how would you respond? 8 year old behavior

[Anonymous]

My son is responding with "you cant make me if I don't want to". Its really driving me up the wall. How would your respond

[Anonymous]

"True, but I can take away your iPad /video game/bike privileges. I am the parent. I am in charge of you. You can choose not to put your dirty laundry in the hamper. And I can choose to take away all but two of your outfits and you will ONLY have those two until you take care of them responsibly. See how that works?"

[Anonymous]

I would say that is disrespectful and have an immediate consequence. I would also sign up for a parenting class if your child is acting like this and you aren’t sure how to handle it.

[Anonymous]

"True, I can't make you X. But if we are having problems and our family isn't working together then fun things like [whatever SUPER fun thing is coming up soon] don't happen. So ... decide what you really want to do here."

My son pulled the "you can't make me" line twice. Both times, I said similar to the above in a matter-of-fact manner and gave him time to respond. The first time, he didn't care because he didn't want to go to a certain kid's party anyway! The second time, he apologized and life moved on. Hasn't happened since. He just turned 8 though, so I guess there is still time

[Anonymous]

I would laugh. No TV for a month. I make decisions, I control screens, and all manner of other fun stuff. Cooperation is the best strategy for the child.

[Anonymous]

I would say, "True, I can't make you do that." However, there are consequences for not doing _____. In this case, the consequence is ______ if you choose not to listen.

[Anonymous]

I'd take up using the phrase myself for all non essential things regarding him for awhile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son is responding with "you cant make me if I don't want to". Its really driving me up the wall. How would your respond

",Oh, maybe I can't make you but I can make your life beyond miserable. No more electronics. Room is stripped of everything but necessities. He is grounded until further notice.". You will get his attention.

[Anonymous]

Thank god I have only run into this when DS was 3 and didn't want to get dressed. I but him a blanket and carried him to the car in the blanket. He quickly changed his mind, we took the time to get dressed and it has not come up again. Granted, he is only 6 so I know I will run into it.

I like some of the response that I have seen.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes what works is pointing out that their behavior is like a toddler’s. “You can’t make me” is not how a bigger kid resolves a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd take up using the phrase myself for all non essential things regarding him for awhile.

I"ve not gotten this phrase but I did get push back on chores. So I painfully described every single thing I did including making the list of all the stuff that I buy at the store. He got the message, mostly because I just kept going on and on until he did the chore. I'm not sure I'm that good of a parent sometimes. Is it fair to parent by being annoying?