Do you let your middle schooler take their phone to school?

[Anonymous]

My 14 YO 8th grader DD has an iphone but no service plan (can just use it with wifi).

She wants to bring it to school to listen to music on the bus but my DH and I are against it. Why? I know she's going to use it in school and she needs to focus. Also it's a super expensive phone and I am afraid it's going to get stolen. I would rather find an alternative for her to listen to her music on the bus than her having her iphone.

She doesn't need to call/text me during the day - our lives aren't that complicated! - and is allowed to bring it when she has an after-school activity that might run late or something.

Anyone else say no to the phone at school?

[Anonymous]

My sixth grader takes her 1990s-style phone to school because she walks to and from and needs to text me when she is coming and going. She doesn’t have an iPhone. If you don’t want your DD on the internet, get her a dumb phone or another way to play music than her iPhone.

[Anonymous]

In my little corner of MCPS, the majority of middle schoolers bring their phones to school, comply with the rules on not using it during class, and have data plans. Heck, half the 5th grade girls at my child's elementary have phones too (with data plans). Some have the newest iPhones, some have the second newest because it's their parents' cast-off, and some have non-Apple products that look just as snazzy.

We're the outliers. My 8th grader just got a iphone 6, withOUT a data plan and it's to call me if he misses his bus or has to text about something urgent, like his multiple allergies and health issues. Yes, he takes it to school but keeps it in his backpack and the backpack is in the locker. He doesn't take it out on the bus because he gets carsick if he tried to text on the bus

[Anonymous]

My 6th grader has my old iPhone with no service plan, but she's not allowed to take it to school. She uses it only for music and apps, and texting with friends with Apple devices (on wifi).

She has a flip phone for texting/calling us if she needs to adjust bus/walking arrangements. iPhone will not go to school for the foreseeable future.

[Anonymous]

I would let her take it to school, wouldn't you like to listen to music/ to fro school on the bus. Maybe she has no one to talk with. Maybe she just wants to listen to music. She can't text or look at bad stuff if there is no service. Start small, pick your battles. Soon she'll have unfettered access. Help out by starting small and seeing how she does

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let her take it to school, wouldn't you like to listen to music/ to fro school on the bus. Maybe she has no one to talk with. Maybe she just wants to listen to music. She can't text or look at bad stuff if there is no service. Start small, pick your battles. Soon she'll have unfettered access. Help out by starting small and seeing how she does

Also, why would she have a super expensive iPhone with no service? That part doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

this is not a child who should have a super expensive phone.

[Anonymous]

Yes she should get to use it on the bus for music, and yes she should keep it in her locker during the day like all the kids are told to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes she should get to use it on the bus for music, and yes she should keep it in her locker during the day like all the kids are told to.

This.

Let the school discipline for school rules.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but our 8th grader walks about a mile to and from school and frequently goes to a store or home with a friend after school. We can text and call to approve these plans, plus I routinely use the “find my phone” feature to see where he is.

Lots of kids at his school have phones, and there are strict rules about their use. They have to lock them up in their lockers during the day, but can use them briefly between classes if they need to contact their parents for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would let her take it to school, wouldn't you like to listen to music/ to fro school on the bus. Maybe she has no one to talk with. Maybe she just wants to listen to music. She can't text or look at bad stuff if there is no service. Start small, pick your battles. Soon she'll have unfettered access. Help out by starting small and seeing how she does

+1

You’re being too rigid, OP. Most kids this age have phones and use them trsponsibly at school. Unless your daughter has given you reason to not trust, I think you should give her a chance. Also, having access to a phone is good for safety. I teach middle school students if this is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but our 8th grader walks about a mile to and from school and frequently goes to a store or home with a friend after school. We can text and call to approve these plans, plus I routinely use the “find my phone” feature to see where he is.

Lots of kids at his school have phones, and there are strict rules about their use. They have to lock them up in their lockers during the day, but can use them briefly between classes if they need to contact their parents for some reason.

This is exactly why ours has a phone too. We can find her and call and text when she’s on her way home. She walks so I have it to set up to notify me when she leaves school and when she arrives home.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my MS kid and my 5th grader both take their phones to school. Every kid in my 5th graders class has a phone! I was shocked and gave her an old iPhone to listen to music on the bus. My MS kid has a few teachers who let them listen to their music while doing work if the class has been good.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what I would do you in your situation. My middle schooler has a phone. He turns it off and keeps it in his backpack while he is at school. He turns it on after school. I guess get her an old ipod shuffle if you want to be sure she is ONLY listening to music.

[Anonymous]

1 in HS, 1 in MS. Both had phones in school starting in sixth grade. They learned not to have it out in school by having it taken away from them when they tried.