How many friends do you have?

[Anonymous]

I'm wondering if I'm unusual in this sense. I'm 32, work FT (as does DH) and we have a 2 year old, so we don't have a ton of time to keep up with our existing friends, much less make new ones.

I would say I have one close female friend (DH is my best friend). She has a kid about a year older than DD, and we see them about once a month. I work with her, so I talk to her every day at work. We confide in each other and are very close.

Then there's another couple with a toddler we see maybe every 6 weeks. We don't really talk to them between those visits, but have a good time when we're together.

There's a couple down the street with a toddler, and we've seen them a few times. We only moved to our place 8 months ago, so they're still a new friendship.

I moved a lot as a kid, so I didn't grow up with a single group of friends through HS or anything like that. It was tough keeping up with college friends after college because I made the mistake of becoming friends with my boyfriend's friends, and when we broke up, they all stayed friends with him and not me. Such is life! I was in a very small grad program with people who live all over the place, so I have scattered acquaintances from that time in my life. My co-workers are pretty much all either in their mid-20s and single, or are married with kids and are busy with their own lives.

So in short, I'm wondering if I really have a deficient of friends, or if this is normal for people who have had sort of transient lives and who balance working FT with having a little kid.

[Anonymous]

I live in DC. My 3 best friends all live in Florida. We all grew up here and they're from different times in my life but they've all moved there. No surprise where I'll be moving eventually

I have one very close friend in the DC area. I talk to the the 4 of them multiple times during the week and I see the DC friend a few times during the course of the week.

My DC friend is also a single parent. Our joke is that we co-parent our kids. We see each other a lot because of kid logistics and we're helping each other out.

[Anonymous]

I have one best best friend. Non-negotiable. Not in the DC area. She knows everything about me.

I have about three good friends in the DC area. I would ask them to do things for me if needed. They know most everything about me.

A have a fair number of other local friends I would feel comfortable calling on in an emergency (maybe 5-6), and hope they would me as well. But they don't know the dirty secrets. Well, some of them know some of them, actually. But nobody from this group knows all of them.

[Anonymous]

I have 5 very close friends, only one of whom lives in DC - friends I confide in with my most personal struggles, etc.

I have maybe 4 other friends who live in DC, but are not very close and don't see them too often. Also a larger group of acquaintances in DC, who I see even less.

I also have a group of friends from college that live all over, keep in touch and will see them if they are in town or if I'm in their cities.

Overall I wish I had more closer friends where I live, but at least I have people to talk to/visit.

[Anonymous]

I have a handful of "couple" friends: people that DH went to college or grew up with that are now married, so we're part of that group and I'm "friends" with the wives. That's about it. We mostly do things in groups and I text sometimes with the wives, but they all have kids and we're childfree.

All the friends I made in my 20's when I moved to DC have since moved on. I don't really have friends at work, even though I've been here ten years.

[Anonymous]

I have a couple from high school, a few from college, a few from grad school, maybe half a dozen from the neighborhood, half a dozen from work, then a few spouses of DH's friends, then a few friends who are parents of kids who go to school with our girls.

People find me super approachable and open-minded, and DH is an extrovert. So we make friends pretty easily.

[Anonymous]

There’s a saying in Spanish - you can count your friends on one hand. I find this to be true. I’m outgoing and likable and have a lot of acquaintances. There are three women I hang out with and open up to, and a couple of long-term friends I catch up with and see when we’re able. I find it’s important to be choosy about those we spend time with. I’m pretty selective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s a saying in Spanish - you can count your friends on one hand. I find this to be true. I’m outgoing and likable and have a lot of acquaintances. There are three women I hang out with and open up to, and a couple of long-term friends I catch up with and see when we’re able. I find it’s important to be choosy about those we spend time with. I’m pretty selective.

acquaintances =\= friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s a saying in Spanish - you can count your friends on one hand. I find this to be true. I’m outgoing and likable and have a lot of acquaintances. There are three women I hang out with and open up to, and a couple of long-term friends I catch up with and see when we’re able. I find it’s important to be choosy about those we spend time with. I’m pretty selective.

acquaintances =\= friends

PP here. I agree with you.

[Anonymous]

Two ride or die female friends that know it all and would help me bury the body no questions asked.

One very close friend who is approaching the above category as she just moved back to area

Three other friends who I’m close with, would share childcare, know a lot about me, have date nights with.

All above are local.
Three random old friends

[Anonymous]

I’m the above poster. Should mention my famil sucks so I am highly motivated to make and maintain female friendships.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks! I will say I didn't include acquaintances in my definition of friend. We have a slew of acquaintances we see once or twice a year, but I wouldn't consider them friends, per se. I like them, but just don't know that much about them.

[Anonymous]

Considering where you are in your life right now, your circle of friends normal.

Remember that when it comes to friends ~
Always consider QUALITY over QUANTITY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a couple from high school, a few from college, a few from grad school, maybe half a dozen from the neighborhood, half a dozen from work, then a few spouses of DH's friends, then a few friends who are parents of kids who go to school with our girls.

People find me super approachable and open-minded, and DH is an extrovert. So we make friends pretty easily.

Weird ..I was agreeing with you ...friends from high school, college, grad school, neighborhood, work, mom friends...but in no way do I think of myself as super approachable. I have one very good friend from high school, grad school, and as a Mom. I have 2 very good friends from work. I think it’s more a matter of common interests, I certainly do not rely on an extrovert DH. The friends I have, are the kind that travel to my Birthday celebration by place, are ones I’d race to in the middle of the night if they needed me....no fluff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a couple from high school, a few from college, a few from grad school, maybe half a dozen from the neighborhood, half a dozen from work, then a few spouses of DH's friends, then a few friends who are parents of kids who go to school with our girls.

People find me super approachable and open-minded, and DH is an extrovert. So we make friends pretty easily.

Weird ..I was agreeing with you ...friends from high school, college, grad school, neighborhood, work, mom friends...but in no way do I think of myself as super approachable. I have one very good friend from high school, grad school, and as a Mom. I have 2 very good friends from work. I think it’s more a matter of common interests, I certainly do not rely on an extrovert DH. The friends I have, are the kind that travel to my Birthday celebration by place, are ones I’d race to in the middle of the night if they needed me....no fluff.

By plane^^ And I just remembered...they are so great...when I have the flu...they take my DCs, same for my anniversary...I do the sameZ