Feeling lonely in my marriage

[Anonymous]

I feel so alone in my marriage. I probably see my spouse for 1 hour a day as he comes home at 10:30 or 11 pm.

On weekends he is exhausted so he sleeps in late and then spends the day zoned out playing video games.

Our sex life has been non existent.

At night I go to bed while husband is up playing video games.


I am so depressed and alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel so alone in my marriage. I probably see my spouse for 1 hour a day as he comes home at 10:30 or 11 pm.

On weekends he is exhausted so he sleeps in late and then spends the day zoned out playing video games.

Our sex life has been non existent.

At night I go to bed while husband is up playing video games. HAVE HIM PUT AWAY HIS GAME JOY STICK AND PLAY WITH HIS JOY STICK SIMPLE


I am so depressed and alone.

[Anonymous]

What do you do to get positive things happen in your life?
Go for a walk, enjoy some fresh air and do some meditation. Evaluate your situation. Would you be better off alone? Maybe yes maybe no. It is your choice alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel so alone in my marriage. I probably see my spouse for 1 hour a day as he comes home at 10:30 or 11 pm.

On weekends he is exhausted so he sleeps in late and then spends the day zoned out playing video games.

Our sex life has been non existent.

At night I go to bed while husband is up playing video games.


I am so depressed and alone.

First, your husband is probably not in a great place emotionally either, so you can’t really depend on him to help you feel better. Look at what you wrote: he works long hours, only has video games as an outlet, and doesn’t have a good sex life. This is not a recipe for a happy emotionally engaged man, ok? He is probably depressed but that doesn’t mean YOU have to be depressed. You can’t use your spouse as an emotional crutch because they will not always be healthy or emotionally available. We all have bad times in our lives and when we break down our spouses can’t beeak down too. You can lift yourself out of this funk or dump your husband and still be in a funk. Do things that you like to do, even if you are doing them by yourself. Invite DH to participate in activities but if he doesn’t want to it’s ok. Do you have a social life? Friends? Hobbies? Spend time on those things. If DH sees that you are enjoying your life he might decide to do them with you. And if he doesn’t, that’s a problem you can deal with later.

Just work on making yourself feel better first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel so alone in my marriage. I probably see my spouse for 1 hour a day as he comes home at 10:30 or 11 pm.

On weekends he is exhausted so he sleeps in late and then spends the day zoned out playing video games.

Our sex life has been non existent.

At night I go to bed while husband is up playing video games.


I am so depressed and alone.

GET down aon your hands and knees and hewill do the rest
First, your husband is probably not in a great place emotionally either, so you can’t really depend on him to help you feel better. Look at what you wrote: he works long hours, only has video games as an outlet, and doesn’t have a good sex life. This is not a recipe for a happy emotionally engaged man, ok? He is probably depressed but that doesn’t mean YOU have to be depressed. You can’t use your spouse as an emotional crutch because they will not always be healthy or emotionally available. We all have bad times in our lives and when we break down our spouses can’t beeak down too. You can lift yourself out of this funk or dump your husband and still be in a funk. Do things that you like to do, even if you are doing them by yourself. Invite DH to participate in activities but if he doesn’t want to it’s ok. Do you have a social life? Friends? Hobbies? Spend time on those things. If DH sees that you are enjoying your life he might decide to do them with you. And if he doesn’t, that’s a problem you can deal with later.

Just work on making yourself feel better first.

[Anonymous]

You need to say this to him, OP. You need to ask him if he's willing to change. Do the two of you have children? Is marriage counseling an option?

[Anonymous]

Has it always been this way or is this a recent thing?

[Anonymous]

big question: do you have children? It doesn't sound like it.

now, does he have to work till 11 every night or does he choose to? and if he 'has' to, what are alternatives to this job or career an would he be willing to change in order to create time and energy for marriage?

I would give it one shot in marriage counseling (assuming no kids), in which you state your need for connection and intimacy and how you have been feeling (which is normal and the bedrock of a marriage). if he can't work won't, I would separate. Life is too long to live like that. Its better to be single and lonely that in that kind of space.

[Anonymous]

You need a secret lover.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a secret lover.

Earworm.

[Anonymous]

The thing is that OP, since you get so little from you, you probably ask for a lot and that pushes him farther away. Meaning when you do see him do you walk about how he is never home or never engaged or how you feel lonely or how he doesn't spend time with you etc. That is only going ot make him spend less time at home.

Whaat you both need is just something fun that you both enjoy. Maybe plan to go to a movie or a play or whatever you like. No discussion of feelings or his work etc. Just have a good time together

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a secret lover.

Earworm.

What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

If no kids, leave. Why do people stay married if they don't have a family to worry about? What is there to save?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If no kids, leave. Why do people stay married if they don't have a family to worry about? What is there to save?

Love. The fear of leaving and being alone. It sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If no kids, leave. Why do people stay married if they don't have a family to worry about? What is there to save?

Promises mean something. To some of us.