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My sister is engaged! What do I do to help out?
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Anonymous
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Hi all!
My sister just announced her engagement, and we're all really excited. However, this is the first wedding in our family, and my first time as a bridesmaid, and Maid of Honor. So now I'm curious: what do I DO to help her out? What did you find most helpful at your wedding, and in the planning stages? What did you WISH your bridemaids had done? What websites, magazines, etc. should I check out? I should note, she's in New Hampshire (along with our parents), so I won't be seeing her that often. She'll be 26 at the wedding, which will be in November. Thanks for any advice! |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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The most helpful thing for me was to give my sister (my maid of honor) a list of things that had to be done, about 3 days before the wedding (last minute details) and then have her do them and just ask me if she had questions about them.
You should ask her how active of a role she wants you to take. Does she want you to contact caterers and etc., would she rather have you make follow-up calls to them, or does she want to take care of all of those details herself? |
Anonymous
| I think it depends on what kind of person she is. For some friends who were a bit disorganized, I sent them links to potential reception sites, maybe ideas from the knot. For folks who had their act together the day of was much more important -- making sure I had their make-up on hand in my purse for touch-ups, keeping track of folks and flowers, etc. Why don't you pick up a couple of bridal magazines and send them to her with a wedding planner? That might be a fun congrats gift. |
Anonymous
| i think the most helpful thing you can do is to be a nag. but if you've never been involved in a wedding before, you might not know what to nag about. find an exhaustive to-do list... you will quickly find that there are millions of decisions to be made, and you will also quickly find that the bride will get extremely exhausted just thinking about them. lots of brides then go into avoidance mode and need a nagger. some brides hire them-- they're called wedding planners. if she doesn't have a planner, then be prepared to become a huge nag. |
Anonymous
| I really liked this web site, esp. the forums (which had a lot of good ideas): http://www.indiebride.com/ |
Anonymous
| As a maid of honor, you can throw a bridal shower (or bachelorette party). When I got married, my maid of honor lived out of state as well. So there wasn't a whole lot that she could be involved with. But it was just nice to have her support and share in the excitement. |
Anonymous
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Much depends on what role she wants and what role she wants you in ...and perhaps your mom's role and soon-to-be BIL. (I had an aunt was was upset that sisters/ others came with her and soon to be bride to try on dresses the first time. She wanted it to be just the two of them).
Perhaps start by asking if there is a w/e you could come home and help out with decisions, contacts, errands,etc. As a veterans BM and MoH (12 times!) here are some other favorites - help her enjoy the process, not just the day - keep things light and 'rescue' her, even with a phone call, cards, emails if things get stressful - save the memories now in some way. Since you are not there have others take pictures of different events you may not be able to attend -find helpful organizational tools - there are many websites that have them. - Make sure you get other wedding participants organized efore and during the event(s) - One thing I did while a BM - I asked what groups she really wanted pictures of /with at the wedding - I made a list w/ her and worked with the photographer to get all the pictures she wanted...the photographer woudl not know the people to gather together Have fun...I loved helping others plan their weddings much more than I did my own! |