What is considered supportive as a parent?? What do i need to do???

[Anonymous]

DD came out as gay last year and is dating her second girl-friend (both long term relationships...). Girlfriends come over to our house regularly, and DD goes to theirs. We even paid for her to fly and see her last girlfriend, who had gone away to college. I've told most friends, all family members, etc.. about her being gay. Trying to be supportive but somewhat neutral on her sexuality by accepting but not jumping for joy "how wonderful that you are gay".... I feel 17 is young and who knows if things will change. She hasn't had a lot of friends and once she gets a girlfriend, that's the only person she hangs out with- I don't find this healthy and encourage her to work on friendships. My dilemma is that if I put any limitations on her seeing her girlfriend, she drops the "you aren't supportive of my being gay" card on me. She is very moody and not pleasant most of the time she's home. She is still in high school and needs to keep up her studies, her life outside of girlfriend, etc. 90% of the time we let her be with girlfriend when she wants to, so it's not like we are trying to keep her from her. She has lied to us about where she is going to see the gf which has lost a lot of our trust. I have no idea what to do in order to feel that I am supportive of her and that I'd be parenting her the same way regardless the gender she dates.

[Anonymous]

Two thoughts.

First she is only 17 and who knows if things will change. This is a you problem. You need to fix that

Second, she spends all her time with her gf and neglects friend and study. It wouldn’t matter if she were straight or gay. But she is 17 and will resent you for it until she is older. That is a her problem. You have to decide if this battle is worth it

-signed Gay father of daughters whose been out since my teens.

[Anonymous]

Try to set exactly the same boundaries as you would if she were straight. My hunch is she may be getting away with more because you want to be supportive. Make clear that you love her and support her and don’t give a rat’s ass if she is gay or not but she can’t pull any homophobia cards on you.

[Anonymous]

Supportive is a subjective term based on the psychological and emotional needs of your child. To be supportive you must accept the ever changing status of your teen. As your teen’s identity, orientation, or both change, you must adjust your habits and guidance based on their current state, which may change within a month, day, or the next 5 minutes. Without any sort of permanent identity, there are no fixed rules for parenting.

[Anonymous]

Being supportive doesn’t mean you stop being a parent.