irrational fear when dd is with her dad

[Anonymous]

does anyone else worry that when your child is with their dad (co-parent) that something bad is going to happen--like ex-dh will fall and hit his head and be unconscious or have a heart attack and your child will be in house all alone, endangered etc etc?

my dd is only 3 and when she goes to stay with dh, these kinds of things worry me. and then i do things like send text messages that say "how is going" or "does she still have a cough" etc....just so he'll confirm that he is still alive. it's not that i worry that she'll get hurt--he's a good parent and always pays attention. it's just that i live alone and he lives alone and i worry that something like this will happen.

i'm nuts, right?

[Anonymous]

Talk to him about your fears. I had these fears about being home with my kids and something happening to me (DH travels a lot). I taught them when they were around 3 to dial 911 if something ever happened to me. Luckily, they haven't had to use it yet.

[Anonymous]

You're not nuts. I think we all go through this (those of us with shared custody).

[Anonymous]

You're not nuts, you're a good mother. I would not talk to your ex about it, tho (unless you have a good relationship with him). The last thing you want is to be labeled controlling; then they resist giving you info. Things will get easier the older you child gets. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I don't worry about that as much as I worry about something happening to me! I live alone with my one-year-old daughter and occasionally the thought crosses my mind that if I died in my sleep, my daughter could theoretically starve to death before anyone figured out something was wrong and came looking for us. I've come to the conclusion that I should probably make sure that someone at work has my ex's contact info so that if I didn't show up for work one day, they could call him and he could investigate. (he has my keys.)

the other stupid thing I've occasionally thought about is if I ever needed an alibi for a crime, I wouldn't really have one. "Home alone, with my one-year-old" isn't a very good alibi. I mean, who could vouch for me? Certainly not my daughter!

[Anonymous]

op,

i fell the same way.. I couldnt even go to my salon because I didnt want to leave my 6 monthss old baby at the time with his dad...

I live in another country now but I fell weird lonely and sometimes I think he is coming after us.