Do you think we have a "unique hardship" for an MCPS COSA/Transfer?
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givingtree
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First, I absolutely hate to post my personal woes out to the interwebz. But I'm at a loss as to the right course of action for my daughter.
Basic facts: I had been with my partner for 5 years, and we lived as any husband and wife, just without the paperwork. The agreement from the beginning was for me to be a stay at home mom, and he would work (he made WAY more money than I ever could, and I wasn't able to earn enough to justify childcare expenses). Long story short, without any warning, he left last week after draining the bank account to $0, and took both our vehicles (we're 5 miles from public transit). In 2 days, I was left penniless, without a vehicle, 5 days before rent is due, and 10 days before the electric would be turned off (that's today, yay!). I have no paystubs to get into a new, cheaper place, so I face eviction as well. There are only 2 places for rent in my daughter's elementary school zone. One is an MPDU apartment complex, which requires 6 recent paystubs, which I don't have. I went to view the other place, and it is literally crumbling and dilapidated (we live in a funky old farmhouse now, so my standards are pretty low!).The landlord said it would have a new roof because the old one leaks, fixed wet basement, and dozens of holes and damages repaired in 2 weeks. That's not going to happen, and if it did, I am no match for the myriad applicants who have jobs, income, etc. all vying for the place because it's the only one available (also why the rent is WAY overpriced.) The adjoining elementary boundaries do have suitable rentals that I might be able to get into and afford once I'm on my feet (my mom is willing to be on the lease and has enough income to be approved), but there still aren't many. These all feed into the same middle school, so any COSA would only need to be for the next three years (my daughter's in 2nd grade). In short, we have less than a month to move somewhere in the school zone, after suddenly being left destitute and unemployed, and there is no place to rent in the school zone. This entire thing has obviously been very traumatic for my daughter. We live in constant fear of my ex (who is not her father). She is afraid he will take her away, I'm afraid he will try to sneak into the house again, and do who-knows-what. He was violent to himself and property, cruel and emotionally abusive, stole items as he left, including her Nintendo which was a Christmas gift, all of my birthday gifts from other people, my grandmother's antiques, and much more. Both her and I live in fear as long as he knows where we live. The last thing she needs after having her whole life ripped away and going through all this, is to have to change schools too, so I'm trying to avoid that at all costs. I do have documentation of all of this. Technically I could move to an out-of-bounds rental, get approval for her to finish out the year, and hope that by August I could move again back into the current school zone. After all this, my daughter will have the stress of yet another move and instability, and I will struggle to afford 2 moves in 6 months or less. Questions: Assuming we move to a place outside the current boundary, I'm positive we could get some kind of exception for this school year. But as I understand it, if I apply for a COSA right now, it would take effect next school year. Who do I contact or what forms do I submit to get an exemption in the next month? Based on your previous experience, and assuming again that we move outside the current boundary, do you feel like we could get a COSA under a "unique hardship" for the next three years? Do you have any other advice for anything mentioned here? This has been an awful experience, and while I'm a tough cookie and work to the bone to make things better, I'm overwhelmed and I'm sure I'm missing something that I'd see if I wasn't so stressed. Thanks for your help! |
Anonymous
| You should contact your daughter's current school. The Pupil Personnel Worker (PPW) assigned to that school can help advise you on a COSA. If you move out of the school's boundary now, you would file a COSA now and it will either be approved or denied for this school year (I can't imagine they would deny it unless you moved to another county). |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry you are going though this. Please also reach out to school's Guidance Counselor - he or she can keep a special eye on your child's anxiety and may be able to connect you to resources that can help. |
Anonymous
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OP, so sorry to what happened to you. I would contact The National Center for Children and family. They have a few locations and are super helpful to people like you. They have shelters including hideaways. I am sure, they will help.
https://www.nccf-cares.org/ MD Headquarters 6301 Greentree Road, Bethesda, MD 20817 Tel (301) 365-4480 | Fax (301) 365-2536 District of Columbia Headquarters 1438 Rhode Island Avenue, NE Washington, DC 20018 Tel (202) 543-3217 | Fax (202) 543-4508 |
Anonymous
| Alhough it sucks I would say No. This is why homeless kids have to move schools all the time. |
Anonymous
| How would your daughter get to the out-of-zone school? You will need to work so can't drive her |
Anonymous
| Unfortunately, I don't think being unable to afford housing in your desired area qualifies as unique. I think you should move somewhere you can afford and work on helping your daughter make friends and acclimate to the new school district. You are probably better off without your ex knowing which school your daughter attends anyway. |
Anonymous
I was thinking this as well |
Anonymous
| They should allow her to remain at the school till the end of the school year. You need to apply for homeless family services. You cannot rent an apartment without income so you don't have a lot of choices and this is the least of your concerns. How does he drain the bank account and take BOTH cars? This sounds a bit made up and after an abusive ex, you should have protected yourself more with money only in your name and/or marriage. If you move out of bounds, no car, how will you get her back and forth? |
Anonymous
This is not how it is done. She needs to go to social services and they will assess the situation and if there is space assign her to one of the several family shelters. You don't call the county directly. She is not in an abusive situation currently so she will not qualify for that shelter. |
Anonymous
| OP, I am sorry that this happened to you and your daughter. Hopefully, you will be able to pick up the pieces and begin to put your lives back together. I think you qualify for abuse because your ex put you in a state of duress. I would utilize the resources posted here and also try to get a job. MCPS is currently hiring so try there! MCPS does pay a significant portion of master's degrees and bachelor's in some cases. I'll keep you in my prayers. |
Anonymous
| OP - Principals have discretion when it comes to COSA approvals. Make an appointment or ask for a phone conversation so the Principal can help you with options. The Principal may even be able to help connect you with community services. Finally, the school needs to be aware that your ex does not have parental rights and cannot pick up your child from school. Update any emergency contact forms on file. |
Anonymous
This all makes no senses. She is scared of her ex but been with her partner for 5 years and had no contact so she made her daughter scared, not daughter being scared as she probably doesn't remember him. In less his rights were terminated for adoption, which is rare to happen without a marriage, he does have parental rights. There may be a no contact order but he is still legally the parent. She sounds like a nut job if she is even for real. |
Anonymous
From what I understood, ex and partner are the same person. |
Anonymous
Actually, homeless kids don't have to move schools all the time. The federal McKinney-Vento Act says that they have the right to continue to attend the school that they were attending when they became homeless, with transportation provided by the district. |