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My child repeate something he heard at home to his friend..embarrassing!
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Anonymous
| DC was having an issue with another child in his class. This had been going on for some time and he was getting really frustrated because no matter what he did it didn't help, he said. He says the other child has been bossy and picking on him a lot. In exasperation and not knowing what more advice to give him, and of course also bcause I was started to get really annoyed with this bossy child, I said, in jest, of course, "Oh for goodness sake, when she picks on you just think of her nose, it looks like somebody put it in a vise." I was trying my best to use the 'imagine your opponent in his undergarments' approach to make light of the whole matter, get him to realize that everybody has imperfections, including this child. Boy did it backfire. He goes to school and repeats this to that child. Teacher hears it and I get a phone call. Boy, was I embarrassed. And the irony of all this is - I HAVE NEVER EVER UTTERED ONE NEGATIVE THING ABOUT ANY CHILD, EVER IN MY LIFE!!! This is the truth. I got the shock of my life when this one horribly insensitive sentence was repeated back to me by his teacher. I felt like God was telling me something. Now I feel terrible, terrible for this other child, her feelings, terrible for what I taught my child to think, terrible that the teacher thinks I'm a terrible parent. What can I do? |
Anonymous
| what is a vise that would fit on a nose? Something that squeezes it? |
Anonymous
| This is your chance to show your child how to apologize. Tell DC that you made a mistake and should've never said anything negative about someone else. It hurts people's feelings and is wrong. |
Anonymous
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Has the teacher also been calling the parents of the other child, every time that child picks on your child?
Seems like that child just got a taste of his/her own medicine. Sure, you didn't mean for your child to repeat somehting nasty, but assuming your kid isn't making the teasing up that the other child is doing, maybe it's a good thing he/she got his/her feelings hurt. |
Anonymous
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No. Several children pick on him he says and he's frustrated about it. I mentioned two of those kids to the teacher a while back. Nothing was done.
When the teacher called, she said that it was my responsibility to let her know about these cases and incidents. Ummm...well I tried to tell her. So then I took advantage of that opportunity and told her every incident he had to endure. What makes this different is that he told this child "My mommie thinks your nose looked like it was put in a vise." So teacher thought that perhaps I'm teaching him to dislike other kids too, not really understanding that he's being mistreated by them sometimes. Evenso, it was terribly wrong of me to say anything like that. |
Anonymous
| Yes, it was wrong of you. But you've learned a lesson, and you'll certainly refrain next time from saying something even more appalling. And possibly your kid can learn a lesson, too. So not all is lost! |
Anonymous
How the heck are you supposed to do that? She's the one that sees them at school after all - you're only hearing about it after the fact. Her casual attitude about your child being picked on is really troublesome. No, it doesn't make this incident okay, but honestly BUT FOR the picking on it would never have happened. So, a certain amount of responsibility lies on the other child. |
Anonymous
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It doesn't makes sense to me that your child said one thing to the bully, and immediately you get called. But your child has been repeatedly bullied by others, and have the other parents been called by the teacher?
Tell you child to tease kids back if they tease him (to teach him to laugh at situations and not get so upset), and if he doesn't want to do that, then to go tell the teacher. |
Anonymous
+1. Former neighbors clearly used to talk in front of their son about us and other neighbors. Resulted in then-4yr old making very nasty comments to my husband and using very unkind adjectives when playing with another neighbor child (clearly "adult" descriptors of the kid's behavior, not something the boy came up with on his own). Parents squirmed when it was pointed out to them, and I'm hoping maybe they've learned that kids listen and repeat what they hear. Not demonizing you, OP. Just saying make it a lesson learned for you!! 
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Anonymous
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Yes I certainly will make sure DH and I talk about these thing and vent to each other AFTER the kids have gone to bed. So I've learned my lesson.
BUT- I will have to address this with the teacher. She seems to cast aside every incident of bullying. |
Anonymous
This is a common problem. Get the administrators involved so she's under some pressure (that she can't blow off so easily) to take action. |
Anonymous
| Even God forgives our transgressions, so you should certainly give yourself a pass. Parenting is an opportunity to teach AND learn. |
Anonymous
| We've all said things we wish we could take back. Too bad you're in a pinch bc that's the only side of it the teacher;s dealing with. Doesn't feel good, but you can move forward and work to improve things for both kids... I hope. |
Anonymous
| Don't worry about it. You would not believe the things 4 and 5 year olds tell their teachers. And don't think they are not listening when they are in bed. They are and they love to tell. Teachers could start their own gossip columns but instead we keep it to ourselves. Well. it does make for some funny dinner conversations at home. |