When do you cutoff communication?

[Anonymous]

My spouse has a terrible issue with resentment. Whenever I make a mistake he holds onto to it forever. He likes to talk about my wrongs angrily over and over. I'm considering telling him there are certain past grievances I am no longer willing to talk about with him. I've heard and and acknowledged his point of view many times, apologized, change behavior and now I'm over rehashing it. Is cutting off communication on certain topics reasonable?

[Anonymous]

Yep. I was in a relationship with someone like this. It's not a tenable situation.

"Since we've discussed this many times, I've apologized for it, and changed my behavior, I don't see the point of rehashing this yet again. The subject is closed, Joel."

[Anonymous]

Yiy are being emotionally abused. Classic signs. You need to seek help and find out why you chose, and are staying in this relationship.

[Anonymous]

There is a book like the love languages, called the apology languages. For some people they don’t feel an apology is an apology unless it’s a type that they appreciate.

1. Repentance
2. Responsibility
3. Regret
4. Restitution
5. Asking for Forgiveness

https://verilymag.com/2016/08/5-love-languages-how-to-apologize-properly-5-languages-of-apology

Try a different way of apologizing first, if that doesn’t work then yes draw the line of discussion. But beware that unresolved conflict breeds resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a book like the love languages, called the apology languages. For some people they don’t feel an apology is an apology unless it’s a type that they appreciate.

1. Repentance
2. Responsibility
3. Regret
4. Restitution
5. Asking for Forgiveness

https://verilymag.com/2016/08/5-love-languages-how-to-apologize-properly-5-languages-of-apology

Try a different way of apologizing first, if that doesn’t work then yes draw the line of discussion. But beware that unresolved conflict breeds resentment.

Thanks, this very helpful.

[Anonymous]

OP - Have you tried any of the advice

[Anonymous]

This is my husband. And it sucks! Everyone argument leads back to, “well, remember that time when you...” yep, I do. You will never let it go