SAHMs with no help and kids 0-5 — how much time do you spend on chores?

[Anonymous]

Thinking of making this transition, and I wonder how much time it would take to clean, cook, tidy, and do errands. Is your mind occupied a lot with home management stuff? Or do you purposefully set that all aside so you can spend quality time with the children during the day?

[Anonymous]

When DH and I agreed that I will SAHM, I was adamant that I will continue to outsource, cleaning and yard work. This actually enabled me to be a calm, happy mom to my kids and I could use my energy in providing the appropriate enrichment to them at home. In other words, it was more important for me to take them to the park, zoo, museum then cleaning the bathroom. Even though a clean, uncluttered home where we can live in an organized manner and entertain was essential for us and for our kids mental, emotional, social, physical growth.

[Anonymous]

Same. We had a weekly cleaner. I managed to make some dinners. You don’t have to do it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When DH and I agreed that I will SAHM, I was adamant that I will continue to outsource, cleaning and yard work. This actually enabled me to be a calm, happy mom to my kids and I could use my energy in providing the appropriate enrichment to them at home. In other words, it was more important for me to take them to the park, zoo, museum then cleaning the bathroom. Even though a clean, uncluttered home where we can live in an organized manner and entertain was essential for us and for our kids mental, emotional, social, physical growth.

To continue...OP, in your case, without any help, you and your DH, both will continue to put in time towards tackling chores on the weekends and after work. You will only be able to tackle a small amount of chores if you are also providing full care to your kids. Regardless of if your kids are in day care or home, they still need to be looked after, fed, cleaned, played with, read to etc.

[Anonymous]

I cook all our meals (except for DH breakfast), do all the laundry (DH folds and puts away his own clothes), do grocery shopping with my daughter Friday mornings, and vacuum on a weekend morning while my husband takes our daughter somewhere. My house is tidy but not super clean - I clean the toilets, wipe surfaces, etc as needed, but not often enough.... I would do more cleaning during my daughter’s nap, but I’m pregnant and need that time to rest and do a workout. Yardwork is outsourced.

[Anonymous]

When I was a sahm, I didn’t have the money for cleaners or lawn people. I cooked a lot and got the dishes done daily, laundry laundry laundry (always laundry), but my bathrooms weren’t spic and span and we were a clutter house with toys. So I felt like I did a lot, but it was never enough. This was not dh’s fault, he worked 80-100 hours a week at the time so when he was home we just tried to be as a family.

[Anonymous]

Our system (kids 9 months, 3). DH is responsible for unloading the dishwasher before he leaves for work.

I get kids up and dressed then throw all their/our laundry into the washer. I don’t sort; everything gets washed on cool on delicate cycle. I do loads of sheets and towels on hot over the weekend.

Kids and I do breakfast and while they are eating I prep lunch/snack. I grab a few bites but never really sit down. I usually grab a piece of fruit to take with me.

We leave and do an outing. One day per week this outing is running boring grownup errands that take twice as long on the weekend (dry cleaner, oil change, etc.). The other 4 are outings for the kids that they enjoy and where I am focused on them. We pretty much always eat snack/lunch as we go and the baby takes a nap in the baby carrier around 9.

We get home around 12:30 and I put both kids down for nap right away. Rotate laundry to dryer before coming downstairs.

At that time I nap for 20 minutes myself. Then I quickly set up an activity for 3yo when she wakes up (playdough, sensory bin, art supplies, etc.) I start prepping dinner so that it is ready (we usually eat something from the crock pot or baked in the over or rice cooker). I make dinner every night but I minimize the amount of work I have to do during the witching hour by setting it all up during nap. I also load all the breakfast dishes and lunch containers at this time and all the dinner prep dishes.

3yo either naps for an hour and a half or not at all. If not at all I get her up at 45 minutes and let her work on the project while I finish. If an hour and a half same thing but she just gets less time before the baby is up.

Afternoons I fold laundry, maybe sweep or vaccuum and do little organizational projects in the playroom or kids’ rooms while they play with toys.

I clean the bathroom while they play in the bath (I come back and do the tub/shower later). After they are in bed I sweep the kitchen, wipe counters and load dinner dishes then I am done. If DH is home he helps with kitchen cleanup.

[Anonymous]

We have 3 kids and a weekly cleaning lady. I try to save chores for then the kids are awake and around because I think it’s good for them to see that there’s work to do and for them to help do it. I used to do chores during naps, but never again!

[Anonymous]

I feel like I’m constantly cleaning.

[Anonymous]

I agree PP 07:00. I always rest/read when the children nap.

[Anonymous]

I don’t do a lot of housework. Yardwork is outsourced. I’m okay with dishes on the counter until bedtime. I rest at naptime. Decide what you are and aren’t comfortable with. You can’t do it all. You’d drive yourself crazy if you tried. My #1 priority is to ENJOY my children. I love being home with them. It’s such a gift.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you should outsource if you can. I work but I'm a teacher, so I'm home in the summer and vacation weeks. I have a person clean for us every two weeks. Even when I'm home, keeping up with the dishes, laundry, trash removal and cooking takes up plenty of time.

Weekly cleaning would be even better, but can't quite afford that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have 3 kids and a weekly cleaning lady. I try to save chores for then the kids are awake and around because I think it’s good for them to see that there’s work to do and for them to help do it. I used to do chores during naps, but never again!

+1
...except I do chores during naps. I like the satisfaction and instant gratification of a clean sparkly bathroom, kitchen counter top, floors, etc.

I spread out the cleaning/errands throughout the week and tackle the worst/heavily traffic area first and more frequently. Plus, I have life hacks to streamline everything and be more efficient. THe kids "help" too even if it is a small contribution (taking clothes out of the dryer and bringing the basket upstairs, unloading dishwasher, pushing recycling bin to curb, gathering up all the dirty linens from the bathroom, etc.).

I figured this is pretty standard for SAHMs...do most SAHMs have cleaning people? Wasn't that part of the package deal of being a SAHP?

[Anonymous]

I don’t do the cleaning (aside from wiping counters and sweeping/vacuuming serious messes), I pay $100 every two weeks for some pros. But I do everything else — laundry, tidying (about ten minutes a day), cooking from scratch every day. Kids are 6, 3, 10mo.

[Anonymous]

I needed housecleaning way more now that I’m a SAHM. I’m constantly picking up and vacuuming Cheerios off the ground. No time for deep cleaning with little kids around.

I know some couples that clean on weekends. Dad takes kids out.