Parental over-reaction?
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Anonymous
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Would love perspective on this situation as I’m not sure if my reaction to the situation is off-base.
DH and I were out of town when it was rainy and our child was outside playing with Larla. Larla suggested they p,ay umbrella tag and apparently our child just missed hitting Larla in the eye with the umbrella. Larla runs straight inside to tell parents before my child can even apologize and my child is very upset that they hurt a friend. Larla’s Mom texts me saying - “I know you are out of town but your child almost hit Larla in the eye and so they will not be allowed to play with Larla again.” I was very upset to hear about this and reached out to grandparents that were watching child...they told me it was Larla’s idea to play the game and had spoken to child. I responded to neighbor stating that I was very sorry to hear Larla was hurt and child felt awful they didn’t get to apologize. I also said apparently this was Larla’s idea and obviously not a good choice to play such a dangerous game. Needless to say no response back and the only thing that happened is Larla’s dad asked our child when we would be home. My take - yes that is very scary to hear your child almost got poked in the eye but kids also make bad choices and accidents happen. I felt their reaction of banishing them from playing was over the top and while I would have felt that way too and have in the past, I normally let things settled before texting. So now I’m pretty annoyed with neighbor because I feel they somehow think our child would maliciously hurt theirs and am dreading the fact that they want to discuss further. I would also add that they are never out watching the kids when I often am supervising. Would welcome other folks perspective here....do I need a gut check? Should I tell child they are banned from playing with this kid? We have already had the talk about making better choices. Am I wrong to be peeved with the parents because I think they over reacted and ruined my first vacation without kids in years? |
Anonymous
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This is not a big deal and nothing happened. My DD got a black eye once when a friend (boy 1 year older) threw a small but hard ball at her eye. They were playing, he did not mean to hurt her and she was throwing balls at him too. Stupid game obviously and I felt bad for my DD. The boy and his dad apologized. They were back playing the following day.
If I thought the boy wanted to hurt her, then I would Not want my kids around that boy, but if it was an accident, I would not react that way. Sorry OP... relax... enjoy your vacation pls! |
Anonymous
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How old are they? Young enough to make such a bad choice means maybe too young not to be supervised?
Whatever...their parents get to decide who their kid plays with. I probably would not announce what they said to your kid in case it changes. Just play it by ear when you get back but otherwise don’t worry about it. Don’t let it ruin a good time - really, it’s a minor thing. |
Anonymous
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I’d be wary of letting my kid play with a neighbor whose parents are crazy. Larla’s parents have shown you who they are. Believe them.
Kids do dumb stuff, like play umbrella tag. You either accept that kids do dumb stuff and sometimes get hurt, or you supervise them 24/7. I let mine make mistakes and learn from them, but not everyone agrees that this is the best philosophy. Whatever you do, don’t beg them to let your kid play with Larla. She can’t be that great, and it only feeds the beast. |
Anonymous
| They overreacted obviously, but they are probably just like that as evidenced by their child running in and tattling. You aren’t going to win no matter what in this situation. I’d say something like I’m sorry that you feel like our kids aren’t mature enough to play together, and leave it at that. It I’m a little confrontational when faced like situations like this. |
Anonymous
| youre not going to win with this family. 15 years from now larla will be the one buying alcohol and say her friends drank it. |
Anonymous
| They panicked. Have your daughter write the other girl an apology note and give them space otherwise. |
Anonymous
| Having been on the other side of this yesterday when my daughter was injured by our neighbor's son, I can tell you that my reaction was that kids will be kids and all has been forgiven. So yes, I think your neighbor way overreacted and they probably did you a favor by letting you know now how crazy they are so you can steer clear of them in the future. I wouldn't even engage them again on it - they showed their true colors and you'll just be talking to a wall. You will probably be forced to face the issue with your kid at some point, but I wouldn't tell them they can't play with the neighbor kid or tell them why because your child will feel awful for no reason. I'd just make up excuses and hope time passes and they chill out and apologize. |
Anonymous
| You will slowly weed out people like this. |
Anonymous
| Umbrella tag, no parental supervision. Of course this happened. I would agree given they didn't supervise the girls and umbrellas are not toys. |
Anonymous
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Just missed hitting her in the eye as in didn't hit her at all, or hit her elsewhere in the face?
How old are the kids? |
Anonymous
| Steer clear of crazy. Kids do dumb things. Kids get hurt sometimes. I would avoid anyone who doesn’t accept this like the plague. Accept what they told you at face value - your child will not be playing with Larla again. |
Anonymous
| Don't parents just yell "stop that before you put someone's eye out!" anymore? |
Anonymous
No need for your child to write an apology note. That’s going totally overboard for this situation. Kids do dumb things. No one got hurt. Don’t let the other parents bully you into saying anything other than sorry it happened and glad she’s all right. Don’t accept responsibility if they try to blame your child and dont blame their daughter. |
Anonymous
This is the parents fault for allowing kids to hit each other with the umbrellas and didn't supervise. |