Sleep away camp it is- only alternative for my kids since I cannot get them off TV & electronics

[Anonymous]

Last year one week, this year two weeks. Next year I may jump up to 4 weeks. The addiction is so bad (10&12 year old); i’m Beside myself. I feel awful about sending them away but that’s the only way I can get them to take a break- doesnt help that my husband gave them a phone. Am I a bad mom?

[Anonymous]

Huh? Sleepaway camp is fine but are there no full day programs where you are that dont allow kids to stare mindlessly at electronics?

[Anonymous]

I am going to go out on a limb here and say you are the parent so you control what your kids watch at 10 & 12 and when they watch it. If you can't you are in for a rough ride over the next few years.

[Anonymous]

Why aren’t you able to set limits with your kids?

[Anonymous]

You need to take the devices away, make them go cold turkey for a full week. Instruct them to read, play board games etc. to relax during that week. Then allow them back for a fixed amount of time each day once all homework and chores are completed to your satisfaction (we allow 45 mins on school nights, up to 2 hours on weekend days).

Don't put this on camp. You're the parent. Parent.

[Anonymous]

Sleepaway camp is a wonderful experience for children and I think two weeks is the perfect getaway for them. It's a chance to get not only fresh air and adventure but also cultivate independence. I don't think you are a bad mom at all, but you do still need to have control over electronics the other weeks of the year. It isn't a cure, sleep away . They still return to your home and will be begging for electronics because they won't have the physical freedom and group entertainment of camp.

Personally, I keep my kids busy with sports to help them get off screens. And zero screen time on weekdays.

[Anonymous]

You can take a way the phone. Stop paying for a data plan. Turn off WiFi etc.

[Anonymous]

Camp is an easy way to do this, while giving them an otherwise great experience. It is, however, a very expensive way of doing this. Send them to sleep away if you want them to have that experience and can afford it. The no-tech is a great benefit.

[Anonymous]

Bandaid solution. The screens will be there when they get back unless you do something about it.

[Anonymous]

Do the camps. It'll be good for them in many more ways than just regarding screens. But at home you can:

--No devices (and that includes phones) in bedrooms, ever, period
--Turn off WiFi Monday through Friday except for certain specific hours when it's used for homework
--Any homework done on a screen is done in a "public area" of the house, like a dining room table or kitchen table, where you can easily walk past and see what's on the screen (and do just that as you move around doing chores or starting dinner etc.)
--No television/movies/YouTube/gaming or other screen entertainment Monday through Thursday; on Fridays they can watch/play whatever amount you decide to allow for Friday after-school chilling out, if you want
--A family policy on using screens Friday-Sunday. How many hours of entertainment and personal screen time are they allowed on weekends now? What do you want that to be, going forward? An hour on Fridays, two on Saturdays, two on Sundays, more, less? Do they have to show completed homework to get their screen time, or whatever--? Plenty of parents here will chime in with how they do things and you can learn from them, but you have to work with your DH so you are both on the same page about what is OK and what is too much
--A policy of losing the privilege of screen time if....and you decide what the "if" is. They need to learn it's a privilege and not a right.
--If they carry the phones to school to keep in touch with you and dad, you can set things so they can only use the phones to call certain numbers, take calls from certain numbers, and text specific people. Id' limit that to solely you, dad and whoever are their designated adults who would pick them up in emergencies etc. You can reset on weekends if you let them text or call or FaceTime with friends. If they have a computer in their pockets at school, which is essentially what a smartphone is, they are going to get online; if they really are bad about this, you can strip things back so they can't do that or call or text anyone but you adults.

Now someone will post that this will make them social pariahs. They'll survive. You could pick and choose from the list above and not go that far if you don't want to--you know them best. I'm just saying, you can cut back their screens but will need to be willing to go hard on them. I've read on DCUM about some parents who change the wifi password sometimes daily so the kids have to ask for it every time they want to go online, which means the parents know they ARE going online. Tough on the parents too but people say it can help....

Be sure you replace screen time with doing more things as a family AND with being sure they do more with their friends -- "do more" as in going out and being active (does not have to be organized sports), join something like Scouts or school clubs or otherwise get out and do service with other kids (a lot of middle schools now have service clubs), etc. I'm not saying cut them off from friends and yes, with friends on weekends they definitely should be able to mess around a bit on YouTube seeing stuff that's appropriate or watching movies etc. But I'd start a strict no-screens policy for school nights at the very least and monitor how they use the Internet at home for their homework.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the camps. It'll be good for them in many more ways than just regarding screens. But at home you can:

--No devices (and that includes phones) in bedrooms, ever, period
--Turn off WiFi Monday through Friday except for certain specific hours when it's used for homework
--Any homework done on a screen is done in a "public area" of the house, like a dining room table or kitchen table, where you can easily walk past and see what's on the screen (and do just that as you move around doing chores or starting dinner etc.)
--No television/movies/YouTube/gaming or other screen entertainment Monday through Thursday; on Fridays they can watch/play whatever amount you decide to allow for Friday after-school chilling out, if you want
--A family policy on using screens Friday-Sunday. How many hours of entertainment and personal screen time are they allowed on weekends now? What do you want that to be, going forward? An hour on Fridays, two on Saturdays, two on Sundays, more, less? Do they have to show completed homework to get their screen time, or whatever--? Plenty of parents here will chime in with how they do things and you can learn from them, but you have to work with your DH so you are both on the same page about what is OK and what is too much
--A policy of losing the privilege of screen time if....and you decide what the "if" is. They need to learn it's a privilege and not a right.
--If they carry the phones to school to keep in touch with you and dad, you can set things so they can only use the phones to call certain numbers, take calls from certain numbers, and text specific people. Id' limit that to solely you, dad and whoever are their designated adults who would pick them up in emergencies etc. You can reset on weekends if you let them text or call or FaceTime with friends. If they have a computer in their pockets at school, which is essentially what a smartphone is, they are going to get online; if they really are bad about this, you can strip things back so they can't do that or call or text anyone but you adults.

Now someone will post that this will make them social pariahs. They'll survive. You could pick and choose from the list above and not go that far if you don't want to--you know them best. I'm just saying, you can cut back their screens but will need to be willing to go hard on them. I've read on DCUM about some parents who change the wifi password sometimes daily so the kids have to ask for it every time they want to go online, which means the parents know they ARE going online. Tough on the parents too but people say it can help....

Be sure you replace screen time with doing more things as a family AND with being sure they do more with their friends -- "do more" as in going out and being active (does not have to be organized sports), join something like Scouts or school clubs or otherwise get out and do service with other kids (a lot of middle schools now have service clubs), etc. I'm not saying cut them off from friends and yes, with friends on weekends they definitely should be able to mess around a bit on YouTube seeing stuff that's appropriate or watching movies etc. But I'd start a strict no-screens policy for school nights at the very least and monitor how they use the Internet at home for their homework.

Love this, I wish I could I get my husband on board. Turning off the WiFi is great idea; when my husband is out of town I will do that.

[Anonymous]

send them for the whole summer. i loved camp.

[Anonymous]

Sleep away camp was a huge highlight of my childhood/teenage years. If the kids like it you are giving them a great experience, you’re not a bad mom!

[Anonymous]

Seriously: why can’t you just take the phones away?

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't day camp solve this?

And .... yikes.