All toys are communal household

[Anonymous]

My friend with two boys does not allow them to have toys of their own. If they get a gift, they can play with it for that day, but then it becomes shared property. Boys are only 5 and 3 now, but won’t this cause problems later on. I can see how this method would be easier, but something about not having anything to call your own seems unfair. Anyone else have only shared toys? How has this worked for your household?

[Anonymous]

Not gonna work with fancy LEGO sets or when they move up to Nintendos and whatnot. She should enjoy her fantasyland while she can.

[Anonymous]

It sorts itself out later on as the kids become interested in different things and/or different toys work for different ages. Nearly all toys were shared in my house until my twins were 7 - each kid had a couple of loveys that were their own, but that's basically it.

Now, many toys/gadgets/etc are shared but the kids also have things that are their own.

[Anonymous]

We are just hitting this (3 yr old and 1.5 yr old). I think we have come down on all toys in the PLAYROOM are communal. If you got a present you love and don't want to share you can keep it in your room and play with it there. But if you bring it to the communal area, its communal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not gonna work with fancy LEGO sets or when they move up to Nintendos and whatnot. She should enjoy her fantasyland while she can.

Lots of people have different rules at 3 than when their kids are much older. It doesn't mean the rules were "fantasyland" when the kids were small. It means that rules change when kids grow.

[Anonymous]

Our kids are still young, so I am not sure how it will work when they get older, but for now by and large everything is shared. They naturally divide many things up in "mine" and "yours." Like, I have the blue ball and you have the white ball, but it does not mean that they cannot touch what was designated to be their siblings' toy. All toys are mixed together.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn’t work in my house. My 5yr old has toys he does not want his 3yr old sibling playing with because they aren’t age appropriate for a 3yr old.

[Anonymous]

I have 4 and 3 year old boys. They share toys for now. Rules are meant to be broken (well, adapted...) and should be adjusted as needed. This should be common sense OP. Would you have the same rules at 16, that you had at 3?

[Anonymous]

Kids deserve to have both their own things and shared things. So, are her toys like her iPad, computer and cell phone also communal household toys or just hers?

[Anonymous]

I have a 5 and 3 yr old and some toys like magnatiles, art supplies, puzzles are shared. However they have plenty of toys of their are their own, that they are not required to share.

[Anonymous]

My kids are older and that's still how we do it, for the most part. One thing that is not communal is the Lego sets (as opposed to the old duplos), where it takes so many hours to build things and certain sets have very unique parts. Stuffed animals and dolls are not communal either (unless the kids wants them to be). Books are *mostly* not communal but I also have a rule that a kind person lends their books to friends/family and a kind person is respectful of borrowed books.

[Anonymous]

I have the same rule. Or close to it, in that, yes, a toy can be “yours” but you still have to allow your brother to use it if you are not. So you can have first dibs but you cannot lock it up. When they were little I could not keep track of which car belonged to which kid or which LEGO piece, etc. as they have gotten older their interests naturally diverged somewhat so each has toys they prefer to play with. No phones yet, but I will make an exception there since the older will get a phone first.

[Anonymous]

Surely they have some things of their own, maybe a lovie or blankie or favorite truck. Don't they?

[Anonymous]

I think it’s fair to have some special toys (eg. A favourite stuffed animal, LEGO set, etc.), and then have all the other toys be communal.

I don’t see the harm, aside from those few special items, in teaching children that household items are communal, and that might include toys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend with two boys does not allow them to have toys of their own. If they get a gift, they can play with it for that day, but then it becomes shared property. Boys are only 5 and 3 now, but won’t this cause problems later on. I can see how this method would be easier, but something about not having anything to call your own seems unfair. Anyone else have only shared toys? How has this worked for your household?

We do this (sort of), and our boys are 7 and 9. Unless it is a clear favorite, it's a shared toy, no matter how we came to be in possession of it. There are things that one kid plays with that the other doesn't - that would technically be "owned" by the other child.