Leftover embryos

[Anonymous]

After three cycles of IVF we were fortunate enough to have our baby girl. She’s six months old now. My husband and I are both 99% sure we do not want to try for a sibling. I feel so lucky to have her, and honestly don’t want to go through the process, cost, and potential heartache of more cycles. And we are really content just with one baby. Originally, we talked about having two, but after so many years of trying we are happy with one.

We have two frozen embryos remaining. I paid for an additional year of embryo storage, which expires this coming October. I do not want to donate them to another couple or to science. I think we will just not renew the contract for freezing and they will be destroyed. But...That also sits heavy on me. Every embryo was a chance, and we transferred six before finally getting pregnant. Some days I just think of them as being two little embryos and nothing more, other times I look at my baby and think that they are two other babies. Not trying to start some type of religious or philosophical thing here, but I’m sure others have struggled with the decision to destroy embryos, even if they really didn’t want any other children. Those who have, how did you feel about your decision? Did you have any regrets? We could just continue paying the $500 a year for storage, but I know that is not practical in the long run.

[Anonymous]

I would pay for at least one more year of storage before making the decision.

[Anonymous]

We are in a similar situation but have decided to donate them for research. Just curious why you’d rather destroy them?

[Anonymous]

I would hold on to them for as long as you can afford the storage fees, in case you change your mind as your baby gets older.

[Anonymous]

Don't have any answers. We are in the same situation. We went through so much to have our second, and to think we have all these leftover embryos and another opportunity to more easily get pregnant (we eventually used donor eggs) and to create a full genetic sibling for our child is really tough. We are still deciding what to do. It weighs on me constantly. I would agree to pay for storage another year. And even then, I know people who transferred their embryos to a much cheaper offsite storage facility as they were not ready to discard them/donate them to research yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would hold on to them for as long as you can afford the storage fees, in case you change your mind as your baby gets older.

This. I'd wait until your one child is at least 3 years old before disposing of them.

I'd also opt to donate them vice just destroying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would hold on to them for as long as you can afford the storage fees, in case you change your mind as your baby gets older.

This—at 6months you’re still adjusting to having a baby. I couldn’t even think about having a second until my oldest was 3.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone from OP. I’ll talk to DH about “renewing the rent” on the embryos come October for another year. I am 99% sure I’m happy with my one, but that 1% chance is worth another year’s investment to see if it becomes a bigger or smaller number in the next year.

[Anonymous]

OP are these PGS tested embryos? I would definitely pay for storage for another year just so that you are certain. I see these as potentials and we transferred our only PGS normal frozen embryo after having DD from a fresh cycle. If we have more PGS normal embryos and we couldn’t afford another child, we would have opted to donate to another embryo. I originally said we would bring them home and dispose them ourselves but after having our daughter, our perspective change so much. It would seem like destroying a potential life.

[Anonymous]

It's a heavy choice for sure. We did just one IVF cycle to get our second child, and ended up with nine embryos in storage. I was originally 100% sure I only wanted two children. Then on a lark we got them tested. Four out of nine were normal. So against all prior convictions we transferred one, and our third child was born. It just seemed such a waste to let them go after we had the PGS results.

We still have three on ice and we are 500% sure we don't want more children. We decided against donating. SGF offers this thing where they transfer the embryos into a woman when there is zero chance of conceiving, and they just sort of dissolve inside. We'll do that in a year or so - although it's a total ritual (meaning it's basically disposal), but it seems like a nice symbolism to have them go back to where they came from.

My sympathies are with you. It's not an easy choice at all. In your shoes I'd give real thought to #2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a heavy choice for sure. We did just one IVF cycle to get our second child, and ended up with nine embryos in storage. I was originally 100% sure I only wanted two children. Then on a lark we got them tested. Four out of nine were normal. So against all prior convictions we transferred one, and our third child was born. It just seemed such a waste to let them go after we had the PGS results.

We still have three on ice and we are 500% sure we don't want more children. We decided against donating. SGF offers this thing where they transfer the embryos into a woman when there is zero chance of conceiving, and they just sort of dissolve inside. We'll do that in a year or so - although it's a total ritual (meaning it's basically disposal), but it seems like a nice symbolism to have them go back to where they came from.

My sympathies are with you. It's not an easy choice at all. In your shoes I'd give real thought to #2.

.

They transfer them back into the mom? We have one that’s been in storage for 6 years because we had a surprise #3 shortly after our IVF baby. I really don’t think I could handle a 4th, but can’t seem to consent to dispose of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a heavy choice for sure. We did just one IVF cycle to get our second child, and ended up with nine embryos in storage. I was originally 100% sure I only wanted two children. Then on a lark we got them tested. Four out of nine were normal. So against all prior convictions we transferred one, and our third child was born. It just seemed such a waste to let them go after we had the PGS results.

We still have three on ice and we are 500% sure we don't want more children. We decided against donating. SGF offers this thing where they transfer the embryos into a woman when there is zero chance of conceiving, and they just sort of dissolve inside. We'll do that in a year or so - although it's a total ritual (meaning it's basically disposal), but it seems like a nice symbolism to have them go back to where they came from.

My sympathies are with you. It's not an easy choice at all. In your shoes I'd give real thought to #2.

What? How do they know that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a heavy choice for sure. We did just one IVF cycle to get our second child, and ended up with nine embryos in storage. I was originally 100% sure I only wanted two children. Then on a lark we got them tested. Four out of nine were normal. So against all prior convictions we transferred one, and our third child was born. It just seemed such a waste to let them go after we had the PGS results.

We still have three on ice and we are 500% sure we don't want more children. We decided against donating. SGF offers this thing where they transfer the embryos into a woman when there is zero chance of conceiving, and they just sort of dissolve inside. We'll do that in a year or so - although it's a total ritual (meaning it's basically disposal), but it seems like a nice symbolism to have them go back to where they came from.

My sympathies are with you. It's not an easy choice at all. In your shoes I'd give real thought to #2.

What? How do they know that?

Er...should be pretty easy to tell based on your cycle, and un-prepped uterine lining, no?

In any event, I'd be 47 at that time so not really concerned about what would be as good as immaculate conception.

[Anonymous]

Wait into lyou’re ready. We had 7 frozen and got spontaneously pregnant with our second. When I had my first, I thought about my embryos often when he was a young infant. When I had my 2nd I didn’t think about them at all. We had our embryos thawed on my 40th BD / my youngest child’s second BD. It was a little sad to walk away from that phase of my life, knowing my age meant we would not get another chance if we changed our minds. I find some people start thinking about having a 2nd kid when the first is 6mk and others get the itch at 18mo. I would see if you can pay past October for 1 more year. That distance will help you decide how you feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a heavy choice for sure. We did just one IVF cycle to get our second child, and ended up with nine embryos in storage. I was originally 100% sure I only wanted two children. Then on a lark we got them tested. Four out of nine were normal. So against all prior convictions we transferred one, and our third child was born. It just seemed such a waste to let them go after we had the PGS results.

We still have three on ice and we are 500% sure we don't want more children. We decided against donating. SGF offers this thing where they transfer the embryos into a woman when there is zero chance of conceiving, and they just sort of dissolve inside. We'll do that in a year or so - although it's a total ritual (meaning it's basically disposal), but it seems like a nice symbolism to have them go back to where they came from.

My sympathies are with you. It's not an easy choice at all. In your shoes I'd give real thought to #2.

What? How do they know that?

Er...should be pretty easy to tell based on your cycle, and un-prepped uterine lining, no?

In any event, I'd be 47 at that time so not really concerned about what would be as good as immaculate conception.

But is that 100%? Could you imagine getting pregnant from that?