Is it wrong to skip this friend visit?
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Anonymous
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There are several people in my life who I grew up with, from infancy -- our moms were good friends. I don't have much in common with them as individuals, other than this shared history. One of these people is on the east coast and wants to visit several of her friends in DC. She asked for a range of dates, planned her visit for a date I said I was unavailable, and now wants to know if I might squeeze her in. I could, but I don't really want to.
I think the question boils down to, should I put in the work necessary to maintain a relationship that's based on long history but no personal affinity? I don't have a ton of friends and have regretted, in the past, not maintaining friendships. I shouldn't let this one drop for no good reason, right? On the other hand, she's flaky and never happy with anything - not someone I enjoy being around. |
Anonymous
| Yeah, I would try to fit in a visit with her. |
Anonymous
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I would be inclined to do something small - lunch instead of dinner, or maybe just a coffee.
Then again, I’m in my 30’s and seeing all my friends become real adults with jobs and families makes me feel very nostalgic for old times. It’s easy to see the past through rose colored glasses, but I still try to make an effort to keep those connections. |
Anonymous
| Coffee. The universe works in weird ways. Go. |
Anonymous
| I would try if you can. |
Anonymous
| Okay! I will take DCUM's advice and go. Thanks, all. |
Anonymous
| Do you like her at all? You said you don’t enjoy her company. I know you already said you’d make it work but I don’t get why you’d want to jump through hoops to maintain a relationship with someone you dislike. |
Anonymous
M+1 |
Anonymous
| Does she want to stay at your house for a week or just meet up for a dinner? One dinner won't kill you. |
Anonymous
| I would have said no. I don't want to force myself to spend time with people I do not care about. |
Anonymous
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It looks like the only thing you have in common here is a shared history.
Nothing more. I would keep being “unavailable” until she gets the hint. Or if you think seeing her in short doses would be harmless, suggest meeting at Starbucks for a “quick” cup of coffee. Good luck. |