and they give it to me it will be completely different than us.

[Anonymous]

OP here - my child has arrived, and neither my husband or I particularly think he looks like us! He's adorable - totally - but we just don't see the resemblance other than that he's the same skin color as us....

[Anonymous]

Dd conceived naturally didn't look like either of us when she was born. She really didn't start looking like either of us until she was at least 6 months old. At 4, she looks more like my brother did as a child than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - my child has arrived, and neither my husband or I particularly think he looks like us! He's adorable - totally - but we just don't see the resemblance other than that he's the same skin color as us....

Would you REALLY want to know if he was not your genetic child? Because if he is not, what will you do? Are you ready to "give" him away? To give him to his genetic parents (because if they didn't agree to "donate" their material they might win custody in a possible court case)... just things to consider.

[Anonymous]

it's time to stop worrying! you got pregnant, had a healthy child, ENJOY. the chance of the mix up occurring is extremely rare, seriously. if you must (and trust me i understand the need to worry) worry about something real, like swine flu, school choice, or the millions of other real-life concerns out there facing parents.

[Anonymous]

We got pg through IVF. DD didn't really look like either of us at birth (although she looks a lot like me now). I think that DH was always concerned about a mix-up in the lab. We struggled with the decision... thinking that we didn't really *care* if she was our biological child, since we were prepared to adopt. However, we wanted to know for medical reasons. We found ourselves "wondering" from time to time... so we finally got DNA tests. It was pretty easy. We found a reputable lab that mailed us a kit with swabs (two each, for in the mouth for mom, dad, and child). There are two prices: one if you need the results for a court...then they will prove chain of custody (and you need to go to a lab for the initial swabbing). The second price is for someone who just wants the answer themselves -- and is cheaper. I think it was around $250. They tell you with a 99.999% accuracy. Ultimately, I'm glad that we got the test because it put any doubts to rest (she's definitely our child).