When should you tell a potential partner your intentions?

[Anonymous]

Divorced for almost 6 years and getting back into the dating scene. Looking to remarry somewhere down the line and maybe have another child. When should I let it be known? Should it be upfront or after a few dates?

[Anonymous]

Definitely up front because you want to make sure that the potential partner wants the same thing.

[Anonymous]

Wait at least until you know you like the person enough to commit to an exclusive relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait at least until you know you like the person enough to commit to an exclusive relationship.

I like this. Not up front.

-- A guy.

[Anonymous]

I think when it comes to things like wanting another kid, I'd rather know up front than to waste my time getting to know someone who wants kids when I'm done with that part of my life.

Depending on where you are meeting men, most dating apps have those fields where you put things like wanting more kids.

[Anonymous]

If you’ve been divorced for 6 years and haven’t dated, just go out and have fun for a bit ... How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve been divorced for 6 years and haven’t dated, just go out and have fun for a bit ... How old are you?

I’m 39.

[Anonymous]

If the topic comes up early, address it. If you like the person enough, and the conversation hasn’t ventured there, raise the point.

[Anonymous]

Once you've decided he is someone you can see having a future with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve been divorced for 6 years and haven’t dated, just go out and have fun for a bit ... How old are you?

I’m 39.

At 39, you really don’t have time to waste. Be upfront about it. You will lose some guys like the pp above, but you do not have time for the niceties, pleasantries, and uncertainty of getting to know someone just to find out that they don’t want kids.

[Anonymous]

I'm imaging sitting down at the coffee shop for the first in person "get to know you" meeting and the first thing out of her mouth is "I want to remarry and have more children!" then she looks at me expectantly. Uh, OK then!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm imaging sitting down at the coffee shop for the first in person "get to know you" meeting and the first thing out of her mouth is "I want to remarry and have more children!" then she looks at me expectantly. Uh, OK then!

Not necessarily on the first meeting, but yes, this needs to be brought on early on. If you have same reaction you mentioned above, then you’re the wrong person for her and she has saved a couple of months of her time. It takes 1-3 months to decide whether to be exclusive with someone and being this up, totally ok in 20’s and early 30’s where a person still have 1-2 decades. At 39, she has 3-6 years at most. She needs to find someone who knows what he wants and what he is looking for, not someone who wants to experiment and let things flow naturally.

[Anonymous]

If you're on the dating site it should be in your profile. For example: Looking for a long term relationship and ultimately marriage. You should be able to ascertain right away what their goals are. If they are looking for fun and a bedroom buddy forget it. You can get the idea from the phone chats before the coffee date.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think this is as weird as some people are making it out to be.

Even in my 20s I talked to dates about what I wanted in my future. Things line wanting to get married and have children, parts of the country where I wanted to live. The big difference is that back then the time line didn’t matter. It was NBD if a guy said he never wanted children because it felt an eternity in the future.

The only difference for OP is that now, it matters.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone for all the helpful advice!