What to do when a teacher is a bully?

[Anonymous]

DS is 2 days into the new semester. He is a Freshman and did not have any issues with the teachers he had first semester. For some reason, our highschool changed most of his teachers for the second semester even though he is taking year long courses.

In what used to be my child's favorite class, he now has a teacher that is acting like a bully. My child got a bad vibe on Tuesday by comments the teacher made to embarrass students in class. Today there was an incident that left my child scared.

My DS doesn’t want a parent to call the school. He thinks that will make the problem worse. If this was your child, what advice would you give him of options to protect himself and options to remedy the situation?

[Anonymous]

Seriously, how are we supposed to give you any advice without knowing the incident? Pointless

[Anonymous]

Chain of command
1. Talk to teacher
2. Head of dept
3. Assistant principal
4. Principal

[Anonymous]

Most likely your kid is wrong and was simply disciplined and became bitter about it. If it is truly bullying then it should be handled like every other bully, man up and don’t be a punk. Bullies look for the weakest of the herd, while it isn’t right one should ask themselves why they are the weakest target. Not like if the one bully stops another won’t quickly take their place until the person learns inner strength.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 2 days into the new semester. He is a Freshman and did not have any issues with the teachers he had first semester. For some reason, our highschool changed most of his teachers for the second semester even though he is taking year long courses.

In what used to be my child's favorite class, he now has a teacher that is acting like a bully. My child got a bad vibe on Tuesday by comments the teacher made to embarrass students in class. Today there was an incident that left my child scared.

My DS doesn’t want a parent to call the school. He thinks that will make the problem worse. If this was your child, what advice would you give him of options to protect himself and options to remedy the situation?

He could start by talking to his counselor about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most likely your kid is wrong and was simply disciplined and became bitter about it. If it is truly bullying then it should be handled like every other bully, man up and don’t be a punk. Bullies look for the weakest of the herd, while it isn’t right one should ask themselves why they are the weakest target. Not like if the one bully stops another won’t quickly take their place until the person learns inner strength.

How is a 15 year old boy supposed to "man up" so he is not the weakest target in a class? Are you implying a student clock the teacher one to defend himself?

Student vs student, they would be on an equal plane to settle the beef but a teacher has definite power that can be used to threaten a student. All negative reprocessions unless there is a videotape of the incident would be on the student. A teacher can make a student’s life hell via bad grades, unfair discipline, etc. if a child speaks up.

[Anonymous]

I'd suggest a counselor.

At my office, one of the things we are constantly coached for any sort of harassment on is "go to the next person," which would be the department head. But I suspect your DC is more comfortable going to counselor. I would not take it up with the teacher who is giving off the bad vibe.

Also, as an FYI, it's common practice in MCPS to switch up teachers and schedules at 2nd semester in HS. I think it's a silly decision to do it, but that's how MCPS does it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS is 2 days into the new semester. He is a Freshman and did not have any issues with the teachers he had first semester. For some reason, our highschool changed most of his teachers for the second semester even though he is taking year long courses.

In what used to be my child's favorite class, he now has a teacher that is acting like a bully. My child got a bad vibe on Tuesday by comments the teacher made to embarrass students in class. Today there was an incident that left my child scared.

My DS doesn’t want a parent to call the school. He thinks that will make the problem worse. If this was your child, what advice would you give him of options to protect himself and options to remedy the situation?

You didn't really share what happened, but it sounds like you and your child are overreacting. Probably your kid doesn't like not being with the teacher he liked so he is agitating you to force a change.

[Anonymous]

Don’t know why others are disbelieving OP as well as failing to read correctly.

I agree your son should go to the counselor, but with others in his class who witnessed the same thing. Otherwise, OP, he will get the same reception as you got here!

And unless something egregious happens which recessitates a formal complaint and disciplinary action, he will have to resign himself to continuing with the power-hungry teacher.

[Anonymous]

Have your son stop by the counseling office first thing tomorrow. Let him handle this. He can do it. Really. If your that worried, you can email the counselor ahead of time that he's coming, and that you support him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most likely your kid is wrong and was simply disciplined and became bitter about it. If it is truly bullying then it should be handled like every other bully, man up and don’t be a punk. Bullies look for the weakest of the herd, while it isn’t right one should ask themselves why they are the weakest target. Not like if the one bully stops another won’t quickly take their place until the person learns inner strength.

How is a 15 year old boy supposed to "man up" so he is not the weakest target in a class? Are you implying a student clock the teacher one to defend himself?

Student vs student, they would be on an equal plane to settle the beef but a teacher has definite power that can be used to threaten a student. All negative reprocessions unless there is a videotape of the incident would be on the student. A teacher can make a student’s life hell via bad grades, unfair discipline, etc. if a child speaks up.

Physical defense is only one possibility of not being a target, there are multiple nuances to being a target and it can change from situation to situation. That said I remember a few teachers crossing the line and picking on kids over the years, truth be told it typically was the same kids the other kids picked on. And some point it is just you. If you don’t want to be picked off be hyenas don’t lag behind the pack. Hyenas are going to be there regardless

[Anonymous]

Your child has only had the new teacher for TWO days. I think you need a wait and see attitude. The counselor won't have advice after TWO days.

[Anonymous]

My Dad was a public school principal, my mom a teacher. I’m pro-teacher all the way but my biggest regret is not listening to my DD about nearly same scenario OP. Believe me-my DD wasn’t perfect but the one thing she is is sweet & likeable. She said she had no idea why this one teacher had it in for her but I gave teacher benifit of doubt for way too long. Things finally came to a head (my DD insisted on dealing with advocating for herself until then w/counselor.) At mtg w/that teacher, 4 other teachers, counselor and VP and me/DH teacher was just complaints with no way for DD to move ahead with her. Could not find one thing positive to say despite all others saying what a great kid she was (despite as referenced above, her non-perfection!) We sat through meeting and then said as there was no path forward with that teacher she needed a different class. Sorry we waited to see if it would change. Get him out. Whether its a personality mismatch or your kid did something-its a failed relationship. You don’t need to experience yucky behavior and come though it. Recognizing when to move on is a great skill

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most likely your kid is wrong and was simply disciplined and became bitter about it. If it is truly bullying then it should be handled like every other bully, man up and don’t be a punk. Bullies look for the weakest of the herd, while it isn’t right one should ask themselves why they are the weakest target. Not like if the one bully stops another won’t quickly take their place until the person learns inner strength.

???? Um, if a teacher is being a bully this is a bigger issue than "manning up" What an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most likely your kid is wrong and was simply disciplined and became bitter about it. If it is truly bullying then it should be handled like every other bully, man up and don’t be a punk. Bullies look for the weakest of the herd, while it isn’t right one should ask themselves why they are the weakest target. Not like if the one bully stops another won’t quickly take their place until the person learns inner strength.

???? Um, if a teacher is being a bully this is a bigger issue than "manning up" What an idiot.

Go for it, write the perfect rule that eliminates bullies. You let me know when you have it implemented, until then I’ll teach my kids to be just a little tougher than yours.